Chapter 20

Ava

“JJ! Can I have your autograph?”

“How is your wrist?”

I trailed behind Jude, past the stream of media and fans waiting for us outside of the hotel in Vegas later that afternoon. I watched as Jude stopped to talk to a few younger fans in the crowd. Their faces lit up as he talked to them candidly while signing their photographs of him.

It made everything that much harder. It had occurred to me on the plane that injuries and the possibility of death weren’t even a deal breaker for someone like Jude. The entire accident yesterday had gathered more attention on him, but it was those young faces in the crowd who looked up to him that made my stomach twist into a million knots. Those young faces had no idea what those type of stunts could to do someone.

I walked past Jude to enter the hotel lobby where Chuck was watching the chaos unfold outside of the hotel as well. Our eyes clashed together as he gave me a long hard look.

“Try not to fuck with him tonight if you can,” he said darkly. “I’d rather not have a repeat of the other night.”

Cold anger skittered through me. I knew how Chuck looked at Jude—the young and vibrant man who could earn millions of dollars by just showing up to an event. That didn’t include anything else that Jude had planned.

“You mean, don’t mess with your money maker over there?” I asked coldly. “You realize that Jude is a human being beneath this blanket of fame he is currently under?”

“I’m aware of it,” Chuck responded smoothly. “Are you accusing me of something, Ms. James?”

The sliding glass doors opened before I could offer a reply to that. Jude walked into the hotel lobby in confident strides, flicking his sunglasses up to reveal icy blue eyes. He held out a hand for hotel keys.

“Much better this morning,” Chuck said, handing them to him. “You look clean cut and sober. Which is good, because we have some Las Vegas officials near the Starbucks in the lobby who want to speak with you about yesterday.”

“I figured that was going to happen,” Jude replied, handing a spare key to Chuck. “Take this one back to the desk. Ava is staying in my suite.”

My eyes widened along with Chuck’s, and he shot me a nasty glance. I opened my mouth to protest, but Jude didn’t give me a chance. He pressed a kiss against my lips before handing off his bags to the bellhop.

“I’ll be up in a little bit,” he said and handed me the key to his hotel suite. “Let’s get this over with, Chuck. I want to get some decent fucking sleep before tomorrow.”

“Maybe separate rooms would be a good idea,” Chuck suggested but he retreated at the dark glance Jude shot him. “Fine, fine. Let’s get this meeting over with. You have three interviews to get to after this.”

Cameras flashed in our direction. I glanced over to find a swarm of media outside of the windows, so I quickly took my bags up to Jude’s hotel suite with the bell hop. This suite was even bigger than the one back in Austin. The entire fourth floor was dedicated to its sprawling living room, master bedroom and bath, and a large kitchen with a dining room table.

I sat down at the dining room table and pulled out my computer to check through emails, while Jude and Chuck went through their day of interviews. Damage control was what I sensed from Chuck’s bad mood. Separate rooms did sound like a good idea, but I didn’t dare bring that up to Jude when he returned later that afternoon, visibly exhausted from all the camera attention.

“How about you and I hit the strip tonight?” he suggested, loosening the buttons of his shirt at his neck. “I could use some gambling to get relaxed for tomorrow night.”

He leaned in to press a quick kiss to my lips before retreating to the master bedroom. I closed my computer with a sigh. The draft I had sent off to Andrew had already been approved. They were going to edit a clip of it to do as a teaser in tomorrow’s paper. This was the last exhibition of the circuit before the Games, and I couldn’t be more relieved by it.

“I don’t think so,” I said, tucking my computer back into its carrying case. “I need some downtime from all this traveling. You can go if you want to, though. It’s your money.”

Jude appeared shirtless in the bedroom doorway then. I swallowed thickly at the sight of his muscular chest, covered in tattoos. His casual pants hung at his hips teasingly as he walked toward me with a frown.

“What is it?” he asked. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” I said quickly. “Nothing is wrong. I’m just tired.”

He twisted my chair around effortlessly to grab me, trapping me against my chair as he leaned down to look me straight in the eye. My heart pounded in my chest as his eyes narrowed at me in disbelief.

“Something isn’t right,” he commented. “You are a horrible liar, Ava. You can’t keep a straight face worth anything.”

Just tell him the truth, Ava. Tell him that you’re fucking terrified of losing him out there in the arena the way you lost Andy.

I reached up to cradle Jude’s shaven face in my hands. It didn’t feel right to ask him to give up the one thing that he’d worked his entire life for. He had poured everything into his career to get away from his family and to get as far away as possible from his past. I couldn’t ask him to give any of that up because I was afraid of losing him.

But I was afraid to watch it happen all over again.

Instead, I knew what I had to do. I had to leave after tonight. I had to publish what I wrote earlier, after flicking through articles about Jude all over the Internet to fulfill what I promised him. I didn’t want any of Jude’s money. I just wanted him, but his success would always keep a void between us. I didn’t want the two of us starting a relationship off with him giving up his successful career.

“Ava?” Jude’s hand was trailing down my cheek as he gazed down at me in concern. “What’s going on inside that pretty little head of yours?”

“Nothing,” I whispered. “Just kiss me.”

He didn’t hesitate to press his lips up against mine. A part of me rationalized that this was not a good idea. Walking away after this would make me the shitty asshole in the situation but I pushed those thoughts away to concentrate on the feeling of Jude’s lips gliding along mine in a deep kiss that sent shockwaves through me.

He tugged me out of the chair to wrap his arms around my waist. We walked backward blindly into the privacy of the bedroom, even though we had the entire suite to ourselves. I poured every ounce of my tumultuous emotions into those kisses while I pushed his pants and boxers down past his muscular thighs. I smoothed a hand up his thighs, relishing in the hard muscle that flexed against my touch.

I concentrated on the feeling of Jude’s hands brushing through my hair tenderly, before undressing me quickly as well. I shimmied out of my leggings and underwear while backing up to the large bed in the center of the room. His body brushed up against mine, and I gladly tangled myself around him as our kisses picked up with passion. I ran my hands down every square inch of Jude’s back to feel those hard muscles beneath his hot skin. I let my eyes close at the sensation of his erection sliding into me, deep and hard. I listened intently to every breath and moan that escaped Jude’s mouth as he bucked against me.

I didn’t want to forget it. I didn’t want to forget this incredible feeling of being so close to a man that every single female in the world wanted to be close to. I knew him, though. I knew how he enjoyed rough sex but also the foreplay. I stored all these intimate details in the back of my mind while I hooked my arms around Jude’s shoulders to pull him closer, to pull him deeper into me.

The new depth stoked something in me that I’d never felt before. It sent fiery sparks through my entire system. Jude adjusted his arms around me to cradle my head with his hand. His other hand slid beneath my right ass cheek to grip me there. He pulled all the way back to slam into me hard again. He ground his hips against mine before pulling back to do it again. He repeated it, over and over, until I was thrashing underneath him from the tumult of sensations going through me.

Tears filled my eyes. Not from pain. From the pleasure of it. Because I wanted him to stop before my heart burst open. Because I didn’t want him to stop as he took me higher and higher into a dark oblivion that I never wanted to come down from. This would be the last time we were together. I had to memorize everything that I could before tomorrow night, because I would be on a plane, flying back to Gypsum.

I only prayed that Jude would understand that I couldn’t sit idle in the arena for the rest of my life, watching him risk his life for a few more minutes of fame. Not after watching him crash to the ground. Not after what happened to Andy.