Chapter 31

Jude

I floated in and out of darkness for what felt like eternity. Voices echoed around me, along with horrified screams. Then, Ava’s voice in the background. Pain erupted inside me, no matter what limb I moved. Searing hot pain. The type of pain that instantly made my gut turn out of reflex. I had nothing left to puke out, either. I had clenched my eyes shut when the paramedics had rolled me onto a board. That was when I had wished for death to take me swiftly. Fuck it, if I was in front of millions of people. Death felt much better than that burning pain.

Darkness took me for a long time, then. The steady beep of machines filled my ears when I came back from the darkness. Warm blankets were draped over my legs. My head felt pleasantly fuzzy from whatever drugs I had been given throughout my time in unconsciousness. I didn’t feel anything. I was numb, and I liked it.

I forced my eyes open to take in the large hospital room I was in. There were several machines around me. Two IVs were taped to my right forearm and wrist. There were several patches attached to my chest and head. Pain shot through me hard when I reached up to touch my bandaged forehead.

“Fuck,” I said, wincing. I glanced down at the bandages around my arm. “Sprain. Broken bones. What else happened?”

The door to the hospital room opened. A young nurse stepped in and saw my eyes were open and looking around. She smiled at me as she came to my bedside.

“Good to see you awake, Mr. Jacobs,” she said. “How are you feeling?”

I ran a tongue along my fuzzy teeth. I needed water. My entire mouth and tongue felt cracked and parched.

“Torn between being drugged and completely fucked up,” I said. “I can move my neck.”

That little fact made my heart race with relief. I stared down at my leg that was also wrapped in bandages and elevated in a sling.

“What about my leg?” I asked. “Is it…”

“Bruised,” the nurse said, patting my arm. “Your shoulder is severely sprained but I will let the doctor come in and talk to you about your injuries. Do you remember what happened?”

My mind floated back to the arena where I had seen Ava in the crowd. I remembered that rush of emotions at the sight of her before realizing that my bike was tumbling forward. I dimly remembered hitting the ground and the sear of the bike engine against my right thigh. Voices. I remembered the screams. That was it. Everything after that moment was dark and muddy.

“I crashed on my bike,” I said. “That part, I remember. Everything after that is a bit dark.”

“I imagine. Your head got a good lashing inside that helmet of yours, but the helmet did its job. You’ve only been in a coma for two days.”

“A coma?”

“Yes,” she said, nodding. “Coma. You came in with a concussion, so the doctor thought it’d be best to keep you asleep until the swelling went down.”

I shifted against the pillows that were pushed against my back uncomfortably. My clothes were gone, too. I had nothing on me that was mine. I searched the room while the nurse added another bag of liquids to my IV drip.

“Do you have my phone?” I asked. “I need to make a couple of phone calls.”

I wanted to call Ava. Her face had flashed through my head through the entire incident. It was her voice that I heard in my head throughout the chaos of voices around me. I knew that she hadn’t been a figment of my imagination. She had shown up to the Games. I had seen her in the stands.

And she is probably flipping the fuck out over the crash. Guilt crushed my chest as I looked at the nurse who shook her head at me.

“I don’t have any of your possessions,” she said. “There is a female journalist outside in the ICU waiting room. She’s been camping out here for the past three days. I’m not sure if she knows you the way that she says she does, but—”

“Does she have dark hair?” I asked, heart pounding. The machine next to me started to beep at the increase. “Her name is Ava James, if that’s the same journalist I’m thinking of.”

“I’m not sure of her name. She arrived with a few other racers three days ago. She hasn’t left since but hospital procedure says we can’t let her in because she is technically press. We didn’t know her relationship to you, either.”

“Bring her in,” I said. “If she isn’t who I think it is, she can leave.”

The nurse nodded as she left the room. I scanned the room again for any sight of my personal possessions. I didn’t like the fact that my wallet and phone were gone. Wait, shit. My phone was in the quarry. I shook my head at myself. I had tossed the damn thing in the quarry back in Gypsum because I was pissed. No wonder everyone was confused about looking for my phone.

Before I could hit the nurse button to call her back, the door opened. Ava stepped into the room with the nurse directly behind her. Tears filled Ava’s eyes as she gazed at me. Relief. Fear. A variety of emotions filled her eyes as she slowly approached the foot of my bed.

The machines around me went nuts with my heart rate increasing. The nurse reached up to turn the noise level down as she looked at me. “Is this who you were thinking it is?”

“Yes,” I said thickly. “It is. Thank you.”

“Of course. I’ll give you some time alone, then.”

She shut the door quietly to give us privacy. Ava stood nervously at the edge of my bed as she twisted her press lanyard in her fingers. She looked like utter hell, like me, I imagined. Her dark hair was greasy. Mascara was smudged beneath her bloodshot eyes. Her clothes were also wrinkled.

“You look like shit,” I commented, which earned a small smile. “Have you even taken a shower since you’ve been here?”

“No,” she said, shaking her head. “I’ve been concerned about you. I haven’t slept anywhere besides that waiting room.”

“You didn’t have to do that. You could’ve gone back to Gypsum. I’m fine.”

“You’re not fine, though,” Ava said. Tears filled her eyes again. “How are you feeling? The crash—”

“I hurt like hell,” I interrupted her with a shake of my head. Pain washed over me again. “I think that’s rather obvious from all the drugs they are giving me in this drip. Where’s the button for it?”

“Button for what?”

“The drip,” I growled, lifting the blankets to look down at the top of my thigh. A green and yellow bruise peeked out from beneath the bandage. “Holy shit. My thigh is bruised. Did you see this shit?”

“Not up close and personal,” Ava said as she approached to lift the blanket. She lifted the tiny button hooked up to the machine. “Here. Make sure to use it sparingly. You don’t want to waste all the medicine when the pain is manageable.”

I clicked the button to fight the pain off, even though I knew she was right. I was already floating in a pleasurable numbness from the drugs. Just seeing Ava after everything that had happened was bringing out a whole new layer of fresh pain that had little do with the physical ones. She had shown up to the show after I left Gypsum in a haze of anger and darkness.

“What are you doing here?” I asked once the medicine washed over me. “You told me to go on my way, so I did. What are you doing here?”

“Are you going to be churlish with me?” Ava asked. “Because if you are, then I’m going to leave. I’m not going to fight with you after watching you nearly kill yourself out there, Jude.”

“I’m going to survive,” I said, shrugging my shoulders. “This isn’t the first time that I crashed, Ava. It’s a part of the sport.”

“Billy told me that he could smell alcohol on you,” she said. I looked away when her eyes burned into me. “I came all the way out to the Games to tell you that I love you, but you rewarded me with a crash because—”

“What did you just say?” I interrupted, gazing at her intently.

Ava shifted uncomfortably next to my bedside. She sucked in a deep breath before looking at me again.

“You heard me. I came out here to Chicago to tell you that I love you.”