Chapter Thirty-Eight
" tried to kiss him and he pushed me away and told me not to," I said miserably. "He doesn't want me, Cece."
"Chica, you are so very wrong about that," she said handing me a steaming hot cup of coffee. "Drink this, you'll feel better."
"I don't know what's wrong with me," I said as I sipped. "Or him. What's wrong with him?"
"Well, he's had a pretty rough couple of weeks, I'd say," Cece said giving me a sympathetic look. "He's lost a friend, his father, his money, and then almost lost you. I'd say the guy probably deserves a bit of a break when it comes to making judgments about him right now."
"I know," I nodded. Cece was right that Ryan's life had been upended, but I couldn't understand how I could feel like he was so attracted to me and then be so wrong about it. "But I don't understand the mixed signals, Cece."
"He's a boy," she shrugged. "They can be idiots sometimes too."
"What do you mean?" I asked.
"Chica, you haven't had that much experience with men, have you?" she said sympathetically.
"No, but I've had enough!" I protested.
"Yes, but you haven't had the kind of experience I've had, have you?"
"No," I grumbled. "I haven't."
"Okay, then listen to me. Sometimes boys are idiots not because they're trying to be idiots, but because they simply can't help it," she said. "They want to do things, but then they get scared, so they run away."
"Is that what you think is happening?" I asked.
"I have no idea, but you know I'm gonna try to find out," she grinned. "It's my turn to watch for the next few hours, so I'm going to do my best to get to the bottom of this."
"If you can figure out what's going on, you're a better woman than I am," I said.
"Go home and get some rest," she said squeezing my shoulder before she pulled me into a big hug. "You haven't been sleeping much, have you?"
"No, but..." I began and then realized that there was no way I could explain my lack of sleep to her because I couldn't talk about the decision I was trying to make.
"Just go home for a few hours and try to sleep," she repeated. "You'll feel better if you do. I'll call you if anything changes."
"Thanks, Cece," I said.
"No hay nada, chica!" she grinned as she grabbed her coffee cup and headed into Ryan's room. I watched her hoping that she was right and that she'd figure out what was going on so that maybe Ryan and I could find a way to move forward together.
#
days later, Ryan walked through the front door of my apartment just as I was coming out of the shower.
"What are you doing here?" I squealed as I grabbed the towel I had wrapped around my body.
"That's a nice way to welcome me back from the dead," he grinned as he ran a hand through his hair and rubbed his jaw. "I hope there's still enough hot water for me to shower and shave."
"I don't know, I didn't know you were coming home," I said as I walked backwards toward the staircase. "Are you okay? Why didn't you tell us you were getting released today?"
"I wasn't supposed to be released, but I was sick and tired of the food," he half joked. "I signed myself out."
"Again? Don't you remember what happened the last time you did that?" I said warily.
"Yeah, but I know for a fact that you don't have a gun, so it's all good," he grinned as he walked toward the couch and collapsed.
"Are you sure you're okay?" I asked. "Let me get dressed and I'll make some food for us."
"Nah, I stopped downstairs and asked Mando to make us something," he said waving me off. "I hope you don't mind."
"Of course not. Why would I?" I asked as I quickly climbed the stairs and pulled on the cleanest pair of shorts and t-shirt I could find.
"Dunno," he mumbled. "I'm going to shower. Answer the door if Mando comes, will you?"
A half an hour later one of the busboys from Nemo's brought up enough food to keep us fed for a few days. I was dishing it up as Ryan emerged from the bathroom with nothing but a towel around his waist. My heart began beating a little faster as I looked at his bare muscled chest before turning my gaze upward to meet his bright amber stare.
"Food arrive?" he asked.
"Uh-huh," I nodded as I turned back to the plates and tried to decide if I needed to put more on them.
"Smells a hell of a lot better than that disgusting slop they served at the hospital," he said as he grabbed clothes out of the duffle bag he'd stored behind my couch and quickly pulled them on.
"Uh-huh," I nodded again as I kept my back turned toward him so I wouldn't see anything I wasn't supposed to.
"You okay, Echo?" he asked.
"Uh huh," I nodded as I waited for what seemed like an appropriate amount of time before turning back around. When I did, Ryan was standing right behind me and startled me, "Oh!"
"Forgot what it was like having me around, didn't you?" he said quietly as he reached around me and grabbed the plates. "Bring drinks, would you?"
"Uh huh," I nodded more vigorously feeling like an absolute idiot as I grabbed two beers out of the fridge and followed him to the balcony.