Chapter Nine
was laying on my stomach in the sand looking out over a small compound where dozens of men carrying assault rifles were gathered. They were speaking in a language I didn't understand, but somehow I knew what they were saying. Two men slowly walked toward the spot where I was hiding talking loudly and gesturing with their rifles. I sunk lower trying to avoid being seen and whispered softly to Opie that he should contact command and ask if we had backup.
When I didn't get a response I turned and found Opie digging a hole in the dirt with his bare hands. I looked back up and saw the men getting closer and closer. I signaled to Opie to call command, but he ignored me and continued digging. I could feel my heart racing as I yelled at Opie to call command to no avail.
Suddenly I was standing in the doorway of the concrete building where the hostages had been kept. I had no idea how I'd gotten here, but I could see Opie sitting next to me holding the radio and trying to call command. The air was full of the sound of bullets whizzing by our heads and I was firing my rifle toward the sound, but I couldn't see anyone. It was as if the bullets were coming out of thin air. I yelled at Opie to starting returning fire. When he didn't respond, I looked down to my right and saw him lying in a pool of blood that was slowly spreading out beneath him.
"Opie!" I shouted. "Opie, get up, man! Get up! I need your help here!"
His eyes fluttered and he raised his hand, then dropped it down on his chest and closed his eyes. I dropped my weapon and fell to my knees as I grabbed him by the edges of his flack jacket and shook him as I screamed for him to get up and fight.
Suddenly I felt hands on my head and I let go of Opie and grabbed the stranger by the wrists. He was screaming at me in a language I didn't understand as I yelled, "Speak English! Speak English, you son of a bitch!" I shook him as I yelled.
"Ryan! Ryan Powell! Wake up, Ryan!" a voice yelled as I shook the stranger and I emerged from my nightmare to find myself holding Echo by the wrists as she yelled my name and tried to loosen my grip. "Ryan! Wake up! It's me, Echo!"
"Huh? What the—?" I said as I let go and quickly pushed her away from me. "Oh God, Echo, I'm sorry."
"Ryan, what happened?" she asked her eyes full of concern and worry.
"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry." I chanted as I pulled my knees up and dropped my head down between them as I tried to get my bearings. "Echo, I'm sorry."
"Ryan, it's okay," she said softly as she put a hand on my head. I pushed her away and covered my head with my hands as I folded into myself trying to understand what had just happened. "Are you okay? Can I get you something? Water?"
"I'm fine. I'm fine. I'm fine," I repeated as if saying it would make it true. I was terrified by the dream, but even more worried that I'd hurt her. It took a few minutes of rocking to return my heart rate to a normal speed, and once I did, I looked up at her. "Are you okay?"
"I'm fine, you're strong, but not that strong," she smiled as she reached out and rested her hand on my cheek. I looked down, ashamed of my weakness. She continued. "You didn't do anything wrong, Ryan. You had a nightmare, and from what I can tell, it was a pretty rough one. Want to talk about it?"
"Not really," I said shaking my head. I wanted to tell her what had happened, but how do you explain watching your friend die after having been ripped in half by enemy bullets to someone who has never been in a war zone? And why should they have to live with the nightmare that is yours? "Just stuff from a mission that I'd rather forget. Don't worry, I'll clear out in the morning."
"Yeah, well, I'm not so sure you can do that," she said as she sat down next to me on the couch and held out her arms. "C'mere, put your head in my lap and relax. I'll stand watch."
I felt the tears welling up as I looked at her soft warm body and her earnest face offering me a place to hide. I wanted so badly to curl up in her arms and let her watch over me, but to want that felt weak. I was the protector. I was the soldier. How could this small beautiful woman protect me from the memory of my dead friend?
"Ryan," she said again. "It's okay, I'll keep you safe. I promise. I know the monsters."
Wearily, I lay down and rested my head in her lap and closed my eyes as she smoothed my hair and hummed a tune that I recognized but couldn't identify. She smelled like fresh laundry and warm sheets, and the softness of her body both comforted and aroused me. I turned on my side to hide the fact that her touch had made me grow stiff. It was bad enough that she'd witnessed my nightmare. I didn't need to expose myself any more than that.
"I'll pack up in the morning and find somewhere else to crash," I mumbled.
"Nonsense, you'll stay with me," she whispered as I thought I felt her bend forward and kiss my forehead as I drifted into a restless sleep where the nightmares were banished to the outer edges of my consciousness by a warm fire that burned brightly all night long.