Chapter Seventeen
Matthew
Tuesday
I couldn't help myself; I was over the moon to have Ashlee around the office. Sure, things were a little stilted and awkward, and it was very clear that there were a lot of unsaid things flowing between us, but I felt that as time passed and we were forced to continue being around one another, that would simply go away.
I hoped as much, at any rate.
As soon as I saw that Ashlee had applied for the speech therapist position, I started phoning around, asking parents if they would like a free appointment to get them going, if they felt like their child needed any extra help. I knew it was a risk, wasting a paid staff member’s time on something that wouldn’t be earning the practice any money, but I had to introduce her services to the public somehow.
Plus, I wanted her to feel needed. I didn’t want her to think that I’d created the position just for her, however true that was. I was convinced that Ashlee’s charm and professionalism would have them back before long, anyway. I knew she would end up bringing in money, so I wasn't totally worried.
So far, it seemed to be going great. As soon as Ms. Jones came out with her four-year-old boy with a speech impediment, Timmy, I pulled her to one side and asked if she would consider coming to Ashlee again and paying a fee for the services, and she responded very enthusiastically.
She told me Ashlee was professional, caring, and very considerate, tailoring a course of exercises just for her boy. I was proud to hear that, excited to know that this might be a sustainable thing, so on a whim I headed out at lunch time to buy everyone food, something that I’d never done before.
I called the staff into the canteen, but only Terri and Ashlee came. The receptionist preferred to take her break alone anyway, chain smoking (a habit she knew I didn’t approve of) and speaking to her boyfriend on the phone, so I left her sandwich on her desk instead.
“So,” I asked, trying to keep the grin on my face despite the obvious tension in the room between Ashlee and Terri. “How is the new job treating you, Ashlee?”
“Really well, actually,” she replied, her face shining with happiness. “The kids I’ve seen so far have been great, really keen to do the exercises I’ve given them.
“In New York, I often had to deal with children who didn’t have any problems with their speech, but spoke in a way that their rich, neglectful parents didn’t consider ‘appropriate.’ That was honestly a nightmare. There wasn't anything that I could do with them, but I had to keep persevering regardless because they were earning the firm money.”
I couldn't picture Ashlee in New York, however hard I tried, and over the last few years, I’d attempted to do so many, many times. The city just seemed like a fast-paced, impersonal environment, and she was just the opposite of that. But she must have managed to make it work somehow; after all, she was there for ten years. I just couldn't imagine it suiting her.
“Yeah, well this isn’t New York,” I heard Terri reply bitchily. “This is a small-ass town with very little need for specialty treatments, so I wouldn’t get too used to your position here.”
I watched on in shock as she stood up, slammed the sandwich onto the table, and stormed out. I’d never seen Terri act like that before, and it was completely turning me away from her. I knew that she was going to be pissed when I cooled things off with her, but to speak to an innocent party in such an uncouth way was horrible to see. Embarrassing, too. I hoped that it wouldn’t put Ashlee off from working with me. I didn’t want to let her go now that I’d finally managed to win her back around somewhat.
“Wow,” I gasped in a stunned manner. “That was something else.”
“Oh, don’t worry,” she brushed it off quickly. “She doesn’t bother me, at all.”
I sighed audibly with relief, glad she was taking it so well, before turning the subject back to the matter at hand: her and how well she was doing at her job. I didn’t want to focus on Terri’s outburst. It could raise far too many questions that I didn’t really want to answer.
“Well, the kids seem to love you a lot, and their parents think that you’re the best thing in the world,” I grinned happily at her, glad to have some real, honest praise to give her.
I couldn't help feeling proud at all that she’d achieved. At one of the most difficult times in her life, when she’d just lost her father and everything she held dear, she went off to college, right across the country, and got the grades she needed to make a life for herself there. She could have quite easily fallen apart, that would have been completely understandable, but she didn’t. She held strong, and she got through it, carving out a very decent existence for herself. I had to admire that, even if it did take her away from me.
“Thank you,” she replied. As she sent me a smile, I started to get the impression she might just be warming up to me all over again. Maybe once she got to know me again, she would see I wasn't all bad. Yes, I’d done some stupid things and made some bad choices, but deep down, I meant well, and I was inherently a good person. “And thanks for lunch, too.”
Almost immediately, I wanted to invite her over for dinner, to spend the night with me, but I forced myself to stop because I knew that it would be a terrible idea. She wasn't ready for that again, and neither was I. To be able to even slightly make this work, we needed to take things a little slower, to work out what we meant to one another, before we dove in once more. Maybe we would figure out that all we could be was friends; maybe we couldn't even manage that. Of course, I wanted to drag her back into my bed and do all kinds of crazy things, but I couldn't. Not yet.
On top of the massive complications between us, there was still the huge issue that I hadn’t decided what to do about the money yet, and I knew for a fact that there were no major life changes I could facilitate until I had. Luckily, since no one knew, I could make that choice by myself, but the information had already been dropped that the winner lived in Florence, so there was a hushed tension hanging over the town, one where people weren’t quite sure where they stood.
My mind kept flickering with indecision, bolting between the choices, and until I was certain, that was how it would stay.
“Anyway,” she smiled at me, standing up. “I have to get back to work, but I’ll talk to you soon, okay?”
With that, she flounced from the room, taking my heart with her. A sadness crept through my body as I tried to accept just how difficult this was going to be for me, but by the time I got back to my own office, that had subsided slightly. I knew why I’d hired Ashlee, I knew the reasons why I was doing it; everything else was simply outside noise that I needed to do my best to ignore.
I pushed the door open, trying to get myself back into the mindset of work, but when I saw Terri standing there with her back to me, my heart sunk all over again. Terri had her own work to be getting on with, so why the hell couldn't she just do that? Why did she always have to be bothering me? What more could I say to her to make her understand? It wasn't like I hadn’t told her from the start that we were only hooking up.
“Terri, I have a lot to do,” I tried to tell her wearily, but almost the second those words left my lips, she spun around to face me with an ecstatic expression on her face. At first, I didn’t understand it, considering her attitude the last time I’d seen her, only a short while before, but then my eyes drifted down to the two items she was clutching tightly between her fingers...
My wallet and the lottery ticket. Fuck! This was about to get messy.
“Oh my God,” she squealed. “Why didn’t you tell me? And why are you so worried about work when you have a billion dollars coming your way soon?” She moved closer to me, wrapping her arms around my neck, and in my shocked state, I didn’t immediately throw her off. “This is going to be amazing; we can go on holiday, somewhere hot and sunny... Oh, we can swim with the dolphins! Then we can get a house together, start our lives. Can you imagine the sort of property we’ll be able to buy with this kind of money?”
Would this be what my life was like if I had the money? A never-ending nightmare of needy wannabes? Would I face a whole range of people creeping out of the woodwork, determined to get a piece of what I now had? I didn’t like that prospect at all. I wasn't sure how I would cope with the limelight, that wasn't me at all.
“Terri,” I said lightly, pulling her off me. “You and I will be doing nothing with the money.” I snatched the items from her before moving out of her reach. “Because there is no you and I, and there never has been.”
“But...” she started, looking dumbfounded, but I had no intention of letting her get a word in edgeways. I wasn't in the mood for one of her crazy rants right now.
“Yes, we’ve hooked up a few times, but that’s all it’s ever been. I made that very clear to you from the start and you said you understood.” I needed to be firm now, to make her see once and for all. There couldn't be any more beating around the bush. “I’m sorry if that upsets you now, but nothing’s changed just because you’ve seen some lottery ticket whilst snooping through my wallet.” I was pissed off about that, too, but I was choosing to pick my battles. “So, I think that you should get the hell out of my office, don’t you?”
“This is because of Ashlee, isn’t it?” Nastiness dripped off her tongue. “I knew she was going to be trouble for us the second I laid eyes on her damn face.”
“She was never going to be trouble for us, because there is no us,” I reiterated firmly. “Now, please will you just go?”
She shot me one more nasty look, before racing from the room, slamming my door loudly in the process. How the hell was I going to keep this a secret now?
Admittedly, I didn’t know much about Terri, apart from the way that she liked to be screwed, but I did know that a woman scorned wasn't something that you wanted – especially not if you had a secret this big to hide. Either way, it was likely to get out now; I just needed to decide what I was going to do with it. There were so many pros and cons that it was incredibly difficult to know what was best.