Chapter 23

Jude

Returning to Chicago for the Games was bitter. I booked a seat on a plane to fly back from Vegas to Chicago, just to avoid hearing Chuck chatter away about how he was right when it came Ava. I didn’t want to hear it because he wasn’t right about Ava.

An entire fucking week of nothing. No returned phone calls. No text messages. Her boss had no idea where she had gone exactly, judging from the phone call that Chuck had placed. I was half-tempted to file a missing person’s report on her because I had no idea where the fuck she had gone.

I had an idea, though. I just wasn’t going to chase after her this time. No, not this time. I had the Games to think about. I had to get prepared, no matter how tempting it was to fly all the way out to where I suspected she was—Gypsum.

Rubbing ointment over my wrist, I stared down at the garage where a few of my mechanics were doing their last-minute checks on everything. They were adjusting a few things around the engines on the spare bikes as well. The Games went on all day. It was always a good idea to have a few back-up bikes, in case of crashes. I had learned that the hard way years ago, when I showed up with one bike, crashed it, and then had to wrench on it quickly in between my time slots.

That would’ve made a good story in the article. Something about what a hard worker I was and all that bullshit. Ava clearly didn’t care about any of it. I still had no idea why I asked her to come along with me around the circuit. Sure, sex had been the main motivator behind all of it. I wanted another chance to get her in my bed but it was deeper than that. I wanted to prove to her that I wasn’t doing this to rub Andy’s death in her face. I felt that loss every time I got down on my bike to race around the arena.

I felt it every damn day. I sat down at my desk to rifle through the pile of fan mail that Chuck brought in the office weekly for us to sort through. I was halfway through reading a letter from a young kid in California when the door to my office opened.

“Courier brought this for you.” Chuck handed over a manila envelope to me. “It looks like it’s from Gypsum.”

I recognized Ava’s handwriting on the front of the envelope. I tore the top off to pull out a couple pages of paper. The article. I stared down at the typed words before looking up at Chuck in amazement.

“It’s from Ava,” I said. “It’s the article.”

Chuck immediately tried to grab it from me. “Let me read what she wrote. I have a feeling it has nothing to do with what we discussed.”

“I’ll read it first,” I snapped, pulling it away from his grasp. “Go down into the garage for a little bit.”

“JJ—”

“I said go away.”

He left my office with an irritated sigh. I sat the article down on the center of my cluttered desk. This was it. This was the answer to everything. It wasn’t a coincidence that this came in the mail before the Games could start.

I sucked in a deep breath through my nose before focusing on the words.

This wasn’t the article that I hoped to write about Jude Jacobs. To all of you, he is a supercross athlete, charming all of your children with his edge. He knows how to ride. He knows what he is doing when it comes to the arena. He is the definition of danger. He happens to be a man that many of you would love if you knew him personally.

He told me recently that the reason why he had gotten so good at riding was because of his father. I remember that little boy, years ago, running to my house on his bike so he could get away from the pain of his past. He could escape by going fast. I think he took that lesson to heart as he went through his life.

My brother Andy, who was close friends with Jude, died in a motocross accident. For a long time, I hated this sport. I hated Jude for doing the thing that killed my brother because I feared losing another person to it. I realize my hatred for this sport came from something else entirely and didn’t involve the man you see in this article.

I didn’t understand why he kept riding every single day. It felt like he was trying to escape my brother’s memory but now, I realize that the love he wanted from his family has come through his fans. He kept going forward because he could feel the love from all of you reading this. He might not know this but I believe that he deserves every bit of his success. I believe that he deserves the most love in the world. I had to abandon the tour to finish writing this article because of all the love I wanted to give him.

We come from a place called Gypsum, Kansas. It’s in the middle of the flat lands that all the tornados miss…

“Son of a bitch,” I whispered, shaking my head in disbelief. “Damn it, Ava. Why did you have to send this to me now?”

This wasn’t the piece that we had agreed upon. It wasn’t about me. It was about her feelings for me. I sensed it in her words as I scanned the rest of the article. She didn’t want to hold me back. She didn’t want to lose me, either. Grief circled both of our lives but she believed that every risk I took was well deserved.

Not anymore.

The risk wasn’t worth Ava. My life, maybe, but not Ava’s love. She was worth more than the fame and everything else that came with it. These words confirmed to me what I had long suspected and hoped she’d come to terms with. She loved me. We’d loved each other since the day Mrs. Parks had assigned Ava to be my English tutor.

I checked the address on the other side of the envelope to find it was Ava’s parents’ address. She had returned home, like I assumed she would if she hadn’t gone back to the city for work. I grabbed the article from my desk to glance at my wrist watch. I still had plenty of time to get to Gypsum.

“Where the hell are you going?” Chuck asked when I darted down the stairs into the garage. “What did the article say?”

“I’m going to Gypsum,” I said, handing the article over to Chuck. “I’m booking a flight. I’m going to fly out today.”

Chuck’s eyes widened in disbelief. “What? No, you can’t. The Games are in a few days. We don’t have time to waste.”

“This is not a waste of time,” I said firmly. “I’m going to Gypsum. I’ll be back in time for the Games.”

I left instructions with my team while Chuck stood at the door. I watched as he read the article quickly with a scowl tugging at his lips.

“This is trash,” he said, shaking his head. “We didn’t agree to this type of article. What the hell is she thinking?”

“The article isn’t just about me,” I said, grabbing it from him. “It’s about everything that happened to both of us. Let her publish this. It’s a good piece.”

“JJ—”

“Don’t start,” I said, holding up my hand. “She isn’t just a piece of ass, man. I love her. I know you don’t get it, but I love this woman.”

I pushed past Chuck to head out into the parking lot for my rental car. He followed behind me with an exasperated groan.

“This isn’t going to look good on your brand,” he said. “Think about what you’re doing here, JJ. Is she really worth all of this risk?”

I turned to look him straight in the eye as I pulled out my car keys. “Yes. I take risks every single day that could kill me. This is different, and I’m willing to take a different type of risk.”