Chapter 27

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My office seemed lonely and quiet, and I wasn’t looking forward to Ava coming in and giving her resignation. I didn’t want her to leave, and I couldn’t lie that when she called me the night before, I had been still awake, thinking about her. I wanted so badly to jump in my car and go rescue her, bring her back to the penthouse, and make passionate love to her, but I didn’t think I could handle the aftermath. Our relationship had been up and down, over and over again, and my emotions were pulled to the thinnest they could go without snapping.

She had made her choice to not be with me and to quit, and I had to accept that, move forward, and not jump every time she called. I knew she wasn’t doing it on purpose. I knew she was confused as hell, but I didn’t know how to be there for that and not be aiding her in continuing that behavior. Even if I had rescued her the night before, she would have had to eventually stop going in these destructive circles that she was stuck in. I thought maybe if I removed myself from the equation, it would help break the cycle.

I looked up as Ava knocked on the doorframe, her clothes pressed but her hair pulled back and giant sunglasses covering her eyes. She reached up and pushed her glasses up on her head, revealing her tired and puffy eyes. I could tell that she had one hell of a hangover, and I tried my best to hide the smirk trying to creep over my lips. I sat up in the chair and motioned for her to come in. She pulled herself from the door frame and walked in, closing the door behind her, and wobbling slightly as she walked.

“Wow,” I said with a chuckle. “How was your night last night?”

“Ugh,” she groaned. “Full of liquor and anger. You know, the normal.”

“Why were you all alone outside when you called me?”

“I was dancing on the dance floor, lost in the music, and this guy hit on me,” she said shaking her head. “So, I left.”

Instantly, without warning jealously blew through me like wind. I gripped down on the chair arms and looked down at my computer screen, trying not to show her how much that bothered me. Why was she telling me this? To make me jealous? I didn’t even know how to respond to it, and I could tell she was not realizing what it sounded like. I took in a deep breath and relaxed my muscles, knowing that I needed to cool down. Even if it did bother me that a guy was hitting on her, obviously, she didn’t go home with him since she called me after leaving the club. Still, just the idea of some other man’s hands on her made me want to break something, or someone. I cleared my throat and glanced up at her, but she was too hungover to even realize that I was struggling with the thought of another man. I was thankful since I was trying to keep my composure. I took in a deep breath to say something, anything to clear the silence, but before I could respond she leaned forward and began to speak.

“I didn’t like it,” she said. “I didn’t like another man anywhere near me. Just his proximity to me made me miss you terribly, even after trying to drink your memory out of my head.”

“Really?” I was taken back by her words, but not because she felt that way, more because she was being honest about it.

“Yeah,” she sighed. “I went straight to Brianna’s yesterday when I left here, and though I didn’t want to go to the club, I didn’t know what else to do to get you out of my head. I missed everything about you and that guy’s cologne made me want to run away in tears, which was pretty much what I did. He probably thought he had an odor problem or something.”

“Serve’s him right,” I said angrily. She looked up and smiled, finally noticing the jealousy that I was no longer trying to hide.

She was being open and honest with me, even after how I had reacted to her the day before. I could see a desperation in her eyes that showed me she knew this was her last chance to talk to me about this, to make me want to forgive her. There was something about her that just melted me right there in my office chair. I should have been angry about that, having spent days building up a wall against any more heart break but I wasn’t. In fact, the feeling of anger leaving was a weight off my chest, and I felt like I could finally breathe again.

“Ava,” I said leaning forward. “Don’t do this. Don’t leave. I want you to stay with the company. There is so much here for you, and it would be stupid of you to walk away now. You were even brought up during the executive meeting earlier, and they couldn’t get enough of you. You are a jewel and important to everyone here.”

“I don’t know,” she said looking sad. “I don’t know what to do. I don’t know if I can come here every single day and look across the hall and see your face. I don’t know if I can keep my emotions away, always feeling like I need to make it up to you. I just don’t know what the right choice is.”

I sat there staring at her, not knowing what to do or say, but I knew I couldn’t let her go. I couldn’t let her walk away from this job, from everything, and from me. I started to doubt myself, feeling that I had lost control again, but this time I didn’t care anymore. I just wanted to have the right words come to me so that I could convince her to stay, to be there across the hall from me. I couldn’t promise her it wouldn’t be hard seeing each other every day, but that was not my worry at that point. My worry was that she was going to walk away, and I would never see her again, left without her expertise at MJ, and without her presence in my life. I had never felt fear like that before over a woman, and it was making me think about things I would have never thought about when I was single for the last decade. I wanted to be completely unselfish, needing her to be happy and well.

“Look,” I said leaning forward. “It’s obvious that I want to see you all the time, that hasn’t changed. But I’m asking you to stay for more than just selfish reasons. I want you to stay because there is so much opportunity here for you. The merger is here, and if you are part of that, you can go anywhere with your career. No one your age can say they were part of the leadership team in a multibillion-dollar merger. It is just unheard of, but you are the best person for the job. I don’t want you to miss out on that because you are unsure of us. Please, don’t do that. Take the weekend and really think about what you want, don’t just make a rash decision.”

She sighed and put her hands up to her face, stressing out by the amount of choices she was facing. She was so beautiful, and I wanted nothing more to go over to her and wrap my arms around her. She was the woman I wanted, no matter what decision she made, but I couldn’t say that, not yet. I needed to let her make this decision for herself. It was so difficult, though, and I couldn’t help but think about my life without her in it. Just the thought made me feel sick to my stomach, and I began to panic, thinking she was going to make the wrong decision. I didn’t know what the wrong decision for her was, though, only knowing that if she left, it would be the wrong decision for me.

Instantly, I felt the panic growing stronger and stronger. I stood up from my stool and walked around the desk, pulling Ava up from her chair. She looked at me with confusion in her eyes as I stared at her, my face crumpled in fear. I had never felt this way about any woman before in my life, and I knew that if I walked away from this now, never showing her how much I cared, I would regret it for the rest of my life. I pulled her in and hugged her tightly, feeling her body go from stiff to relaxed as she leaned into me. It felt so good to feel her near me, to have her breathing close to my chest. At that moment, I knew there was no way that I could let her go without a fight.

“I’m not asking you,” I whispered. “I’m begging you. Please don’t leave. Stay with me. Stay here at the company. Stay in my life. I don’t care in what way.”

She pulled back and looked at me with surprise, assuming I would never reach that level. In all reality, I never thought I would reach that level either, but it was like my heart wouldn’t allow my brain to be embarrassed about it at all. She looked at me, breathing hard, thinking about my words, her face softening. A small smile moved across her lips, and she shook her head.

“I don’t know what to say,” she whispered. “That was more than anyone has ever said to me before.”

“You don’t need to say anything at this point,” I said, pulling her back toward me.

I leaned down and tipped her chin toward me, pressing my mouth against hers and kissing her passionately. She reached her arms around my neck and hung there, allowing me to taste her skin, move my lips over hers, and rub my arms over her back. This seemed exactly perfect, more perfect than I had realized before, and I never wanted to let Ava go.

I had spent my entire life, looking forward, fighting through the rough patches to get to where I wanted to be. My company was almost taking over itself at that point, and my life was becoming less and less stressful. I hadn’t thought about starting a life outside of work for a very long time, but with Ava in my life, it seemed like I wasn’t going to have a chance to make any other decision.

I could feel her breathing heavily as I moved my lips over her mouth, across her cheek and down her neck. She moaned softly in my ear, and I went from desperate to prove to her she needed to stay to turned on and ready to show her just how much she needed to stay, for personal reasons. I took a deep breath and moved my hands up to her face, cradling it in my hands. I looked deep in her eyes and stood there, showing her without words how much I wanted her. She reached forward and gripped onto my shirt with her fists, pressing her abdomen against my crotch, rubbing up and down. I groaned, trying to keep my cool, but just having Ava touching me was setting me off.

I couldn’t keep my hands off her, and though this started as a desperate attempt to keep her at the company, it had quickly turned into an opportunity to show her just how much I wanted her. I looked over at the desk and back at her, curling my lips into a smile. This was one of my biggest fantasies.