Chapter 26

Tiffany

I’m pregnant. I’m freaking pregnant. I just kept telling myself that repeatedly all day long. It didn’t matter what I was doing, from brushing my teeth to putting gas in my car, the feeling of knowing I was growing a person in my body was completely blowing my mind. I had never gotten a piece of news that affected me in the way this was affecting me. I just couldn’t believe after all of that, one lunchtime sex session after days of sexting, led to me being pregnant. Jason was really impressed that we knocked it out after just the first time. I was impressed that after being told that I had a higher chance of hitting the lottery than getting pregnant, I knocked it out of the park. Either I needed a new doctor, or I needed to start playing the lottery because the reality was, I was pregnant. Until now, I’d never really understood what a woman felt like when they found out they were expecting. I was in shock and awed at how amazing all of it really was.

I was sitting at the table at John and Lily’s, chewing the steak that Lily had prepared. Was the baby supposed to even have steak? I suppose I’d have to learn all this now. I knew very little about pregnancy, having never been around any pregnant women or small children for that matter. I knew that my doctor would fill me in on everything I was and wasn’t allowed to have, but the thoughts kept popping into my mind. I didn’t mind it, though, since it kept my mind off the fact that we were about to reveal our big secret to everyone, including Jordan who was sitting across the table scowling at me as I ate. I didn’t know what his problem was, but if he thought he was pissed at me now, just wait until he finds out the news. I was almost nervous about letting him know. I shouldn’t have been because he was no one to me anymore other than my baby’s uncle. Still, the idea of letting everyone in on our secret was more than a little terrifying.

“So,” Jason said putting down his fork. “Tiffany and I have something we’d like to tell you.”

“Sure, honey,” Lily said, giving him her attention. “What is it?”

“Well,” he said, taking in a deep breath. “It wasn’t planned, and we had no idea it could even happen. This took us completely by surprise, but we found out recently that we’re having a baby.”

Lily put her hands to her face and smiled big, letting out a gasp. John shook his head and laughed, reaching over and taking Lily’s hand. There it was. We had told everyone the big news. I smiled at Lily, who seemed more than excited to be becoming a grandmother. Jason reached over and took my hand, pulling it into his lap and looking over at me in awe. All that stress and worry and in two seconds, the news was out. We apparently didn’t like to do anything in our relationship without having a bit of shock value to add to it. I looked down in my lap and then up at Jordan who looked like he was still processing what was just said. I was nervous for his reaction and sat there squeezing Jason’s hand as the table quieted and Jordan responded.

“What the hell?” he yelled.

“Jordan,” Jason said, putting up his hand.

“No, fuck you,” Jordan interrupted, very angry. “You are just a crazy whore trying to ruin everyone’s life. I wasn’t good enough to watch ruin, so you latched onto my brother.”

“Hey,” Jason yelled standing up. “Shut your damn mouth about Tiffany. You’re the one who left her when you thought she couldn’t have kids. You just dropped her on her ass because she didn’t fit into this crazy mold you have in your head on how you think a woman should be.”

“How do you even know she’s telling the truth? She could be lying about the whole damn thing,” Jordan screeched, standing up and pushing back his chair. “You are a disgrace.”

“Hey,” John said loudly, hushing the crowd. “Jordan, that is enough from you. Don’t think you can sit here and ruin something so beautiful. If she was told she couldn’t have children and she got pregnant, it is something to celebrate, not belittle her because it didn’t happen the way you wanted it to. This is not your life. It is Tiffany and Jason’s. You either get past it or keep your mouth shut. I won’t have you disrespecting anyone at my dinner table.”

Jordan pushed his chair backward so hard that it fell over. He turned from the table and stomped out of the dining room. I could hear his feet slamming against the floors as he made his way toward the door. I flinched as he slammed the front doors behind him. I looked over at Jason, who was shaking his head and rubbing his face.

“I’ll take care of it,” Jason said, leaning down and kissing my head before he walked out of the room and to the front where Jordan would be.

My mind raced with thoughts and emotions. On the one hand, I was upset about the fact that Jordan took our news so personally. On the other hand, I could not help if they told me I couldn’t have children and then, poof, I ended up pregnant. Jordan had never given us a chance. It was not the ideal situation, but I loved Jason, and I loved this baby. I wasn’t going to sit there letting him talk to us that way and ruin our happy moment. I was glad Jason was there to handle it, knowing Jordan would make me angrier than what was safe for me. I watched as Lily stood up and walked around the table, reaching over and wrapping her arms around me. The look on her face was pure excitement, and immediately, I started to feel better about what just happened.

“This is such amazing news,” she whispered as she hugged me. “We have to celebrate. Put Jordan out of your mind. He will come around, eventually. Right now, we should be thankful for the abundance of gifts and celebrate the coming arrival of our very first grandchild.”

“I’m so glad you feel that way,” I said, hugging her back. “Jason and I are absolutely thrilled with the news. It is a miracle I ever got pregnant in the first place.”

I looked up as Jason walked back in the room, hugging his father and smiling at me. John looked excited beyond himself, and I saw Jason let go of his irritation from Jordan and allow himself to enjoy the celebration his parents were trying to put forth. John walked over as I stood and wrapped his arms around me, kissing the top of my head. I could feel the fatherly love emanating from him, and I closed my eyes, allowing myself to feel it for the first time in my life.

We moved into the living room where the service staff brought out a bottle of champagne and a bottle of sparkling cider for me. Jason opened both bottles and poured the bubbling liquid into the glasses, handing me the sparkling cider. He raised his glass in the air, and we all followed suit.

“To a life of happiness and love,” Jason said.

“To our new beautiful grandchild,” Lily said.

“To many days and many nights chasing little bare feet through the house,” John said.

“To miracles moving us beyond celebration and into a time of healing,” I said, looking over at Jason.

I was so excited that everyone wanted to celebrate, and I smiled and laughed right along with them, but in the back of my mind, I couldn’t help but feel bad. I knew that I had a right to feel however I wanted and so did Jordan, but I couldn’t fully put myself into the celebration, knowing how upset Jordan was and how badly Jason and I had hurt him. I sat there quietly, listening to Jason and his parents talking excitedly about the new baby, trying to shake the feeling of guilt I had.

Sure, Jordan had treated me terribly, and for all intents and purposes, I didn’t owe him any explanation for my choices, but that didn’t mean it was right of me to completely bash his heart. I didn’t have those kinds of feelings for Jordan anymore, but that didn’t mean I wasn’t a human being, capable of understanding when certain news should be delivered in a different way to different people. I should have sat down with Jordan and explained things better. I should have told him about the doctors I was going to and how they were already under the impression that my last doctor wasn’t completely correct in my diagnosis. With as angry as I wanted to get at him, I knew that he had cared for me at one point and wasn’t as ruthless as I told myself when deciding to divorce me. It was difficult information to handle, thinking you would never have your own children. He probably felt especially cheated now that Jason and I were expecting.

We stayed for another hour or two, talking and celebrating before my constant yawning caught Jason’s attention. He took me home, so I could get some good rest in my own bed, and though I would miss being by his side, it felt really good to be home. I went to the fridge and grabbed a big glass of juice and some fruit and sat down in the living room. I picked up my phone, realizing I had missed one incredibly important person in the announcement process. Mona.

“Hey, slut,” she answered, making me laugh.

“Hey,” I said. “I have news.”

“I like news,” she said. “Unless it's bad, then I don’t like it.”

“Guess who is pregnant,” I said.

“Hmm, Angelina Jolie? I knew that slut had a lover on the side. Poor Brad,” she said, laughing. “No? Is it someone I know?”

“Yep,” I said cheerfully.

“Dude, I have no idea,” she replied. “I could—wait. Is it you?”

“Ding, ding, ding.” I laughed.

“What? You’re pregnant?” The tone of Mona’s voice was more excited than any other time I had ever talked to her. “I can’t believe this! Are you happy? Is Jason happy?”

“We are both really happy,” I said, pleased with her enthusiasm.

We talked for over an hour after that as Mona went on and on about how excited she was. I could hear her on the other line typing on the computer as she talked about planning the baby shower, picking out furniture, and all the other exciting things I hadn’t yet had a chance to really think about. She had some crazy ideas for a gender reveal party, and I just sat back and let her get even crazier talking about everything. It was nice to have someone to talk to who didn’t make me think about all the stressful aspects of this pregnancy. Still, in the back of mind, hiding in the shadows was that guilt about how Jordan had found out. I couldn’t help but think that everyone should have stepped back for a second and given him a little extra room to understand what happened. I was worried he would never come around, and Jason would be left with a rift in his relationship. Our child wouldn’t have an uncle to grow up with. For all of Jordan’s faults, in the end, he was not a bad person, and I really needed to start thinking of a way to repair the damage everything had done to our relationship. If not for me, then for the father of my child.