Chapter 13

Jude

I was fucking Ava James for the first time in years. The thought seemed surreal through the haze of pleasure clouding my brain. I couldn’t think straight. I couldn’t think of anything besides the sweet, hot flesh that clenched around my throbbing cock. It was happening finally, after the past few weeks imagining what it would be like after all this time.

Fucking fantastic. It was the best damn sex I’d ever had in my entire life.

I forced my eyes open to take her in. Ava’s eyes were clenched shut while her forehead was furrowed in concentration. Perspiration beaded at her dark hairline. Her tits bounced in time with my thrusts while her fingers dug into my shoulders. Gasps escaped her lips steadily as she neared her climax again. The pressure of her inner muscles contracted around my throbbing dick and pushed me over into that abyss of pleasure.

My heart hammered wildly in my chest. Sated relief filled me. After all this time imagining how it would feel, I wasn’t disappointed in the least.

“Holy shit,” Ava whispered, chest heaving from the aftermath of her own pleasure. “I don’t remember that summer being like this at all.”

“To be fair,” I said and sat up, making quick work of the condom and tossing it into the trash bin next to the bed. “I wasn’t very experienced back then. Hell, I was fucking happy that a girl was touching me back then.”

Ava giggled breathlessly, and I collapsed into the bed next to her with a sated groan. My body tingled pleasantly while sleep tugged at my brain. It had been a long fucking day of practice and thinking about what to do with Ava. Now, she lay naked next to me in bed. It was funny how unexpected things like this happened.

I reached out to find her hand resting on top of her thigh. Threading our fingers together, I brought our joined hands up to kiss the back of her knuckles before settling comfortably into the sheets and pillows. Ava chewed on her bottom lip for a long time but she didn’t pull away like I had expected she would.

“What now?” she asked.

I forced my eyes open to stare at her in confusion. “What do you mean, what now?”

“Don’t you think we should talk about what we are going to do now?”

“No,” I responded, shutting my eyes. “I’m going to sleep. I have an early morning, so you should get some sleep, too.”

“Jude—”

“What do you want me to say, Ava?” I asked. Frustration boiled in me. “We just had sex. We’re both consenting adults. It’s not a foreign concept for people to enjoy sex with one another.”

“I’m well aware of that,” Ava said. “I just want to keep this as professional as possible. You know that we can’t ever be together. There’s too much damage on both ends.”

“Did it ever occur to you that maybe Andy would want us to move on with our lives?”

The question was met with pointed silence. I opened my eyes when I felt Ava’s fingers loosen through mine, but I refused to let her escape that easily. I held on firmly to tug her back into the bed. Tears were streaming from the corner of her eyes, and she shut them quickly to hide her emotions from me. It was hard sometimes to tell which one of us was the more damaged and dysfunctional. It ping-ponged between the two of us. A rational part of me agreed that a relationship would be too hard for me right now. My schedule was crazy enough without trying to fit in a girlfriend.

“Hey,” I murmured, reaching around to wipe those tears away with my thumbs. “I’m not saying that to be an ass. I’m saying it because I was close to Andy, too. He knew how I felt about you then.”

Ava sucked in a watery breath. “What did you tell him?”

“I told him that I really cared for you,” I said. “I told him that it wasn’t like the other girls. It was different with you. It still is different.”

“He accepted that?”

“He said as long as I didn’t break your heart, he wouldn’t break my neck.” She giggled quietly. “It’s been a few years, Ava. You need to let it go because Andy wouldn’t want you to linger.”

“I know,” she said. “It’s just so hard, Jude. You have no idea how heart-wrenching it is to see you out there.”

I traced the contours of Ava’s cheekbone with my fingers. I let the pads of my fingers dip down farther, past her soft petal lips to the valley of her breasts. Tracing her hardened nipple, I watched as her skin flushed with desire all over again. I slipped between her legs, relishing in the fact that she didn’t push me away. I nestled against the heat of her while resting my elbows alongside her face. The touch of her slick flesh against the tip of my cock was enough to harden me all over again.

“Open your eyes,” I coaxed. “I want to tell you something that I’ve never told a single person in my life—including everyone on my team.”

Ava opened her eyes to gaze up at me. Those forest-colored eyes were full of so many emotions it was impossible to decipher every single one of them.

“You’re telling me a secret?” she asked.

“Not a secret. Just something I’ve never said to anyone before.” I brushed a thumb up against her temple while gazing down at her. “I didn’t ride for a few months after Andy’s death. I was fucking terrified to get on a bike after watching what happened to him. That’s all I could think about for the rest of the summer.”

“It haunted you?”

“More than you probably believe,” I said. “It wasn’t until later that fall when I realized that I couldn’t let that fear scar me from what I felt passionate about. You were already gone by then. I just needed something to focus on, other than my dead best friend.”

“It wasn’t just you that I blamed, you know? I blamed my parents. I blamed them, and I even blamed Andy for it.” Tears filled her eyes again as she sucked in a watery breath. “I’m just scared to get close to you, Jude. I’m so scared that if I let myself feel for you again, something will happen.”

My heart soared to hear the confession. She was afraid of getting close because she didn’t want to lose me. I pressed a long and hard kiss against her mouth, pouring all my assurance into her the best that I could. My life was a series of dangerous events. I knew it. She knew it. I just wanted her to be there when all of it finally came to a standstill.

Ava kissed me back just as passionately. Our tongues tied together, and I didn’t waste any time sliding my cock between her legs again. There was no condom this time, and the feeling of having nothing between us was exquisite. It sent almost painful stabs of pleasure through me as I moved desperately against her, exploring the sensation. Her hands pushed at my shoulders frantically, but her thighs pulled me deeper.

“Yes,” she gasped, her eyes fluttering shut. “Jude. Condom.”

“Fuck that,” I grunted, planting my hands on the mattress next to her. “Can’t you feel that?”

Her fingernails cut into my shoulders. “Yes,” she agreed, eyes going into the back of her head.

I ground our hips together to silence her protests. There was no way I could wear a condom now that I knew how good it felt to be bare for the first time in my life. I slammed into her as another explosive orgasm came down upon me once more. The feeling of Ava’s tight walls clenching down on me, even tighter than before, tossed me right over the edge. Releasing inside of her pulled me closer than I imagined. I buried my fingers into Ava’s thick, luxurious hair that smelled sweet of shampoo.

There was no resisting now. We had tumbled over that edge together.

“You need to sleep,” Ava whispered when I settled into the bed next to her. “You have a big day tomorrow. I’ll sleep on the couch.”

Bone tired, I still managed to reach out to grab her retreating hand. I pulled her back into bed with me and curled an arm around her waist to pull her close to me.

“Stay here and sleep,” I said. “You don’t need to go running off now.”

“I wasn’t running away.”

“Yes, you were.” I yawned against the back of Ava’s head. “Did anyone ever tell you what a horrible liar you are sometimes?”

I didn’t even hear Ava’s response to that. A deep and dreamless sleep took over for the first time in my life. I couldn’t remember the last time I slept so peacefully, but I knew it had to do with the comfort of Ava’s legs wrapped around mine.

I woke to the sound of my phone ringing in the living room. I cursed inwardly as I gently moved away from Ava’s sleeping form, wishing that I could take in the sight of her, naked and peaceful in my hotel bed, a bit longer.

My phone was still in the same place where I had left it on the coffee table next to the pile of clothes on the floor. I glowered down at the caller ID before hitting the answer button.

“I told you not to fucking call me this morning,” I growled into the phone. “I knew that I had to get up.”

“Funny,” Chuck said cynically. “I was calling to tell you that the bus is empty. I have no idea where Ava went, but if she skipped out on this article, I swear—”

“Ava is with me,” I interjected coolly. “She came back to the hotel last night. I told her there was no need for her to be staying on that bus when she could stay here at the hotel on my card.”

“On your card? You know, JJ, as your manager, I feel like I should have another talk with you about letting a woman get close to you like this again. Who knows what sort of payout Ava is honestly expecting from you. I know you said she’s a good woman and that you know her, but it’s people like that you have to keep an eye on.”

“My family is the one I have to keep an eye out on,” I said.

“Pussy makes us blind, bro. I get it. Ava is beautiful and all, but still—”

“I’m getting in the shower right now. I’ll see you in an hour.”

I hung up before he could finish that sentence. Tossing the phone back onto the couch, I turned to find Ava standing in the doorframe of the bedroom with a blanket wrapped around her. Lust shot straight through me again as I took in her messy hair and pouting lips.

“Everything okay?” Ava asked.

“Peachy keen,” I replied and padded across the living room to gather her into my arms again. “I’d like to make the most out of this morning with you, but I have to get in the shower. A morning quickie isn’t off the table, though.”

Ava’s eyes widened at that. “I’m a bit—Jude!”

She shrieked in surprise when I yanked the blanket off her in one pull. Her shrieks turned into laughter when I swept her up into my arms to carry her into the shower. Fuck what Chuck was going to say. I knew who I could trust in the world. I had a short list of names, and Ava was at the top.