Chapter 21
Weekends are the hardest. Endless stretches of time that I need to fill. There are only so many errands I can run and yoga sessions I can handle. It never bothered me before. But that’s how my life is now: divided into before and after.
Tonight I’m having dinner with Melanie and her mom, Gayle. Growing up, Gayle was like a second mom to me. Even though we didn’t live in the same city, she’d send me letters and accompany Melanie on her visits. Once I moved to Chicago, she insisted I join them for holidays and family get-togethers. I love Melanie’s family. It’s big and boisterous and everything I never had. Gayle welcomed me with open arms, not only because I was Melanie’s roommate, but because I was special to her. I thought Melanie was just saying that to make me feel comfortable, but Gayle told me so herself.
Tonight Mel and Gayle are coming to a restaurant in my neighborhood. Gayle hasn’t been to my new apartment since I moved out of Melanie’s place. It’s nice she wants to see where I live. I straighten up, which for me means a light dusting, and put out a platter of cheese and crackers.
There’s a knock at the door shortly after six. Melanie is on my authorized guest list, so I never need to buzz her up.
“You could’ve used your key,” I tell her.
“I know. But I didn’t want to startle you. I would have if you didn’t answer.”
“Lucy, you look wonderful!” Gayle says as she hands me a bottle of wine.
I thank her then give her a brief tour. Gayle admires my two-bedroom but comments how I need artwork. Maybe that can fill up some of my free time—looking for art. But I wouldn’t have the first clue about where to start.
We open the bottle of wine Gayle brought and settle on my sectional. We have about forty minutes before our reservation. Mel updates us on her students. I’m especially eager to hear about Phoenix girl.
“Alanna? She’s doing OK. Dating this guy Colby who she met in her creative writing class. I encouraged her to sign up to meet people. And she got a boyfriend out of it. See, I told you she would rise above,” she tells me.
But what happens when they break up? I want to ask. But I don’t.
I tell them about the latest with Robica’s nuptials. Gayle loves hearing about my job. She probably can’t wait to plan Melanie’s wedding someday.
“And how are you doing otherwise?” Gayle asks. Melanie’s told her about my situation. It’s funny, she knows more than my own mother.
“I’m fine.”
“I hear you’re taking a cooking class.”
“I am. God knows I could use the help.”
“It’s why we’re going out for dinner,” Melanie jokes.
“Speaking of, where’s Neil? I know he usually joins us.”
“He isn’t feeling well,” Gayle says. “Anyway, Melanie mentioned you have a nice partner.”
“Mom!” Melanie exclaims.
“It’s OK. Yes, James. He’s nice and makes class fun.”
“Is he single?”
“As far as I know.”
“A man who cooks. Sounds like a dream.”
“Let’s just say he could use some help in that department. But he’s sweet and makes me laugh. We’ll see.”
“Good. I’m glad you’re open to the possibility. What about you, Mel? How are things with Luke?”
“They’re good. He said he wasn’t looking for a serious relationship when we met. But he’s still around. I think he says it more for his benefit than for mine. It’s as if he wants me to think he’s not the relationship type, but his actions say otherwise. So I go along with it, but the more time that passes the more serious things get.”
“Just be careful. Sounds like he has commitment issues.”
“That’s the thing. He’s the one who’s committing. Making plans, wanting to see me more frequently. And when we’re intimate, I can feel that it means something more to him than just sex. We connect on a deeper level.”
I would never talk to my mom about sex. Sometimes I’m jealous of their relationship.
“And Sheeba loves him,” Melanie adds. “She’s a very good judge of character.”
I thought Melanie told me he hasn’t been to her place before. She was annoyed about always having to go by him. But maybe he has. Or she’s trying to justify things to her mom. I keep my mouth shut.
Just then Romeo bounds into the room and settles in Melanie’s lap.
“This guy is a good judge of character too.” We all laugh.
“Honey, from what you’re saying it sounds as though he’s finding his way through this. That he wants to be with you in his heart and his head needs to catch up. I’m happy that you have a connection. But just keep in mind what I said, OK?”
“OK. Where’s Juliet? I haven’t seen her since we got here.”
“She’s still hiding. She loves this spot in the back of my closet. I keep hoping she’ll come out of her shell. See the light.”
“Do she and Romeo interact?” Melanie asks.
“Not that I’ve seen. It’s funny how they share the same space but lead separate lives. Two cats alone in this place, you’d think they’d find some common ground.”
I look to Gayle, who has an odd expression.
“Do you think marriage is based on an equal partnership?” Melanie asks her mom.
“What do you mean?”
“Do you think there’s always one person who loves the other one more? I’m asking because in my experience it seems like there’s always someone who’s doing everything they can to impress the other. Win over their affections. And the other person loves being loved. Is it ever really equal?”
“I don’t know. I’m not the best person to ask.”
“But you’ve been married to dad for over twenty years.”
“We’re separating,” she says.
“What?” Melanie is stunned. So am I.
“Do Rachel and Riley know?”
“Not yet. We’ll tell them. It’s been a long time coming. Your father and I just grew apart. We’ve been leading separate lives, connected only by our children. But now that Riley’s almost graduated, it felt like the right time. We wanted to stay together for our family. But you’re all old enough now that we thought you could handle it.”
I wonder if there will ever come an age where you’re old enough to handle learning your parents are getting divorced. Even though Melanie is a grown adult, she takes the news hard.
“Your dad and I still love each other and always will. But we’re not in love anymore. And while we may seem old, we still have lots of time. We don’t want to go through the rest of our lives without seeing if we can find it with someone else. I promise you we’ll still do things as a family. We’ve both agreed to this and we’re on good terms. But for now we think we’re better off apart.”
This does little to alleviate Melanie’s angst. I excuse myself from going to dinner. Normally Melanie would protest, but under the circumstances she wants to be alone with her mom. I get it. As much as I’d like to think I’m part of their family, I’m not. They head out and I clear away the wine glasses, emptying the remaining contents in the sink. Melanie didn’t even finish hers.
I’ve always believed in the sanctity of marriage. If after twenty years it can fall apart, then what’s to say anything is sacred? I want to console Melanie, but what is there to say? That when things seem too good to be true they often are? That even when you find love it leaves you, no matter how hard you want it to come back. I don’t need to tell her these things, because she already knows.
As if to prove me wrong, Juliet creeps into the room. Her eyes land on Romeo and she stills. They watch each other, assessing the other. Slowly she makes her way toward where he’s nestled on the couch. Just when I think she’s going to run away, she jumps up and settles down beside him. He lets out a soft “meow” and rubs his cheek against hers. They stay there huddled together, like a sign of solidarity, for the rest of the night. Perhaps there’s hope after all.