Chapter 15

Jude

“I like it,” Chuck said happily. “I like it a lot. Don’t you, JJ?”

I didn’t even glance down at the typed draft that Ava had handed over to Chuck the next morning after staying in the bus all night. Ignoring my phone calls. Ignoring my text messages.

“I don’t care,” I said coldly. “Whatever the fuck you think, I guess. I don’t care.”

Ava cleared her throat. “I tried to include a good piece in there about your new product line. Once you get the website up, I can insert the link in the article. I’m sure your business will take off like your career.”

I couldn’t tell if that was a hidden insult, but I didn’t care, either. I stared moodily out at the passing scenery as we rode closer to Austin, Texas. We had stopped in some shithole town the previous night before to eat and rest. Ava had insisted on sleeping in the bunk because she needed the quiet to sleep and write. She just didn’t want to be close to me for whatever reason, after the amazing night we had spent together.

I was growing tired of this game. I lived on the thrill of games, too. Ava just knew how to play this one a bit better. For now. I knew what I could do to get underneath Ava’s skin.

“You should read this,” Chuck said, and he nudged me in the arm. “Fact check it. Make sure that everything is fine.”

I shrugged him away with an aggravated sigh. “I already told you. The woman knows me better than anyone else in the fucking world. I don’t care about the damn article anymore.”

The bus pulled up into a hotel parking lot as scheduled. An awkward silence hung as Ava slowly closed her laptop with downcast eyes.

“If you don’t care, then why is she here?” Chuck asked. “There’s no free rides here, if that’s what you’re trying to get at, JJ.”

I ran an aggravated hand over my face. The stubble of a beard poked my fingers. I needed a hot shower and a good shave.

“That’s not what I meant,” I snapped, rising from my spot across from Ava. “It’s fine. I’m sure. I just don’t want to read the article right now, is all.”

I didn’t even wait for the bus to come to a full stop when I pushed the door open to hop out into the hot Texas afternoon. A few excited screams caught my attention on the edge of the parking lot. I turned in their direction when I heard them call out my name eagerly.

“We love you, JJ!” one busty blonde cried out, waving at me. “We’re going to your show.”

I forced a smile on my face as I nodded to them. That was something I had gotten plenty of practice with over the years—faking a damn smile for people who wanted something from me. A photograph. A signed something. An opportunity to shake my hand like I was the best damn role model their kid could ever have. What was the world coming to if a parent thought I was a good role model for their kid?

Chuck caught up to me in the hotel lobby a few minutes later as I waited to be checked in. He pulled me off the side and out of sight of the fans. There were tons of them everywhere.

“I want to know if there is going to be a problem,” he hissed quietly. “If Ava is going to be an issue, I have no fucking problem leaving her ass here in Austin.”

“Don’t do that,” I snapped, shaking my head. “It’s fine. Don’t worry about it. I just need to get upstairs, have a drink, and just take a breather, is all.”

“I’ve never seen you like this, JJ. All the years that I’ve had you as my client, not once have you ever let someone sink into you the way that Ava is.”

I turned to look out the window at the tour bus where Ava remained. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. Where’s my hotel key?”

“There are four keys here,” Chuck said, handing me one with a frown. “Where’s the extra key coming from?”

“It’s for Ava,” I said. “You get to tell her that she has a hotel room for the night. No more sleeping on that damn bus. Lock her out if you have to.”

My suite was on the very top floor. A security guard stood outside my door, even though I didn’t find it comforting or necessary. Fighting had been the other skill set I developed in my youth. I could pummel anyone’s ass if they messed with me. It was that simple.

I tossed my bag onto the king-sized bed that I had no intention of sleeping in. I stalked up to the window that overlooked the hotel parking lot to watch as Chuck and Ava exchanged heated words down below in the parking lot. She threw up her hands in frustration as he locked the bus door.

She wanted heartbreak. The damn woman was stuck in a cycle of heartbreak. I was damn tired of letting the past control our future. That was why I poured every ounce of my life into my career. I thrived off the pain and thrill of moving forward into the unknown. There was only one place in the past that I would return to, but she was firm on keeping that door locked and closed.

I raided the minibar over the course of the next few hours, until there was nothing left besides empty bottles. My fingers tingled pleasantly as I wobbled out the door of my suite with the intention of raiding the bar down below in the hotel restaurant.

“JJ?”

I gritted my teeth in aggravation at the sound of Chuck’s voice floating down the hallway. Using the wall to steady myself, I turned to look back over my shoulder at him as he entered the hallway dressed in a robe.

“What the fuck are you doing?” he hissed, taking in my disheveled clothes and face. “Have you been drinking?”

“Don’t lecture me,” I replied, surly. “I can do whatever I want. Excuse me but I have to—”

“Hold on a minute! Where the hell are you going?”

“To the bar,” I snapped and pushed the elevator button. “I ran out of alcohol in my room, so I’m going to enjoy it down there.”

Chuck placed a hand on my shoulder. “Look, JJ, this isn’t a good idea. We have a big day tomorrow. Tons of press. More interviews. You can’t afford to look like a drunk douchebag.”

The elevator doors pinged open. I pushed Chuck’s hand off my shoulder and stepped inside. Hitting the lobby button, I ignored Chuck’s angry face.

“I already am a drunk douchebag,” I said. “That’s my image, remember?”

“No,” Chuck said flatly. “That isn’t your image, JJ. It’s—”

The doors slid shut. I rested my head up against the mirrored elevator wall and looked at myself through blurry and bloodshot eyes. My hair looked wild and sleepless. A shadow covered my jaw. There were dark circles underneath my eyes.

“Shit,” I grumbled, running a hand over my jaw. “I do look like a drunk tool bag.”

A crowd of people surrounded the bar when I entered the restaurant. I sat down on a barstool next to a group of young women and men in their early twenties. They all turned to look at me with wide eyes.

“Are you Jude Jackson? As in JJ?”

“Yep,” I said and motioned for the bartender to come forward. “Can I have a shot of whatever you have that is strong?”

“Sure thing, sir.”

“We’re going to your show here in Austin,” a blonde chick told me. “I think it’s great what you do up there.”

“Most people don’t think it’s great,” I replied, downing the shot without hesitation when the bartender set it down. “Another one, please. What are you all drinking? Give them whatever the fuck they want.”

The next few hours passed in a haze of beers and shots at the bar with a crowd surrounding me. I followed the group out to the poolside when the hotel staff and security told us that the restaurant was closed. I tossed a credit card at the hotel manager’s face when he tried to explain why none of us should be swimming so late.

“Put it on my bill,” I slurred, pulling my shirt off to a chorus of cheers behind me. “I don’t give a fuck if I drown. I won’t sue you. I can buy this damn hotel if I want to.”

“Mr. Jacobs—”

I kicked out of my pants to jump into the cool pool water without waiting to hear the rest of his reply. I surfaced with a relieved sigh, feeling the cool water against my hot skin. A pair of delicate hands grabbed my waist. I turned to find that same blonde from the bar, wrapping her arms around my body. A pair of hard tits pressed up against my back. Boob job. I didn’t bother hiding my displeasure, and I tried to loosen her hands from around my waist. She didn’t let up, though, and I fell back into the pool stairs.

My head spun wildly, and I felt her swim her way around to wrap her legs around my waist. She nestled against me while grinding suggestively.

“I like a little danger,” she whispered, nipping at my neck. “And you’re just bleeding the stuff.”

I put my hands on her thighs with every intention to push her the fuck away. I hated chicks like this. They were too easy. And they weren’t Ava.

“I’ve been trying to get him out of the pool,” the manager said from somewhere behind me. “They won’t leave. I know that you checked in with him so…”

I twisted around in the water to see Ava standing at the edge of the pool in a pair of sweat pants and a sleeping shirt with her feet bare. I squinted up to look up at her face, but it was too dark for me to see her expression. I shook my head, and instead of pushing the blonde away, I pulled her flush against me.

“Excuse me,” I snapped at her and the hotel manager. “I’m kind of busy over here. I said charge my credit card.”

“I can’t charge you for the pool,” the manager said, exasperated. He turned to look at Ava who looked away from me. “Please, just get him the fuck out of there. He’s going to drown.”

“Let him drown,” Ava said.

Those three little words stabbed through my chest. Ava stalked away from the pool with the hotel manager standing there with his hands in the air. He turned to glare at us.

“If you all don’t get the fuck out of this pool, I’m going to call the cops. Famous or not.”

I pushed the blonde away from me. She fell back into the pool with a shriek of surprise, followed by a chorus of laughter. I managed to find a towel hanging on the back of the chair to wrap around myself. I ignored the calls coming from the poolside patio as I found the door to the stairs. I used the stairs, tripping a few times, until I found Ava stalking down the second-floor hallway in the direction of her room. She slammed her door shut, unaware of me right behind her.

I reached her door and knocked on it loudly. “Ava. Let me in!”

The door jerked open a second later. I pushed it all the way open when she tried to crack it, and I stumbled into the room. Pain erupted in my head when I caught the edge of what felt like a dresser. The world seesawed beneath me, and I felt Ava’s hands helping me roll over onto my back.

“Can you get up, Jude?” she asked, voice strained with effort as she tried to lift me. “Please, get up. Get out of my room.”

I refused to get off the floor by rolling away from her with a groan. “I want you to tell me why you think I’m a bad person.”

“I don’t think you are,” she said, exasperated. “Do I need to call Chuck?”

“No. Fuck no. Don’t do that.”

I got up to my hands and knees and crawled forward until I felt the edge of the bed. Not caring that I was sopping wet still, I climbed up into the bed with a relieved sigh.

“You can’t stay here,” Ava said, her voice sharp. “Jude. What the fuck are you doing in here? You agreed to—”

“Keep it professional,” I monotoned, waving her away from me. “Don’t you know that I lied to you? I mean, it’s fucked up because you’re too good for me. You’ve always been too good for me. You don’t even look at me the way those chicks down there look at me.”

“You’re not a motocross god to me.”

“I know. That’s why you’re the best.”

“Let me get you some water,” she said. “You’re going to have a hangover tomorrow. That’s for sure.”

I rolled over to cuddle with a pillow that smelt of Ava’s shampoo. “Fine. That’s fine by me.”

Darkness took me, then. The world stopped tilting back and forth. I was out cold before Ava could return with water.