Chapter 23

Tanner

When I headed out to go to Ava’s place that day, I had no intention of immediately falling into bed with her, but when I walked into the house, it was like the desire between us was so intense that I couldn’t think of anything else. She was so freaking gorgeous, even sitting there in her pajamas, messy hair, and no makeup. Actually, it was probably the most beautiful I had ever seen her. I didn’t know what any of this meant, but I was not going to let the opportunity to get her back in my arms pass me by. Ava was this amazing creature that I couldn’t get away from, no matter how hard I tried. I thought about her day and night, her sensual curves, beautiful face, and amazing body constantly plaguing me, even at the most inopportune times. She was pretty much the most amazing thing I had ever seen, and no matter what I did to divert these feelings, I couldn’t pull myself back.

I stood up and smiled as Ava caught her breath. She bit her lip and laughed, shaking her head back and forth. I pulled on my pants and shirt and reached down to help her up. She pulled herself into my arms, her naked skin touching my hands. She stretched up on her toes and kissed my lips, smiling, before turning and pulling her pajama’s back on. I didn’t want to her to get dressed, but I knew we couldn’t lay around all night naked. Though there was a brief moment where I considered bringing up the prospect.

Once we were dressed, I pulled her close again, kissing her lips. As they parted, and our eyes met, there was a knock at the door. I could feel her muscles tense as she looked up at me, confusion rolling across her face. She ran her hands over her hair and tiptoed barefoot across the floor. She leaned forward and peered into the peephole, freezing and looking back at me with panic. I knew exactly what was going on. She didn’t even need to say it.

“My dad,” she mouthed. “Fuck!”

I pulsed my hands up and down to tell her to calm down, panicking was not going to help anything at that moment. She immediately started to bite her nails, walking back over to me, her face changing from blissful to panicked really fast. I kissed her forehead and smiled, knowing that though it was a strange time, she had been looking forward to her father finally coming over since all of the drama had started. I couldn’t let her be too worried about it at that point.

“Who is it?” She looked over at me and started to grab the rest of my clothes.

“It’s your dad,” he said.

“Hi, Daddy,” she yelled. “Can you give me just a minute?”

“Take your time,” he said.

She piled my shoes and socks in my arms and looked at me, not knowing what to say or do. I knew I needed to go, hide somewhere, but I wanted to know that she was calm and prepared before I went. This was the perfect opportunity for her to patch things up with her father, even maybe tell him about us. I could tell there was an us, not because of the sex but because of how we were together at every turn. It was like we needed each other, and we only recently realized it.

“Take a deep breath,” I whispered. “Everything will be okay. I will go hide out in your bedroom for a while. I don’t want to cause any more issues between you and your father. He’s sure to run off if he sees me here.”

“Thank you,” she whispered, looking relieved.

She reached up one last time and kissed me softly on the lips, lingering for a moment to feel me close to her. I wanted so badly to stand by her side, be there for her through this, but after what had happened at my place, it would only make things worse. At that moment, the best thing for me to do was get out of sight but just around the corner, hoping she could feel my support through the walls. Maybe this was a good thing, an opportunity for everything to be set back on track. There was definitely too much stress in both of our lives, and I knew that if she had her father’s blessing, she would feel much better about everything. Then again, I wasn’t sure Dean was ready to give any kind of blessings when it came to me. He pretty much hated me, and I could feel the aftereffects of that hate still lingering in my jaw from when he punched me. I hadn’t told Ava that part and didn’t plan on ever doing so. I truly cared for her, which meant it was my responsibility to not let her be hurt, and seeing her father in that light was definitely a way to hurt her.

I walked into the bedroom and closed the door, looking back at Ava one last time. I hadn’t remembered ever seeing her place in the daylight, and her bed looked incredibly comfortable. However, not knowing what kind of noise it may make, I opted to sit on the floor, my back pressed against the inner walls. I could hear Dean’s voice as Ava let him into the apartment. The sounds were muffled for a few minutes and then I heard Ava invite him to sit down. Their conversation was calm and full of love. It was very obvious that he was hurt, but at the same time, so was she. This wasn’t as cut and dry as she thought it was, I could tell.

“I love you, Ava,” Dean said.

“I love you, too, Daddy,” she said. “I never meant to hurt you. I was doing what I thought was right for my career, for my personal life, but all the while feeling like the walls were closing in on me every time I had to lie to you. I never wanted that to be the way.”

“I know,” he sighed. “You have been such a good kid your entire life, and now as an adult, you made a mistake. I can understand that and appreciate the quality of a life learned through lessons. You are hurt just as much as I am, and I know it can’t be easy with what your mother’s done.”

“I’m so sorry she did that,” Ava said, obviously crying. “I don’t know how I’ll ever forgive her.”

“You’ll forgive her because she is your mother, and she loves you,” he said kindly. “She didn’t do this to you. She did it to me. Let me take the burden on that one. I’m still trying to figure out how my supposed best friend could take advantage of my little girl.”

“Daddy,” she sighed. “You have to remember that I may always be your daughter, but I’m no longer a little girl. I knew full well what I was getting myself into with Tanner, and I was willing to take on anything that followed my actions.”

“Are you still seeing him?”

“No,” she said after a few moments.

I grabbed onto my chest feeling as if my heart was breaking inside of me. I couldn’t believe she had just tossed me to the wolves like that. My heart was completely broken, in more ways than one. I thought that we had connected, bonded, and found ourselves in a place that was perfect for both of us, but I guessed that was just me thinking that. I pulled my attention away from the conversation, not wanting to hear anymore. I was almost angry at myself for thinking anything different. How could I be angry at her? She had been through hell, and her decision was the same one I would have made. Hell, I had made that decision over and over again through the last decade. She was probably doing me a favor, keeping me from getting myself wrapped up in a relationship that I didn’t even know how to be in.

My head leaned back against the wall, and I closed my eyes, trying to think about the fact that three weeks ago, I would have never thought I would be sitting here with a broken heart. This was exactly why I needed to keep my mind focused on work, not women. I had been perfectly fine with my life before I met Ava, and I would be perfectly fine after she was gone. She knew I could hear her, and this was her chance to let her father know that we were in a relationship or at least seeing each other, but she didn’t. That spoke volumes. As I reminding myself over and over like a mantra that I would be get through this, I could feel the walls starting to build back up around my heart. It felt good not to have to feel the pain, no matter how unhealthy it was.

I sighed and looked down at my watch, now wanting to get out of there and get back to my life. I guessed that was the finality I needed, so I could stop going crazy trying to get to Ava. From there on, I knew that there was no point in hunting her down, no point in chasing her. She was resolute in the fact that there was nothing between us. There was a part of me that was disappointed, sure, but that part was almost instantly buried, my mind protecting me from the pain that was trying to push through. I didn’t have time to move around and be upset, I had a job to do, a company to continue to build, until no one can catch me. I had always wanted an empire, a dream that I had forgotten over the last few weeks because my mind was full of thoughts of Ava, her father, and my exploding feelings, but now things could be different.

I put my hands down and listened back to the conversation, now wanting to get out of there. I felt like I was trapped and there was a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach. If it took much longer, I was considering going out the window and down the fire escape. That, however, was not my preference.

“Dad,” I heard her say, walking past the door. “I’m starving, why don’t we go have dinner.”

“That’s a great idea,” he said.

“Okay, give me two seconds to change,” she said.

I could hear her grabbing clothes from the laundry room and disappearing into the bathroom. At least I wasn’t going to have any awkward face-to-face time with her before she left. I got up off the floor and walked over to the window, waiting for them to leave. It looked cold out, so I made sure that I was dressed and my coat was pulled on before they had even left. I didn’t want to waste any time getting out of there.

After about twenty more minutes, I could hear them discussing what restaurant they wanted to go to. The front door opened and closed, and the voices drifted off into the distance. I looked down at the sidewalk and watched as Dean and Ava walked from the house and out to her car, parked in front. They climbed inside and took off down the street, Ava not even looking behind. I let out a deep breath, decidedly relieved that I could finally get out of there and leave the shards of my broken heart behind. As I passed through the house, I felt an eerie silence creeping through, and I looked back, making sure I had gotten everything before shutting the door behind me.

Though I figured it was over and done with now, I couldn’t help but feel unresolved, a little unhinged, and very confused.