Chapter 26

Ava

Disbelief filtered through me. No matter how many times Jude insisted that he was going to stop riding, I never believed him. Not once. The Games meant everything to him. The Games was the biggest event of the year. Millions of dollars were at stake. Endorsement deals. There would be fans everywhere in the world wanting to watch Jude perform his stunts. He had his own line of merchandise to be officially released.

It was too much for him to give up because of me.

Jude stared down at me as he cradled the side of my cheek in his calloused palm. He waited for me to react to the news.

“I can’t let you do this,” I said, shaking my head. “It’s too much, Jude. I know how much all of this means to you.”

He kissed me deeply. “You mean more to me, okay?”

I didn’t know what to say as Jude took a step back from me. Pressing one last kiss to the back of my hand, he nodded to the front door.

“Go to bed,” he said. “We can talk more in the morning. I’m renting a hotel room across from the restaurant if you want to meet for coffee.”

I managed a nod because I didn’t trust my voice as I walked along the pathway to the front door. Finding the spare key beneath a pot of flowers, I unlocked the front door to step inside the dark foyer. I paused to look back over my shoulder as Jude waved goodbye to me before continuing on his way down the sidewalk in the direction of Main Street.

“Ava James.”

Lights clicked on from above. I shrieked in surprise at my father’s voice as I whirled around on the rug. My parents sat waiting on the bottom steps of the stairs. Their faces were stretched in visible disapproval as my father rose to lock the door behind me. My heart pounded furiously while I sucked in deep breaths to calm my racing heart. I felt like I was sixteen all over again.

“Let me explain,” I started as my father came to stand in front of me.

“What the hell is going on between the two of you?” he demanded. “I’ve been reading things in the papers that I hoped were just rumors. Now, here you are, sneaking out with the kid who killed your brother.”

I winced at the harshness in his voice while I mentally braced for a long argument. Andy’s death had to fall on someone’s shoulders—not his own. Jude happened to be the perfect target, even though I was there, too. I had tried to convince him not to go. I could’ve stopped it as easily as Jude.

“Jude didn’t kill Andy,” I said.

My mother’s eyes widened in shock. “You’re defending him now?”

“I am defending him,” I said, tilting my chin to meet their gazes as bravely as possible. “I’ve done a lot of thinking about this. None of us want to think that Andy could’ve done this to himself but he did. He drank before getting on that bike. We were all drinking that night. Jude tried to tell Andy not to do it but he wouldn’t listen to him. He didn’t want to listen to me, either.”

“I don’t understand,” my father said, shaking his head. “You told me—”

“I told you that Andy and Jude had been drinking because I was angry with both of them. It took me a long time to realize that I could be angry at Andy, too, for being stupid. Not just Jude for letting him.”

My father paced the foyer anxiously in front of me as he tightened the belt of his bathrobe around his waist. “Ava, this is Jude Jacobs that you are getting your heart tangled up with again. Look at him. I heard that he’s been drinking and partying on this tour. His father—”

“Jude is not like his father,” I argued, shaking my head. “He is not anything like his parents. He has done everything he can to make sure that he doesn’t end up like them.”

“He isn’t that way now, Ava. All of this can change over the years. Alcoholism and drug abuse.” My mother’s face contorted in disgust. “God only knows what sort of things that boy has caught over the years, being famous.”

“He hasn’t caught a damn thing! I know it because the entire time I’ve been with him, not once has he paid attention to any female fans.”

“What about the pool party in Austin then?” my mother asked cynically. “That was a fan, from what I read.”

I pinched the bridge of my nose in frustration because I didn’t know how to explain that entire situation to them without admitting that Jude and I had been intimate. On numerous occasions. I stared at both of their skeptical faces as I took in a deep breath. Honesty. I had to be honest with them if Jude was serious about giving up his career to be with me.

“Jude is giving everything up for me,” I said. “His career in motocross. Everything. He wants to give it up for me if I let him close enough.”

My father sighed in exasperation. “Men say things to get what they want from women. I’m just saying, Ava, that he might not be telling you the truth when he says that. It sounds convenient, after that article you wrote.”

“He came out here to tell me that he loves me.”

Those words didn’t settle well on their shoulders. I rubbed a hand over my face as I slid out of my shoes to nudge them alongside the front door.

“I’m going to bed,” I said. “Goodnight.”

I didn’t expect them to accept Jude quickly. Letting go of Andy’s personal possessions had been hard enough for them. I didn’t even know how to process a future with Jude. Our lives were the complete opposite and had been from day one. Nothing I said would ever make them understand the connection I felt deep down whenever Jude touched me.

The next morning, I heard the car door close from the driveway. I managed to slide out of bed in time to see that my father had hooked up the trailer to the back of the SUV. Andy’s old bed, dresser, and end tables were strapped down in the trailer. I watched as my father backed out of the driveway before slowly pulling the trailer down the street until he disappeared.

I slipped into a bathrobe before exiting my own room to push Andy’s door open. His room was completely bare, and when I opened the closet, his motocross gear was gone, along with the picture. My heart clenched as I took in the dusty blue walls that once had been filled with posters that every teenage boy had back then. Sports posters. Bands. It was all gone, and it hurt more than I anticipated it would.

Downstairs, I found my mother nursing a cup of coffee as she stared out the kitchen window with glossy eyes. I poured myself a cup before coming to stand behind her.

“Where’s Dad going?” I asked quietly. “I saw him with the trailer. I didn’t even hear him take any of that stuff down.”

“That’s because he did it last night after we all went to bed,” she replied distantly. “He thought it’d be best for me to not help with it.”

I rested my hand on her frail shoulder gently. “It’s hard, Mom, but you know that Andy would’ve wanted you to let go of him. It’s going to kill all of us with grief if we don’t.”

“You’re right, sweetheart.” She turned beneath my hand to gaze at me with a small smile. “We can’t blame anyone else for his death. I realize that.”

“I’m glad.”

“It still won’t be easy to accept your relationship with Jude, though,” she said. “He’s famous, Ava. The attention is more than you can stand. You’ve never been one for cameras and crowds. Are you sure that this is what you want to do?”

I looked down at the tiled floor to hide my doubts. No matter what Jude did, he had sealed himself as an iconic racer in the motocross field. Cameras were always going to follow him. He would always have fans who adored him.

“It’s just complicated between us,” I said. “I can’t even tell a straight answer because it’s up in the air. All I know is that he flew from Chicago to be here with me because of the article I wrote.”

“Did you mean what you wrote in that article?”

“Yes,” I said. “Every bit of it.”

“Honesty is the key to any great relationship. Your father and I have always been honest about how we feel, but it’s a matter of respecting each other’s differences, too. He wanted to get rid of Andy’s things for a long time, but I wanted to hold them close. He respected my decision but it brewed resentment. Be careful. That sort of thing can destroy a solid marriage.”

She turned back around to gaze out the kitchen window. I gathered my coffee cup to hurry upstairs and shower. As much as I didn’t want to think of it that way, my mother had a point. What could I honestly expect from Jude three years from now? He’d get restless. He’d want to ride. It was in his blood. He’d become unhappy and he’d look for the cause. What would he find? Me.

Those thoughts swirled through my head as I walked to Main Street. I spotted Jude standing outside of the restaurant with a group of young boys around him. Their smiles were vibrant as Jude crouched down to sign a few things for them. They all dashed away happily when Jude rose from his crouched position with a smile.

“Morning,” he said and pressed a long kiss to my lips. He tasted of coffee and toothpaste. It took all my strength to not collapse in his arms like I wanted to. “Ready for breakfast?”

“I’m actually not hungry,” I said, grimacing. “Food doesn’t sound good. Do you want to go for a walk to the quarry?”

Jude shrugged his shoulders. “Sure. I have to call Chuck along the way, though. He’s been blowing up my phone since I texted him last night.”

“What did you text him?”

“That I’m pulling out of the Games,” he replied, taking ahold of my hand. “I told him that I couldn’t risk losing you, so I’m pulling out. Permanently.”

We started down the dirt road in the direction of the quarry. The sound of bikes filled the air as we drew closer to it. Hot sunlight poured down upon us while we walked side by side.

“Jude, I’ve been thinking.”

“Hold on,” he said, scowling as he pulled out his phone from his pocket. “Let me take this from Chuck. It’s better to get it over with now.”

“Wait.”

Jude didn’t heed my warning. He hit the answer button. The sound of Chuck’s pissed voice filled the air around us, despite the call not being on speaker.

“What the fuck do you mean you’re pulling out of the Games? And for that bitch, of all reasons? What is wrong with you, JJ?”

“Nothing is wrong with me,” Jude said calmly. “I already told you. I made my decision. Money is not a big deal to me. I can’t do it anymore.”

“Ava put you up to this,” Chuck snarled into the phone. “I know it. I tried to warn that woman to leave you the fuck alone. These are endorsement deals. Major ones, JJ! Once in a lifetime deals. You are on the brink of breaking records here.”

“I’m aware of that. It’s not worth it to me if I’m sleeping by myself every night.”

“No woman should force you to give up your career.”

Those words slammed into my chest when Jude glanced at me. I looked across the flat land in the direction where trucks and jeeps were parked with trailers behind them. Dirt bikes revved in the distance. I continued walking along as Jude followed behind me.

“You can’t sue either one of us,” Jude snapped, holding the phone tightly to his ear. “No, that’s bullshit. Noncompliance? Fuck that. You’re making shit up to get your paycheck at the end of the damn day.”

“Jude,” I sighed, a headache pounding at my temples. “Just hang up the phone. We need to talk about this.”

He shook his head at me. “No. I know the contracts. You have nothing to sue me over. You can’t even sue Ava because there is no written agreement. You can drop me if you want. I can manage myself. None of my business ventures have anything to do with you in the first place. I’ll see you in court if you want to take that fucking route. Bastard.”

A dirt bike raced by us on the gravel road in the direction of town. I watched as Jude’s eyes followed the bike while he pocketed his phone. I recognized that longing in his eyes immediately. Resentment. It could kill relationships. I had watched the resentment between my parents grow over the years since Andy’s death. I didn’t want that to happen to Jude and me.

“I can’t let you do this,” I said. “I can’t let you give up your life for me. It’s too much.”