Chapter 7

Jude

It was pure instinct to reach out and grab Ava by the waist as she toppled into me with a surprised gasp. We fell back against the bed with our legs dangling off the edge. The bus corrected a split second later. The sensation of Ava’s body beneath mine was more than enough to drive me wild with lust. Her chest heaved against mine as she braced herself against me, while trying to squirm away with wide eyes.

Why couldn’t she just give in? Why did she have to be so damn stubborn about every damn thing when it came to us?

I’d had plenty of women in this bed over the past couple of years. None of them felt right beneath me. Not like it felt when Ava clutched at my forearms as if she was trying to hold herself steady, or to push away from me. She didn’t know which one to do.

And at the moment, I didn’t care if kissing Ava right now would risk her fighting back against me, like she had been. I had nothing to lose.

I adjusted my weight to my elbows so that I could drape between her legs easily.

“Jude,” she started, gasping. “Don’t. Don’t even think about it.”

I crushed my lips against hers in a searing kiss that I felt deep inside of me. I kissed her madly, pouring every ounce of my tumultuous emotion into it. She tasted of minty Chapstick against the tip of my tongue as I slid it through the seam of her lips. I expected the tension in her body to build. I expected her to push me away like she did at the wedding reception.

Instead, Ava’s hands shot up and tangled in my hair, kissing me back with just as much aggression. Her tongue tangled hotly against mine while she arched up into me with a throaty moan that instantly set my blood on fire. I carved a hand through the soft locks of her hair while letting my other trace the curves that I longed to memorize. I felt hot, suffocated by own my desires and tightening skin. My cock was straining against the fabric of my boxers as I ground myself against another seam of hers, letting out a guttural groan.

She fought me with each kiss. Her fingers tugged hard at the back of my neck and hair, just as hard as my fingers were in hers. I didn’t care that Chuck was a few feet away, completely unaware of what was going on. I was going to bury myself deep inside of Ava without hesitation.

I tore my lips away to sit up on my knees and reach for the hemline of her blouse. I pulled it up over her head to stare down at her perfectly toned stomach and ample breasts threatening to spill out of her bra. Her skin was flushed a pretty rose color as she laid there. I unclipped the front of her bra with a pounding heart.

I was so painfully aroused that I couldn’t even think straight. It felt too good. Way too good to stop, even though a rational part of my brain told me this wouldn’t be a good idea. Her breasts were perky and fuller than I remembered from that summer. Her light pink nipples were already hardened in arousal. I glanced up at Ava’s darkened eyes as she sucked in deep and frantic breaths. Not willing to give her the chance to regroup her thoughts, I dipped down to suck in a pink nipple between my lips.

Her reaction was instant. A sharp gasp left Ava’s lips while her back arched off the bed to push up against me, wanting even more. Her legs wound around my waist to pull me even closer. The tip of my cock pressed up against the fabric of those tight little capris pants she wore. I kneaded the liquid flesh of her breasts between my fingers while alternating kisses between the two of them.

I rubbed at her right hip sensually with my free hand before reaching for the button of her pants. Ava jerked beneath me as she propped herself up on her elbows. A war raged in her eyes as she looked down at me.

“Jude.”

She reached for my hand, but I batted it away impatiently. There was no way in hell I would let her back out now. Not when I was rock hard and aching to be with her. I slipped a hand down the front of her pants, despite her hand trying to pull it away. My fingers slipped down to the heat and slickness of her core. The sensation of it nearly had me ripping off her pants and my boxers. A shudder went through my body at the feeling of her around my fingers and my eyes rolled.

Ava’s head thumped back against the mattress in defeat. Her hips ground up against my hand while using my hips as a way to anchor herself against me. I found the bundle of nerves already throbbing with pleasure as I pressed the pad of my thumb against her. One of her hands cradled the back of my neck tightly as she stifled her moans with her other hand. Harder. Harder. I pressed harder because I wanted her to remember this peak. I wanted her to remember what it felt like to be with me. I wasn’t that shy boy that I had been back then. I knew my way around a woman’s body from years of experience.

Sweat gathered at her top lip. Her hips were jerking in time with my fingers, and I felt that sweet flesh start to pulsate with the beginning of an orgasm. Oh, yes. Fuck yes. I was going to make Ava come right here.

Knock. Knock. Knock.

“Hey, JJ.”

Cold water crashed over the both of us. My fingers stilled at the sound of Chuck’s voice on the other side of the door.

“We’re pulling up to a gas station to fill up,” Chuck said. “Just wondering if you and Ava need anything. Or if y’all want to get out, you know, stretch your legs.”

Damn it to hell, Chuck. You motherfucker.

Ava slapped her hands on my shoulders to push me back with surprising strength. She scrambled out from beneath me as she reached for her bra and shirt on the bed.

“Yes,” she squeaked out. “That would be great. I need some air and food.”

“Ava,” I started with a frustrated groan. “Come on. Don’t go.”

Ava shook her head at me with furious eyes. “You can’t just expect to kiss me and make everything between us peachy. It’s not ever going to be the same.”

“You can’t tell me that you don’t want me,” I growled and grabbed both her ankles.

I tugged her back down the mattress to grind myself against her again. I kept one eye trained on her expression to see if anything changed, and it did.

I watched as that tumult of desire to pull me close and to push me away warred over her. She went stiff beneath me.

“You can’t tell me that you don’t want this,” I whispered, rolling my hips against hers. I could feel how wet she was. The crotch of her pants slipped up and down over her skin. “Tell me that you don’t want me, and I’ll let you go. Tell me.”

Ava squeezed her eyes shut to hide her emotions. “You know how I feel about you. You’re not stupid, Jude.”

“You’re not stupid, either,” I said softly. I smoothed a hand through her hair. “Come on, Ava. It’s been years. I don’t know how many times I can say that I’m sorry.”

“That’s the thing, though,” she said and opened her eyes to gaze up at me. The bus came to a slow stop a few seconds later. “I do want you. Okay? But it won’t happen. It can’t happen.”

“Why, though?” I demanded hotly. “Why not?”

“Because I see my brother every single time I look at you.”

Those words cut straight through my heart. I didn’t even try to keep a grip on her as she slid out from beneath me to hurry out of the room. I sank down to the edge of the bed and felt the bus shift while they went into the gas station. I heard Chuck question gently if everything was okay but I couldn’t hear Ava’s terse response. It didn’t matter what I did anymore. I couldn’t fix what happened to Andy. I couldn’t mend the grief that tore Ava apart, but I couldn’t ignore the feelings I had for her, either. Andy knew how I felt about his sister. I had told him that summer after Ava and I had finally gone all the way for the first time.

“What’s going on with you and my sister?” Andy asked bluntly.

We were seated on the front porch of my house. Music thumped behind us in the living room. He had watched as Ava stopped halfway down the front porch steps to look back at me with a small and secretive smile that instantly made me want to follow her home. She had looped an arm through Emily’s before hurrying down the street to make curfew.

“Nothing,” I said, sipping my beer. “Why do you ask?”

Andy gave me a sharp look. “I’m not blind, man. I can see that the two of you are together. Why didn’t you tell me that you liked my sister?”

Not just liked. Loved. The word took me by surprise as I gazed over at the rest of the crew gathered around the front of the garage where our dirt bikes were at. Love. I loved Ava James, even though we were the complete opposite of one another. She softened my rough edges in the best ways. I wanted to spend most of my time curled up in her arms with her sweet kisses touching my lips.

“I don’t like her,” I said and looked back at Andy, who frowned at me. “I don’t know how to explain it, bro, but it’s not ‘like.’ It’s something deeper than that.”

“How deep?”

“Your sister is amazing. She’s beautiful. She’s smart. Do you want me to keep going?”

“I know all those traits,” Andy said. “You aren’t using her for sex, right?”

I shook my head at him. “No. Come on, man. I know what the bro code is here. I wouldn’t do that to Ava in the first place because you know too many secrets about me.”

A small grin tugged at Andy’s lips. “I suppose that I do.” Silence stretched between us before he turned to look back at me. “Just don’t break her heart, JJ. I don’t think my sister would be able to handle a broken heart.”

I rubbed at my head with a sigh. He was right. Ava could never come back from a broken heart, but I had time. I had plenty of time to figure this out because I needed Ava in my life. She kept me grounded then… and I prayed that she could ground me again.