I can’t help the small giggle that escapes me.

“Lunar, I don’t win Oscars for no reason. I’m good, I’m really good. Pretending to be in love with Danger is second nature to me, but trust me, that couldn’t be further from the truth. To be honest, I don’t have any feelings for him at all… I hardly even know him. Again, no offense, but he’s a little too cocky for me. So you have nothing to worry about. I have my eyes firmly set on another.”

Of course I’ve stretched the truth there a little for her benefit. I do like Danger. I think he’s a nice guy. Cocky… yes, arrogant… a little, but he’s nice enough.

“Nate?”

With a genuine smile that lights up my eyes I nod just thinking about him.

Lunar purses her lips. “I still don’t like you. Just being honest. I mean… fuck… you’re such a goddamn diva. I know you’re famous and an Oscar-winner, but tone down the drama, girl. Who the hell demands a straw with every fucking drink? That’s just weird—”

“Lunar!” Tillie chides.

With tears forming in my eyes, I try to blink them away but my bottom lip starts to quiver. Lunar turns her back to me and shrugs as Tillie pulls her eyebrows together but doesn’t say anything more.

Well, that hurt more than I thought—more than I would usually allow myself to feel.

I take a deep breath, spin around, and walk away from them both. As I step further away from them I find a back area hidden away from everyone but still within viewing range of the stage. Sitting down I wipe a stray tear from my cheek as I wrap my arms around myself in some sort of comfort. Someone sits down next to me. Forgetting she was even with me, I turn my head to see Mindy.

“Shit! Sorry, Mindy… forgot you were with me.”

“It’s okay, Ria. That was brutal… considering… umm… do you want me to go?”

Shaking my head, I turn to face her. “No. But I am sorry you had to witness that.”

“They were horrible to you. Are you okay?”

“I deserved it I suppose. Let’s face it, I can be a diva. I just hate that Nate’s friends despise me that much already. I might be an award winning actress, but what good is that if you have no social skills, Mindy?”

She frowns with a sigh. “You do have people skills. You just have to let them in… let them see Ria the woman, not Zaria, the actress. Let them see the Ria I know and love. You showed Ria to me… to Nate. Why not them?”

I shrug. “I don’t know, I wish I did. With some people it’s easier to let my guard down, others have me on edge straight away.”

“You’ve gotten where you needed to be in your public life by being Zaria. To get further, and have an ‘actual’ life…” she uses air quotes, “… I think you need to be Ria. You need to change your outlook and bring down those barriers that make you untouchable.”

Taking in a deep breath, I nod. “Maybe you’re right.”

“Quiet please,” the director interrupts our chat.

We both turn to look down at the stage and watch the four boys set up. Danger front and center with a vintage microphone, Ryan to his right and Matt to his left. Nate’s at the back on the drum kit twirling his sticks in his fingers. Smiling, I shake my head.

That look right there—him behind a giant kit, wearing a tight as fuck wife beater, ripped jeans and twirling his drum sticks—is probably the single sexiest thing I think I’ve ever seen.

“Action,” the director calls out.

The lights dim, illuminating the green screen behind them as they start playing to the music being piped in to them. They’re playing along with the soundtrack, but Danger is miming as the heavy beats from Nate’s drums reverb through the studio.

It sets me alight.

Seeing the guys performing, although not completely live, there’s something special about watching them all jamming together that makes me sit up taller and take a hell of a lot of notice. My eyes focus on Nate, the tension in his arms while his muscles contract and expand as he hits the snare drum makes me swallow hard. It makes me think that he has truly snared me in his grasp. A fire starts to crackle and burns through my core as I watch him move with an effortless ease around his kit. I never knew someone could make playing the drums looks so easy, but Nate makes it seem like it’s as simple as breathing—like he’s one with the metal and mylar.

My breathing becomes shallow as he continues the slow torturous rhythm. He’s playing what sounds like complex maneuvers on the kit, but he makes them seem flawless, easy, like the beats flow from his hands straight onto the skin with no effort or thought placed behind it. It’s a part of him, the music, the energy, everything moves through him giving me the positive vibes that he was born to do this.

Nate’s a true artist in every sense of the word. He’s talented in so many areas, I wish people could see his potential like I do. The man is gifted, and I sit here in utter awe of him right now, my panties soak through watching him in action. His movements, the way his muscles ripple and jerk with each beat, the way his face contorts with the heavier beats, it’s all strangely erotic. It reminds me of the faces he makes when he’s inside of me, and that’s making me throb even harder. I tense my thighs together to dull the ache between them and Mindy chuckles beside me.

“Guuurl… you’ve got it bad,” she whispers.

I turn to face her and open my eyes wide. “What?”

She smiles looking from me to Nate. “You are big time panting over him.”

Smiling, I roll my eyes and bump my shoulder into hers as she curls up her button nose at me and winks. “Don’t worry, I’m totes jelly that you’re banging him… Hey, do you think you can set me up with his twin?” she teases.

I attempt to hold in my laughter as I turn back to watch the guys finish their first take for the day.

Watching them move as a team is awesome. They work so well together and I can tell this song is going to do wonders for their careers.

They’re a great group of guys and I’m so glad Tillie came to see me about doing this with them.

 

***

 

The guys do their scene three times and then they wrap with all they need with the band. The director says we will now spend the rest of tomorrow filming Danger and me. I’m hoping Nate is in a good mood, good enough to cheer me up a little. Because right now, I’m feeling pretty low after the incident with Tillie and Lunar, even though seeing the guys perform has cheered me up some.

The guys head off stage and I wait for Lunar and Tillie to disappear before I make my move. Soon after, Mindy and I step off to see if I can find Nate. I want to make sure he’s okay seeing as Lunar so obviously isn’t.

I make my way to the band’s dressing room and when I walk in everyone is there—the band, the girls and their manager. Everyone is chatting jovially until they spot me, then all chatter stops and their eyes all turn to me giving away exactly what they think.

I swallow hard and plaster on a fake smile. “Hi, guys.”

“Hey,” Nate replies with a genuine smile as the others look at me like I’m definitely interfering in their space.

“So, today went well,” I say cheerfully.

“Yeah, the guys did great,” Lunar sneers.

I jolt back and screw up my face, while Nate glares at Lunar and she instantly frowns.

Swallowing hard, I nod. Feeling Luna’s intense unwelcoming vibe I turn around and march right back out of the room knowing that I’m not wanted in there, at all.

“Ria, wait,” Nate calls out as I chew on my bottom lip, clenching and unclenching my hands as I rush hurriedly down the hall.

“Ria!” Nate calls again as he hurries behind me and finally catches up. “Hey… slow down.”

“She hates me, Nate,” I snap at him.

“Maybe if you were more Ria and less Zaria she’d warm to you.”

“I tried! I really tried to talk to her, but she hates me. They all hate me. How can I be with you if all your people can’t stand to be near me?”

Nate reaches out grabbing my hand halting my pace and forces me to look at him. “Whoa… whoa… hey now. Why are you talking this way?”

“I told you… they… hate… me!”

“So you’re just going to throw us away before we’ve even begun? Without trying? I mean that little to you?”

Tears well in my eyes and I sag my shoulders. “Shit! No. I don’t know what I’m doing, Nate. People usually fall all over me. But not them. I don’t know how to make friends. Hell, I don’t really have very many. The only friends I have are people who want something from me.”

“Lunar’s just pissed because of Danger, don’t take it personally. She’s a jealous one and the others have only seen you at your worst. You gotta loosen up if you want them to like you.”

“You liked me as Zaria.”

“I saw right through you, but they don’t have their eyes open… yet.” He blows out a puff of air and continues, “Ria… please, try to be civil to them. For me. Especially to Lunar and Tillie? Just keep trying.”

My bottom lip quivers as I sniff. “Nate, I’m sorry.”

He pulls me to him wrapping himself around me, encompassing my body in his safe warmth. “Hey don’t be. This is hard on all of us. Just maybe try to be a little… I dunno, less…”

I can see he’s searching for a nice word so I finish for him, “Diva?”

He chuckles and nods. “Yeah, if possible. And no more talk of calling us off, okay? I’ve only just got you, I don’t want to lose you.”

I look up at him with a smile. “You’re sweet, you know that?”

“I try. How ‘bout we go back to your place, have some dinner and crash out.”

“Sounds great. Hopefully tomorrow I can start mending bridges. I sure am gonna try… for you but more so for me.”

“I’d give Lunar some time. Maybe start with Tillie, you’ve been riding her pretty damn hard.”

“I feel bad. I hate being that person now. I used to love the power trip that came with being a diva, but now knowing people are scared of you or think of you as some sort of prima donna… well, it’s just sad. I really think, now I’ve had time to reflect on it, my stepdad’s way of doing things is completely and utterly flawed. Wouldn’t you get your way from being nice to people, too?”

Nate sighs. “Yeah baby, you do. But I get what your stepdad was trying to do. Let’s face it, you don’t get as far if you’re too nice. However, I think your stepdad maybe took your training a little too far?”

“Urgh… fuck my life.”

Nate chuckles leaning in and gently pecks my lips. “You’re a stunning Oscar-winner with a sexy as fuck drummer boyfriend, you’re doing okay.”

“He is sexy as fuck, isn’t he?”

Nate smiles as I run my fingers up and down the back of his neck. “Okay miss… home, food, then bed. Maybe some kink if we’re not too tired.”

Laughing, I lean in kissing him and he kisses me back with a hell of a lot of passion.

 

NATE

 

After a great night with Ria and an even better morning, we arrive at the studio and walk in together holding hands. Suddenly, I remember I was going to have Ria go over the script with me, but we got a little distracted last night after dinner. Well, no, actually during dinner.

“Fuck,” I murmur as we walk down the hall.

“What?” Ria asks looking at me slightly concerned.

“I was gonna get you to run through the script with me last night, so I’d be prepared today. I kinda got lost in you last night and forgot.”

“Oh, sorry, well I can—”

“Zaria, you’re here. Great. Is there anything I can get you? Drink?” Tillie asks as she rushes up interrupting us.

I glance to Ria, and she smiles letting me know she’s remembered to be more herself today. “No thanks, Tillie. I’m good. But can I get you anything? You work really hard and if you need anything just let me know.”

Tillie scoffs. “Are you mocking me?”

Ria’s face turns to shock as I huff feeling Ria tense up beside me.

“No. I ah… sorry… never mind.” Ria lets my hand go and starts to walk off, her head hanging low.

“Ria, wait!”

“It’s fine, Nate. I have to go get ready anyway.” She scurries off and I snap my head back to Tillie who looks like a deer caught in the headlights.

“Oh my God, Nate. She wasn’t serious, was she?”

“Yes, Tillie. She’s trying, and you shoved it in her fucking face.”

Tillie’s hand flies to her mouth. “Oh God, I’m so sorry. I thought she was trying to be facetious. Oh shit, I’m such a bitch. I have to go make this right. I’m sorry, Nate.”

“Maybe let her go, Till. She’ll be in makeup now, and… fuck, I don’t know…” I swipe my hand through my hair. “She just wants you guys to like her. She’s trying, you know?”

Tillie brings her hands to her face and groans as I hear footsteps bounding down the hall. We both look up to see Ria walking toward us with a glass of water and a fucking straw. Tillie chews on her bottom lip as I look at Ria while she continues to step toward Tillie. I think for a split second she’s going to throw the glass of water over her, but she thrusts it forward to Tillie with a warm smile.

“I know I haven’t been the best person to get along with, but I want to make it up to you. One glass of water doesn’t begin to do that, but it is a gesture. Plus, straws make everything better…” She smiles. “Well, I think they do.”

Tillie tilting her head with a smile. “You got me a glass of water?”

“Sparkling, squeeze of lemon, three cubes of ice…” She giggles. “Trust me, you won’t go back. It’s so refreshing. Damn well peps you right up.”

Tillie reaches out and takes the glass with a smile. “Thank you… I haven’t had anyone… other than Ryan, bring me anything since I was a kid. So this is kinda nice. Thank you, Zaria.”

“You’re welcome.”

Tillie looks to the straw and grins then takes a sip. I smile at her while I watch realization flash in her eyes. “Wow! This is refreshing.”

“I know, right?”

“I can see why you like it so much.”

“It’s my go-to drink, always. Anyway, just wanted to say thank you… for everything you’ve done for me so far, Tillie. You’ve been amazing and I took that for granted.”

Tillie smiles as I rub gently up and down Ria’s back in a show of support.

“Well, thank you for doing this whole thing for the band. We appreciate you being here, and we love that you’ve found a friendship with Nate.”

Ria smiles up at me. “Me too. He’s been incredible at showing me what’s actually important. I owe him a lot already.”

“Gotta say Nate seems a little less grumpy these days, too. So somehow, I think you’re just as good for him.”

“Ria, we need you,” Mindy calls down the hall.

Ria nods and Tillie smiles at her.

“Thank you for making an effort, Zaria, it hasn’t gone unnoticed.”

“Thanks for being nice to me.”

Tillie sighs. “I’m sorry the others aren’t. We’ll work on them.”

“It’s not that they’re not being nice… they just don’t really bother to talk to me. Except, of course, for Lunar who talks but it’s more like quick stabs to the heart.” Ria giggles.

“Maybe try with them like you have with me. If this is the real you, Zaria, then they should meet you for you, not some diva you’re pretending to be for some reason I’m yet to fully understand?”

Ria sighs. “It’s complicated, but I want to tell you guys so you’ll understand why I’ve been this way.”

“That might help,” Tillie says.

“Riiiaaa!” Mindy yells.

“Okay, better go. Sorry I didn’t get to fill you in on the script, Nate. Talk to Lunar, ask her to tell you what’s coming today, okay? I don’t want you freaking out.”

I tense up at her words. “Is it that bad?”

She winces. “We’ll be in bed together… but remember it’s acting. It’s what I do, Nate. It’s not real.”

She leans up kissing me quickly and looks in my eyes. “I’ll be thinking of you the whole time.”

I lean in kissing her again, and then she’s off racing down the hall toward the dressing room.

“Well… that was a surprise,” Tillie says.

“Really? I’ve been telling you guys all along she’s not that ridiculous diva persona she portrays all the time. It shouldn’t be that surprising?”

“I guess not, it’s just the act seemed so damn real. But that vulnerable, normal girl I just met was lovely. I didn’t expect it. I’m sad I thought she was faking it. I feel like an asshole, Nate.”

“You’re not an asshole. People can’t see Ria for who she really is, and I hate that but I get it too. She puts up this façade that’s so strong and impenetrable. She’s such a good actress, that’s why people believe her.”

“The hard part’s going to be convincing Lunar to get on board.”

“Tell me about it. Anyway where is everyone?”

“They’re all in the viewing area, waiting. Wanna go?”

“Yeah, may as well. I’m sure today’s gonna be torture no matter when it starts.”

Tillie wraps her arm in mine as we walk off to the viewing area. I walk up the steps seeing Matt, Ryan and Lunar already there. Oliver is off to the side on his cell. As we walk up everyone looks over and smiles at us.

“Hey, it’s my girl,” Ryan says smiling at Tillie.

“I just had the coolest conversation with Zaria,” Tillie tells them making me bubble inside with pride.

“Let me guess… she’s possessed by the devil and just won the part of Regan in a remake of The Exorcist?” Lunar jabs.

“Hey,” I warn.

“Oh relax. I’m only joking… kinda,” Lunar says.

“Actually, she was really lovely. Showed me a different side to her. The side Nate’s been seeing, the real Zaria, I think,” Tillie says.

Lunar rolls her eyes. “She’s probably a master manipulator—”

“Lunar, look… I love you, you know that. I’d do anything for you. But please don’t talk about her like that. She’s not a manipulator, she’s the kindest, most warm-hearted woman I know. If you got over your jealousy and gave her a chance, I think you two could be good friends.”

“I might be jealous… I’m not gonna hide that fact from you guys… but she looks down on us, and I had just about enough of that when I was a club girl. People always thinking I was a worthless whore because of my title. I won’t let that happen again, Nate! Never again.”

“She doesn’t look down on you, Lunar. All she wants is for you to like her.”

“Yeah. Never gonna happen.”

“You should give her a chance, Lunar,” Tillie suggests.

Lunar raises her brow. “You really believe the story she was spinning you?”

“There was no story, Lunar, just genuine niceness. She was trying, I could tell. There’s more to her, more than we know… right Nate?”

“I think there’s more that I don’t even know. She’s had a rough life. Being a star isn’t easy, and having this life thrust upon you at such a young age never turns out well. It’s amazing that she’s still okay, to be honest.”

“Two broken winged birds soaring together,” Matt says and we all look at him as he chuckles to himself.

“How very poetic of you, Matthew,” Lunar chuckles.

“Yeah, I keep finding little doodles of doves drawn around the house. I figure it’s Nate’s thing at the moment… birds in particular.”

I smile and nod thinking of the canvas in my studio that still needs perfecting and finishing for Ria.

“Quiet please,” someone calls out and we all turn to see the hotel room lit just like yesterday, and Danger and Ria sitting in the middle of the bed. My heart leaps into my throat. I haven’t had a chance to talk to anyone about what’s going to happen today and I’m pretty uptight right now.

It’s okay to know it’s only acting but to watch it is something entirely different. It’s hard, harder than I could have imagined even though I know it’s not real.