Chapter 11
Coffee Guy rolls over and props up on his elbow so he’s looking down at me.
“That was the fucking sexiest thing I’ve ever seen,” he says.
I smile and close my eyes, too spent to do anything else.
He wraps his arms around me from behind and nuzzles his chin against my shoulder.
“I’ve literally seen stars,” I manage.
He laughs, a deep laugh. “That’s a big compliment coming from you, the girl who talks about astronomy and the universe. I know you’ve seen stars before, but I’m happy to have shown you a new kind.”
“I’m happy to have made the discovery.”
“I always fulfill my promises. Maybe one day you’ll tell me one of your fantasies.”
“I’m boring. I honestly don’t have one.”
“Come on. There must be something.”
I think for a minute. “I do have a thing for tattoos.”
“Really?”
“Not like arm sleeves or anything like that. Just one small one, strategically placed, that’s meaningful.”
He arches his brow. “Strategically placed?”
“Somewhere inconspicuous. Does your mind ever not go right to sex?”
“Hmm. No. Anyway, I’d never have pegged you for a tat girl.”
“I know. It’s a weird fetish. Well, not really a fetish. I think they’re sexy. Would you ever get one?”
“I’ve never considered it. Until now. I’m terrified of needles.”
“Really? I wouldn’t have pegged that about you either. You seem like such a strong guy.”
He pulls me into a vice and won’t let go. I eventually give up fighting and relax in his arms. My body is exhausted. Every inch of me is fatigued, like I’ve just run a race. I guess in a way it was a marathon kind of day. “Thank you,” I whisper as I close my eyes.
“No, thank you. For trusting me.”
“I told you I did.”
“But saying it and meaning it are two different things. You doing that, it showed me you trust me.”
I open my eyes, sensing this is important. “I do,” I assure him. “I don't know why, considering I’ve only known you for less than forty-eight hours, but I do. You make me feel safe.”
“I would never do anything to hurt you,” he says, linking his fingers through mine. “I’ll always be honest with you.”
“Me too. Why was it so important you knew I trusted you?”
He lets out a breath and rolls onto his back. “I haven’t spoken to my dad in over seven years.”
“Seven years. That’s a long time.”
He nods. “I used to work with him. My younger brother and I did. My dad gave him the better clients even though I worked my ass off. I kept telling my dad I was ready for more responsibility. He put me in charge of a big merger and I was psyched. I took my time building up the relationships until I had everything lined up as I wanted it. My dad questioned me and my tactics throughout the process. I asked him to trust me. I told him we needed all parties on the same page for this to work. And there were some cultural things that needed to be worked out. I felt it was important to build up their trust. And I asked for his in return. I clearly remember saying, ‘Have some faith in me, Dad.’” He pauses and rubs his face as he lets out a sigh.
“I know it must be difficult to talk about. You don’t have to tell me the rest if you don’t want to.”
“No, I’m fine. It still pisses me off thinking about it.”
I move so I’m behind him and massage his shoulders, hoping to ease some of his tension.
He drops his head and leans into me.
“So what happened?” I prompt as I move my hands over his generous biceps.
“He went behind my back and undid all my work. He offered one party more money in exchange for removing some of my provisions. Provisions I had added to accommodate the other side. I recognized there needed to be a give and take. So each party told me their priorities and I based my negotiations on making sure they both got something crucial they wanted. I couldn’t believe he tried to sell me out. He claims he wanted to teach me a lesson. Business is business. And all this trust I was trying to foster was B.S. I was naive. He said money talks and when he offered more they jumped. The deal fell apart.”
“I’m so sorry,” I say as I rest my chin on his shoulder.
“Turns out they bailed not because of the money. But because they found out he was my dad and they thought we were trying to pull a fast one. Like it was all a scheme. He not only ruined the deal, but my reputation with those clients as well. That was the last time I spoke to him.”
“Did he try to apologize? Make things right?”
“I didn’t give him that chance.”
I’m beginning to think people are confusing his stubbornness with ruthlessness. But I keep that thought to myself.
“That must be hard. Having to see him every day at work.”
“I left. I went to his top competitor and took my brother with me.”
Or perhaps not.
“Is his relationship with your brother strained?”
“A little. But they still talk. He’s more forgiving than I am.”
“I’m sorry about your dad. It sucks that he didn’t put his faith in you. It’s hard when the people who are closest to us let us down.”
“It runs deeper than that. I guess I’ve always felt as if he had to have done something to make my mom want to leave. Because what other reason is there that a mother would desert her children?”
“Did you ever ask your dad about it?”
“Yes. He gave some B.S. excuse that she had big dreams and wanted to pursue them. I think he was trying to be inspirational about the importance of going after what you want. He said she still loved us and would miss us every day. But that was all a lie—if she loved us she would never have left in the first place. Promise me you’ll never lie to me,” he whispers.
I move so we’re facing one another. “I won’t. I promise.”
“Good. Just trust me, that’s all I ask. I could never be in a relationship with someone who doesn’t put their faith in me. It’s a deal-breaker.”
I plant a kiss on his lips in response. He pulls me close and his words ring in my ears. I could never be in a relationship with someone who doesn’t put their faith in me. I hope he means it. Because I want much more than just a weekend. For so long I’ve pushed men away, but the thought of having a relationship with him is one that I welcome.
As we drift off to sleep I think about what he shared. How Callie hurt him by lying to him. How his dad did the same. Two of the most important people in his life. No wonder he has trust issues. But now he has me.
I wake up around two a.m. with a sense of sadness. I shake my head to clear it but don’t recall having another one of my dreams. And then it hits me. In just a matter of hours the weekend is over. I’ve only known Coffee Guy for forty-eight hours, give or take, but already I can’t imagine my life without him. I look over to where he’s sleeping and a sliver of moonlight bathes his features in a soft glow. It’s fitting because he’s brought warmth and light to my life in the short time I’ve known him. I try to go back to sleep but thoughts about our future spin out of control. I slip out of bed and peer out the window. It’s overcast and I can’t see any stars. This only adds to my melancholy.
“Whatchya doing?”
“Sorry! I didn’t mean to wake you. I couldn’t sleep.”
“I thought you’d be knocked out after all our activity.”
“I know,” I give him a sheepish grin. “Just thinking about tomorrow, I guess. And how I wish tonight would never end.”
“Come back to bed.”
I snuggle up next to him and breathe in his now familiar scent.
“As long as you’re up, let’s have one last go,” he says.
Last?
He pulls me to him and kisses me softly.
“Shit, I’m out of condoms,” he says.
I know we should stop. But when I’m with him all of my sense goes out the window. It’s like my body takes over and my judgment becomes clouded. “Just pull out.”
“Are you sure?”
I nod.
He takes his time, unlike the fast and frenzied sex we’ve had all weekend. Now he’s slow and methodical. It’s almost as though he’s making love to me. Or perhaps saying goodbye. I push the thought from my mind. He brings me to the edge and back, teasing me, torturing me. “I want to tell you my name,” he says between kisses.
“Not yet.”
“When I do, I want to hear you scream it when you come. Over and over. I want no one else’s name to ever touch your lips. You’re mine.”
His words put me over the edge. I find my release and he pulls out shortly after. His hot semen spurts over my breasts, then down my stomach. It’s as though he’s marking me. “You’re mine,” he tells me again between kisses.
“I’m yours,” I whisper, testing the words out loud.
He grabs a washcloth and cleans us both up. Then he climbs back in bed beside me.
I give him a lingering kiss and turn away. It’s my goodbye. And I don’t want him to see the tears that are welling in my eyes.
“Ms. Coffee?”
“Mmm?”
“Can I tell you something?”
I take a deep breath and face him. He looks at me and pauses. “You’re upset.”
“I’m not. I was just reflecting on our weekend. I’m glad it was you,” I say, looking him directly in the eye. “I don’t think I could’ve done this with anyone else. And to be honest had Trish picked anyone else, I probably would’ve backed out.”
I think he knows this is a big revelation for me. “Now, what were you going to say?” I ask as I wipe away the one tear that’s managed to escape.
He hesitates, and it’s as though he’s changed his mind. “I don’t like to share.”
“OK. I thought that was more my style, but that’s fine.”
“What I mean is that I’ve never wanted to share anything after Callie. Not the spotlight, not my successes, not my time, my victories or my failures. And certainly not my bed for more than a night. But then you came along.” He takes a deep breath. “I’ve never felt this way about anyone after her. But for the first time since our breakup, I’m open to sharing my life with someone else. Because being with you just makes things better. Like I said before, you make me want to be a better man. The kind of man you deserve.”
I’m overwhelmed. I smile at him and this time the tears do fall. He pulls me close and whispers, “I don’t know what you’re doing to me. You’re like a drug. The more I have of you the more I want. Crave.”
I know the feeling.
“I want to be inside you. All the time.” And we begin the dance once more.
Afterward I snuggle closer to him. Since I’ve slept alone for so long I never thought I could go to sleep touching someone else. But I love his warmth. My breathing becomes deep and even and I’m on the verge of sleep.
“Ms. Coffee,” he says.
I try to let out a sound but I’m too tired.
“I could fall in love with you,” he whispers.
I’ve already fallen.
As though he’s read my mind he says, “I think I already have.”
Phrases float around in my head. I hope I can remember them in the morning. As I fall asleep with a smile on my face, I have a strong suspicion that I will.
Love
Falling…
Falling…
Fallen.
Pure bliss.