Chapter 33

Jude

I clicked the pain button again after telling one of my drivers to pick up Ava from the hospital to go to my townhome. I needed fresh clothes. I needed a long hot shower to wash the past couple of days away. I waited until the pain in my leg and arm faded away to a pleasant numbness before running my head over my exchange with Ava.

She had come all the way back to Chicago to apologize. To say that she loved me. She had spent the past three days in the hospital waiting room, terrified that I was never going to wake up again.

I found the remote for the television dangling off the side of the hospital bed. I clicked through the channels to ESPN. They were still doing a highlight reel from the Games. I settled against the pillows, watching images of me draped lifelessly on the board while paramedics carried me out of the arena. I didn’t remember any of that part. Fans were on the edge of their seats. There were camera flashes everywhere, which didn’t help my throbbing head.

Motocross star, Jude Jacobs, crashes after a stunt gone wrong. Rumors of alcohol and partying the night before.

I kept the sound muted as I watched the crowd in the arena stare down in horror while the staff of the arena rushed out to lift the bike away from me. My heart pounded as the television cut out to what appeared to be video footage from a fan. I had gripped the handlebars quickly when the bike started to fall away but the front wheel had dug into the dirt. I toppled down over the front of the bike on the side of the hill. I grimaced when my arm twisted around at a bad angle, followed by the bike landing on my thigh as I rolled down the hill.

There was a flurry of movement as the video cut out to commentators talking about it. Then, there were images of Chuck being placed in the back of the police car. His nose was bloody and swollen from where I had punched him in the face. I settled back with a smug grin as he shouted at the camera and policemen. A new headline appeared on the television, followed by a reporter talking outside of the hospital.

What is JJ going to do now?

“That’s a good question,” I said to the television before turning it off with a grimace. “I don’t know what I’m going to do.”

My career in motocross was over. I knew that it was. Every inch of my body ached, and coming back from this crash would not be like the other times. I no longer had a manager to deal with all the bad press. I knew the officials for the motocross sport were monitoring the news. I wouldn’t be surprised if they had already visited the hospital to confirm the toxicology reports.

The doors to my hospital room opened. Billy stepped inside as the nurse waited for me to nod in approval. She shut the door behind Billy to give us privacy again.

“Man,” Billy whistled, giving me a long look. “You look wrecked, bro. That was a bad fucking crash. You’re lucky to be alive.”

“No shit,” I said, laughing shortly. “I just watched the footage of it on the television. Looked pretty bad.”

“Take it from someone who was watching it in real time. It was fucking bad. I’m glad you’re okay, though.”

“I’ll be fine. Have any officials come by here that you know of?”

“Three of them did two days ago,” Billy said. “I mean, it’s all over the news that a few fans caught you drinking the night before. They asked all of us what we thought, but I didn’t say anything.”

I patted Billy on the hand as I clicked the pain button. Numbness washed over me again.

“You don’t have to lie for me,” I said. “It’s my fault for letting my demons get in the way of my game. Don’t worry about me.”

“You’re thinking they won’t let you race again?”

“They’d be stupid if they let me. Think about it.” I glanced down at my bruised thigh pointedly. “They don’t want to send a message to people that this is okay. You know?”

Billy nodded. “I suppose. What are you going to do now?”

“I’m not sure yet,” I said. “I don’t have a manager to navigate this for me but I’m actually okay with that for the first time in my life.”

“You have Ava here to help you,” Billy pointed out. He smiled when I let out an irritated sigh. “Look, bro. That woman loves you. She hasn’t left this damn hospital since you crashed. She’s smart. She cares about you. What else do you need to feel better about her?”

I rubbed at my bandaged head because Billy had a good point. Ava had everything that I wanted in a woman. It didn’t matter what I threatened her with. I’d chase her to the end of the earth if I had to. I knew that I would never be able to fully let go of Ava, just like she couldn’t let go of me. We were both entwined in each other’s souls. There was no escaping, even if we tried.

“I don’t need anything else,” I said. “Thanks for coming to see me, Billy.”

“You’re welcome. You’re one of the best. Don’t ever forget that.”

That was the problem, though. For the next three days, I waited for the doctor to clear me, with Ava by my side the entire time. Being the best at what I did had come at a horrible cost to my health and relationships. I still got sick every single time I saw the bruises on my thigh or looked up on the television to see my body being tangled in the bike. None of that was fucking worth it, now that I had a future with Ava at my side.

She was worth everything.

Getting discharged from the hospital was a huge relief. I hobbled out with a knee brace, a sprained shoulder, and a mild headache. The crisp fall air felt good on my skin after I showered with Ava’s help because I didn’t want anyone else to see me. My driver embraced me happily before helping Ava get me in the car.

“No paparazzi, right?” I asked, looking out the window for cameras. “Did they find another scandal to focus on?”

Ava slid into the passenger seat next to me. “They did. Plus, we led them to believe that you were coming out on the other side of the hospital.”

I took Ava’s hand in mine with a relieved smile. Billy was right. I had Ava to handle all this type of bullshit. For now, I wanted some peace and quiet with her. Thirty minutes later, my driver pulled up to the curb outside of my townhome. He helped me climb out and told Ava to text him when she needed to go to the pharmacy. That gave us a couple of hours alone together. Which was fine by me since Ava smelled like fresh vanilla and looked amazing with her dark luscious locks of hair tumbling about her.

“I have a nurse coming by to help you,” Ava said when the SUV pulled away from us. “I need to give her a call.”

I wrapped my only functioning arm around her shoulders. I drew her in for a kiss with a sly smile because this was the only medicine that I needed and wanted. We had catching up to do. Plenty of it, and I didn’t care how injured I was.

“I know one thing that a nurse can’t do that will make me feel better,” I said.