My stomach flips, and I sink into my seat letting out a long breath, as I look down to the table in front of me.

“So, the art girl… you know her, don’t you?” Jaci asks, and I snap my head to her.

“What?”

Jaci smirks and sinks back into her seat while cocking her brow at me. She’s so stunningly beautiful, it’s hard not to be attracted to her. It’s just that she isn’t the right girl for me.

“You know that girl. That girl that left with the hot guy, right?”

“I… ah, yeah… we kinda did this internet dating thing together.”

She smirks, sitting forward in her seat and licks her lips. “Look at you opening up to me. You’re sad she hit it off with her date, and you didn’t?”

I furrow my brows. “What? No. We hit it off, this wasn’t a total disaster.”

“Wasn’t it?” she asks tilting her head. “Matt, I think you and I both know we’re leaving here alone and will probably never speak again. You’ve ignored me the whole night, too interested in someone else’s date, and you’ve told me I don’t meet your expectations. I know I did the wrong thing, and it made you switch off, but if you told me who you were from the start, it might have been different. I might have been better prepared.”

I huff. “And if I told you who I was you would have believed me?”

She exhales, looking up at the ceiling as if to ponder that thought. “I guess you have a point there… I’m so sorry this didn’t work out for us. I really like you, though. I’m sorry I ruined it for us. But if there is any consolation in this, I’m sure if the roles were reversed, and you met one of your idols you’d have reacted the same way.”

I exhale and take her hand again giving it a slight squeeze. “I’m sorry, too. About everything. I should’ve been more present here tonight. You deserve better.”

“I did, but at least we know now before we get too attached. It was amazing to meet you, Matt Levine. I can honestly say I’ll never forget this evening even if it was one-sided.” She stands, and I stand too, leaning in to embrace her. “Walk me to my car?”

I sigh. “I would. I really want to, but I can’t go through the restaurant. The public and all. It’s dangerous for them and me, we might get mobbed.”

“Of course…” she shakes her head and lets out a small giggle, “… for a second I forgot. Then I guess this is goodbye?”

I clasp both of her hands in mine. “It’s been a privilege, Jaci. You’ll make some lucky man very happy one day.”

She leans and kisses my cheek. “Think about what you want, Matt. I mean really think about it. You may already have the answer,” she says pulling back and grabbing her purse from the table.

Furrowing my brows, I shake my head. “What does that mean?”

“You’ll figure it out when you’re ready. Thank you for an… interesting night. Don’t worry, I won’t go telling anyone who I met on my date. You have my word.”

Looking in her eyes, I can tell she’s telling the truth. I may not know Jaci that well, but I know sincerity when I see it. “Appreciate that. And you don’t have to be a stranger… I mean it if you ever wanna come to a concert or anything just let me know.”

“I’m going to hold you to that.”

I chuckle. “I don’t want you walking to your car alone, though. I’ll send Dwayne to walk with you. Goodnight, Jaci.” I look over at Dwayne from Security and bob my head to let him know to come over.

“Goodbye, Matt.” She leans in embracing me again quickly and then turns walking out of the room with Dwayne following her.

It’s funny, I thought I’d feel something. Sadness. Loss. Remorse. But nothing. Other than maybe a slight relief. She exits, and I realize I’m left in the room with just Scott from my security detail and figure, once again, I really am alone.

This is me.

This is my life.

And this is probably how it will be for the foreseeable future.

Matt, the loner.

The waiter walks in, he looks around and gives me a soft smile.

“I’ll pay the bill now. Thanks for tonight, and if you could thank the owner for making this room available for Alex and me that would be great.”

He nods. “Of course, sir.” He steps off to the podium set up in the corner of the room to pick up a portable EFTPOS machine, bringing it over with the bill. I don’t bother to check, and he doesn’t bother to tell me. I simply hand him my card and he swipes it. I go through the motions feeling deflated, thinking about Alex and hoping she’s safe with Logan.

I wonder what they’re doing right now. They obviously left together all coupled up, and to be honest, I’m jealous. Not that she left with another man, but that her date went well and mine crashed and burned. Especially considering she didn’t really want to do this dating thing in the first place, and only went along with it to appease me.

But I guess if Logan is really the guy for Alex, who am I to stand in the way of her happiness.

Who am I kidding?

He’s not the guy for her.

I grunt, and the waiter looks at me creasing his brows as he hands me my card. “Sorry, long night,” I say, and he nods with a gentle tilt of his head while handing me my receipt.

“Well, we don’t close for a few hours, and neither of you had dessert, so if you feel like something sweet the room’s still available until eleven.”

I chuckle. “Thanks, good to know.” I pat his shoulder and turn seeing Dwayne walk back in, tilting my chin up to my security detail, and they both walk toward me. With a long sigh, we head to the back of the restaurant, walk out the back door and toward my car.

“Did you have a good night, Matt?” Dwayne asks, and I scoff.

“I tried, I did. Just wasn’t meant to be, Dwayne,” I reply as we continue toward the car.

“Oh, well, maybe better luck next time, hey?” he asks.

I nod as the other security dude in the detail, Scott, halts his tracks and puts his arm out stopping me from walking. I look up as he nods to Dwayne, who stops chatting to me and instantly tenses up. I look up from the ground I was peering at while scuffing my shoes, to see a figure leaning on the trunk of my car. My body tenses and my spine straightens. It’s dark, so we can’t make out the figure completely, but Scott pulls me back against the wall as Dwayne takes off toward the car full force. His protection mode instantly kicking into gear.

I go rigid wondering who would know I’m here, and how they knew that was the car I arrived in. Unless someone overheard Jaci saying something on her way out, and now a fan has come to find me? But surely she wouldn’t be that stupid… would she?

Dwayne rounds the car, his body in full protection mode as he approaches the dark figure. He steps up to the person, and I take in a deep lungful of air not realizing I was holding my breath. All my muscles tense while I watch him, wondering who the fuck that is and what game they’re playing at. I hate even more that it’s dark, and I can’t see anything other than an outline from where I am.

Sometimes being famous sucks. It’s times like these you realize fans are not always your best friend.

Dwayne steps up to the person, and his body relaxes while he looks back to us and shakes his head. “It’s fine, false alarm,” he calls back to Scott and I. Scott releases me, but stays by my side as we walk to the back of the car. I take a relieved breath wondering who the hell it is, and as I get closer, the moonlight shines on the figure of an obviously petite woman, then I look at her hair as the moonlight shines on it, and it’s clear as the aqua highlights shine through.

“Alex?” I call out, and she smiles.

“Matt, where’s Jaci?”

“Where’s Logan?” I ask, confused.

She jumps off the trunk of the car and steps up to me. “Uh-uh, you first. You guys were such a good match. Why is she not on your arm right now?” she asks, poking me in the ribs.

“Once she saw me, realized who I was, I knew she only cared about the fame. It was all over from then on. Sucks… but it is what it is. But that’s not the issue here, you walked out with his arm around your neck, you two were so cozy? I thought you were leaving together? Why are you here? At my car?”

“Oh Matthew, you’re so bad at reading body language. Logan and me, we’re friends. He’s a good egg and all, but eggs can sometimes turn rotten, you know what I mean?”

I cock my head and stifle a laugh. “So, you’re not into him?”

She bursts out laughing and shakes her head adamantly. “Oh, God no, he’s selfish, cocky and arrogant. Sure, he’s got a soft side, too, but the guy’s a complete fucking douche canoe. Good for a friend, but that’s about it. I could never go out with him. He’d drive me to commit homicidal, bat shit, balls to the wall, psychotic, murder. We’re talking Hannibal type shit here, Matt. The guy would make me crazy. A couple hours with him and I already feel manic.”

“Wow! That good, huh?” I ask, and she nods making me feel a little confused. It really seemed like they were getting along so well. Maybe she’s right, maybe I do read body language all wrong. “But you were laughing all night?”

“More like laughing at him than with him. Sure he was laughing too, but he knew we were only heading down a friend path, too. Once we figured that out, we relaxed, and had a fun night.”

“So, both our nights were a bust then?”

“Yep, and I didn’t even get any freaking dessert,” she says.

I raise my brow and glance back to the restaurant remembering the waiter’s words before I left. A thought springs to mind, and I say it before having time to think. “I didn’t have dessert with Jaci either. Wanna go back in, have dessert together, so the night’s not a total bust?”

Alex smiles so brightly it makes my stomach flip. She nods, and Dwayne and Scott both look at me with a smirk as I turn, walking with Alex back inside the restaurant. As we head into the beautifully made up room, I wonder what Alex is thinking. Is she thinking about Logan? Or is he not even entering her mind at all at this point? We walk in, and I’m not sure which table to sit at. I figure they had a better night than I did, so their table must have a better vibe than mine. With that thought, I lead her back to her original table. Alex takes her seat, and I sit in Logan’s chair as the waiter walks back in and his face lights up at seeing us.

“Oh, you’re both back, how lovely…” he pauses. “Dessert menu? Coffee?” he asks.

“Both please,” she replies, and he nods walking off to his podium to grab the menus.

“Are you gonna talk to Logan again?” I ask as the waiter places the menus in front of us. I take mine as does Alex, and we both grin at him as he walks off.

“I’ll probably keep in contact, but it will be a friends-only thing. Nothing romantic involved. I’ll probably go to him to get a tattoo, though. He’s really talented in that department. But enough about me, tonight was about you. She leaned in and kissed you, I saw it. To be honest, when that happened, I was like well, Matt doesn’t need me to be here anymore. I can go and leave him to be with Jaci on his own, and he can enjoy his night without worrying about me.”

“And you think I read body language all wrong.” I let out a bemused laugh. “No, she was kissing me because I was telling her that basically, it wasn’t going to work, but I’d give her concert tickets if she wanted to come.”

She explodes laughing and then quickly covers her mouth. “No way! You were holding hands and everything?”

I scoff. “So were you and douche canoe.”

“Yeah, only because he told me his brother died.”

I shrug. “We were holding hands ‘cause we were in a way breaking up, not that we were together, but you know what I mean,” I defend.

“Wow! We read each other’s dates so totally wrong, didn’t we?” She giggles glancing back at me. I nod and look into her big doe eyes, her lashes curl up as the dark eyeliner frames her eyes perfectly. The whites of her eyes glisten against the lighting from the chandelier, and you wouldn’t think something as simple as big doe eyes could be so beautiful. But as I sit here staring at her, the sheer sparkle and intensity staring back at me causes a shiver to run down my spine, and I take a deep breath.

“Are we ready to order dessert?” the waiter asks from beside me. I hadn’t even realized he was there until he spoke, breaking me from staring at Alex. She quickly averts her eyes from mine, and the connection is lost as we both look down to the menu.

I’m not sure what that was. It was weird. Clearly, I’ve had too much champagne?

“I need chocolate… lots of chocolate,” Alex says making me and the waiter chuckle.

“Well, I recommend the chocolate surprise, but it’s big enough for two.”

“I am a garbage guts and could probably eat the whole thing, but what d’ya say Matty Moo? Wanna go Dutch on some sort of chocolatey surprise?”

Chuckling, I nod closing my menu. “Sure, sounds great. And a cappuccino please, two sugars, extra foam.”

“Oh, yes, that sounds good. I want one of those too, please. Exactly the same,” Alex orders and I hand the waiter my menu then he walks away.

“So, disaster dates done and dusted. Dessert on the way. Tonight’s now looking up for the internet dating losers,” Alex says, and I let out a chuckle.

“Nice alliterations there Alex—”

“Why, thank you!”

“So, honestly, are you okay? Not too upset that it didn’t go well?” I ask, and she shrugs.

“I’m okay, I suppose, I’m more bummed for you. I know you wanted Jaci to be the right girl. Your perfect ten and all that. I hope you can find her. You deserve to be happy, Matt.”

I furrow my brows. “You do, too, though.”

She shrugs. “Meh, think I’ll go back to my humble apartment and keep to my simple life. I’m happy there.”

I gasp. “You’re not giving up, are you? Not after one set back? No, Alex, we have to get back on the horse. We have to try this again at least one more time.”

She screws up her face and snorts. “Seriously? I think one douche canoe is enough. Aren’t they all going to be like Logan?”

“Well, I’m on there, and I’m not like Logan... am I?”

Alex purses her lips. “Well, I suppose not. But you don’t tell the truth either. So I guess I have to expect a different kind of guy when I meet them on the internet.”

Sighing, I nod. She’s right. I guess I do lie on my profile. I have to, though, I can’t come right out and advertise who I am.

I guess me and Logan aren’t that dissimilar after all.

Fuck. I’m a douche canoe, too!

“Anyway, I guess what I’m saying is don’t give up just yet. Mister right is out there for you, Alex. Maybe going for the guy with tattoos and bad boy looks isn’t the right type of guy for you. Has that worked in the past?”

She lets out a stifled laugh. “Nope, definitely not.”

“Then change it up. Go for a guy that you wouldn’t normally go for… maybe?”

Alex nods. “Okay fine. But if I’m doing this once more, you are, too,” she demands.

“We’ll do it together again, okay?”

“Deal, on one condition…”

“Okaaay, name it.”

“In a couple of days the women’s shelter I stayed at is having this nighttime fundraiser thing, and I think it would be really cool if they had a big name come along. Ria was going to attend, but she’s too… umm, yeah… anyway, she can’t go. So maybe you could go in lieu? I know I’m asking a lot, but…” she trails off.

Swallowing hard, I want to ask more as to why Zaria can’t go. I want to think it’s because she is too messed up over my brother. That perhaps they can work it out and get their act in gear, but it’s what she didn’t say that sounded different like maybe there’s more to the story. I hope it’s not because she’s moved on already. Fucking hell, Nate will be devastated.

“Matt?” Alex asks making me realize I was lost in my own thoughts and hadn’t actually answered her.

“Shit. Sorry. Yes. Of course. That sounds like fun actually. What would I need to do? Anything official?”

“Nope, just come and hang out with me. Participate in the activities and talk to the women. That’s it. There might be some reporters there so you might need to tell Tillie you’re doing it, though.”

“Sure I’ll fill her in. Tillie and Oliver will be cool with it. Any publicity for the band is good, and I’ll make sure to do my duty to the band as well as the shelter while I’m there. Thanks for this, Alex, thanks for thinking of me. Why didn’t you ask Nate?”

She winces. “A lot of the women there know Ria, and they’ll probably be talking about her. Didn’t want to upset him even more, you know?”

“You’re good to him. Thank you. I do appreciate it.”

She snorts. “Ah well, someone’s gotta be nice to the moody bastard. He doesn’t always make it easy, but he’s a good man, just a tad broken right now. We can try to fix him, but he needs to want help in order to fully receive it, and all that jazz.”

“Yeah, he needs to try and calm himself down a bit. Remember to be… cool, calm, collected.”

She giggles. “You remind me of someone I know.”

“Do you think Jaci and Logan are bummed like we are?”

She purses her lips and exhales. “I think probably, yes. But they’re both great people in their own right. They’ll both find someone that’s perfect for them… we’re just too fucking awesome, that’s all,” she says with a giggle.

“No one can handle all the awesome up in here, right?” I wave my hand between us, and she laughs throwing her head back.

“Yes, exactly. See, you totally get me! Logan would have looked at me like I said something stupid then. Urgh… I hope the next guy is decent.”

“Yeah, I reckon you need to go for someone totally different, a nerdy type, a real gentleman, not a bad boy. Someone who’s gonna look after you properly.”

She tilts her head and raises her eyebrow. “Yeah, maybe. Step out of my comfort zone.”

“You should let me pick him,” I tell her, and she shakes her head adamantly.

“Um… no. You’d probably pick some weirdo just so you can laugh at me, you bitch,” she says making me chuckle.

“Did you call me a bitch?”

She nods. “Yes, wear the badge with pride, Matt. But no, seriously, you’re not picking my next Lovepessimist match. But you can, at least, help me look through them. I’ll let you do that, okay?”

“Okay deal! You can help me, too. I wanna try and find a girl in time to take to Danger and Lunar’s wedding in three months.”

“Oooh, that’s exciting, I love weddings.”

“Well, you never know, I might be able to wrangle you an invite.”

“Well, I might have to actually meet them first, you know… before I just invite myself to their wedding. I’ll be all like… hey, I just met you, and this is crazy, but here’s my number, invite me to your wedding, maybe?”

“You crack me up, and using a musical reference as a joke is why we will always be friends.”

She reaches out grabbing my hand, and unlike when Jaci touched me, when Alex’s skin touches mine I feel warm, I feel safe. Something about her feels like home. It’s strange.

“Hey, we will always be friends, no matter what. Even if there was no music left on earth, Matt.”

“Friends for life!”

She grins. “Yeah, boi!” she says all gangster like, pursing her lips and throwing her hands up in the rock and roll symbol.

I smirk as she rocks her head back and forth like she’s headbanging.

This chick! She certainly knows how to entertain!

Alex looks to me and stops her show with a heavy sigh. “Matt, you need to loosen up. I know there’s a guy in there who knows how to have fun, right?”

I jolt back a little. “I know how to have fun!”

She rolls her eyes. “Pfft… you always follow the rules. Fuck man, you have a set of rules for who your future missus should be. You never do anything exciting. I bet this internet dating thing is the most adventurous thing you’ve done in a while, right?”

I sit back in my chair and huff, because I know she’s right. I’m always trying to look after everyone else. Keep Nate in check, make sure the band is doing the right thing, looking after our interests, so in doing that I’m always making sure to follow the rules and keep everything on the straight and narrow. The craziest thing I’ve done lately would be to hire a hack Fung Shui master. But whatever, he’s awesome, and I love having him around—hack or not. I nod and swallow hard. “So what do you think I should do about that?”

She shrugs. “I dunno. All I’m saying is you’re too tense. Relax and let yourself live a little, Matt. You only live once, remember life’s short. Grab that bull by the horns and ride that mother like you mean it.”

I cringe. “I don’t think you should put ride and mother in the same sentence, Alex, that’s weird.”

She slaps my shoulder. “Matt made a funny,” she yells out toward Scott and Dwayne who both smirk as the waiter comes over with a giant platter and places it down on the table between us.

“One Chocolate Surprise. Your coffee will be out shortly,” he says. I smile and nod to him.

Alex looks at the plate grinning like the Cheshire cat. I look down and take it all in, not really knowing what it all is, but it looks awesome. There seems to be some kind of chocolate tart, some kind of mousse, some kind of ice cream, and a thing that looks a lot like dirt on the plate, with a whole bunch of cute flower looking stuff. It all looks pretty, and Alex picks up her spoon and digs straight into the tart taking a bite.

I sit back letting her enjoy it. Alex wanted this dessert, and even though I’m still hungry from having practically no dinner, I wanna watch her eat the chocolate. The spoon hits her lips and she takes it in slowly, her eyes close and she sinks into her chair as she begins to devour the mouthful she’s taken. Alex lets out a delightful moan, and my body instinctively shudders at the sexual undertones coming from her. Swallowing hard as I watch her in her delight, I shuffle slightly in my seat as my muscles clench from apprehension… tension… arousal?

Fuck! I have no idea what’s happening right now.

All I know is watching her enjoying the chocolate so immensely, and moaning like that, is not something I thought would affect me, but it has, and I shift uncomfortably in my seat as she swallows and slowly opens her eyes.

“Oh… my… God, Matt, you have to try this,” she says scooping her spoon into the tart and then shoving it right in my face.

I’m a little shocked that she’s offering for me to eat from her spoon, but we’re friends, and friends can eat from the same spoon… right?

“Eat it, bitch!” she says pushing the spoon to my lips, making me laugh. So I open my mouth and let her spoon slip inside. I taste the tart and now understand why she was moaning. It’s delicious, velvety and smooth. A perfect balance of bitter and sweet.

“Jesus, that’s amazing,” I murmur with my mouth still half-full.

She nods taking the spoon I just had in my mouth and putting it in hers, licking off the extras.

Fuck me!

Clearing my throat, I grab my spoon and start to eat along with her. “Hey, Alex…” She looks to me and raises her eyebrow. “Thanks for having dessert with me.”

She tilts her spoon toward me. “Hey feed me Taco Bell and chocolate, and I’ll have every meal with you. It can be our thing.”

“Okay, sure… Mexican and chocolate, that’s our thing.”

“We have a thing! Yay…”

“Yep, we have a thing. Although, technically, I think Mexican was kinda already our thing. With having Taco Bell, you cooking Mexican, and the breakfast burritos, we got that Mexican stuff wrapped right up.”

She nods. “True, we had a thing before we knew we had a thing.”

“How many times can we say thing tonight?”

“’Ain’t nothing but a thing,” she says clicking her fingers together and chuckling. “Okay, so what are we doing for the rest of the night?” she asks and I shrug as the waiter brings over our coffee.

“Movie night… back at yours?” I ask.

“Perfect, but first we must annihilate the chocolate.” She dips her spoon into the mousse, then places it in her mouth bringing it out empty with another deep, throaty moan.

Sweet baby Jesus!