NATE

TWO MONTHS LATER

 

I’ve been missing Ria like crazy and it’s now been three months since we officially broke up. I’m becoming more and more miserable resorting to Google alerts in my email just to gain some knowledge of her now. I’m kind of stalking Ria which I realize is sad but I don’t know how to stop it. I know I need to let her go, but I’m struggling. Even visits from Whisper aren’t helping. Sure, I realize he’s a quack, and his ju-ju doesn’t really aid in maintaining a cool, calm and collected environment, but he’s more of a friend now than anything else, and his cheery demeanor and stupidity usually perks me right up, but not lately. He kind of reminds me a bit of The Beatles and their time with the Marharishi, both absurd in their own way but hard to stop the foolishness when Whisper makes me laugh and see a different side to things.

I’ve been focusing on finishing off the dove canvas. I’ve been going through stages where I madly want to finish it for her, then I stop and figure if she wanted it she’d call, then I get my mojo back and start on it again. But now it’s finally done, packaged, and I’ve sent it to her house with a hand written—well as best I could—note. I’ve continued with my studies and I’ve become more proficient with writing and reading. I’m not sure how the painting will be received, or if she’ll even want it, but I told her I’d give it to her and I keep my word.

A Google alert comes through my computer as I take a sip of my morning coffee. I scroll through the tabloids but pull up when one makes my heart stop in my chest. The headline reads:

 

Zaria’s Mystery Baby Bump

 

RIA

 

I’m finally feeling better than I have in months. The first four were terrible, the last one wasn’t as bad, and now the Hyperemesis Gravidarum is easing off a fraction. The doctor told me it normally lasts for about twenty weeks and I’m almost up to that stage. Seeing as I was so sick, and Patrick’s production company went south, my professional career has all but dried up. So I’ve been looking into other avenues away from Hollywood. Even though acting was great, it forced me to be something and someone I don’t like. I’ll still do the occasional job, commercial or whatever, but for now I’m looking into teaching special needs.

I’m doing a course online through University and working through everything I need, with some help—the perks you get from being famous and all—so I can help those who need helping the most. Teaching is where I want to be, I want to help people who can’t read like Nate, people who have learning disabilities. I just want to teach people how to read and write. That’s my aim now, this is my life goal. I’ve achieved everything and more from Hollywood, now it’s time for me. If being with Nate taught me anything, it’s that my life has a greater purpose than acting. I’m meant to be helping, not performing.

The doorbell rings and I walk to the door as there seems to be a delivery of some kind I wasn’t expecting so security told me. Opening the door, the driver looks completely unimpressed and bored as I sign for the giant parcel.

“Thank you.”

He grunts and rushes off as I take it. It’s quite heavy and as I maneuver it past the door I exhale. Grabbing a corner I rip the brown paper and packaging to reveal the dove painting that Nate started all those months ago. Seeing it makes my heart flutter and the tears stream from my eyes while I stare at it in awe. It’s perfect, totally stunning, and everything I’d pictured. I’ve been following the success of his business through Alex, and I’m so happy and grateful that he’s doing all this on his own merits. I knew he’d do well.

A small card peeks out from the side. I pull it down turning it over to see neat but child-like handwriting and instantly I know it’s Nate’s.

 

 

My hand instinctively moves to my stomach and tears fall from my chin.

I’ve been so stupid.

I miss him.

I’m going to be forever linked to him.

He needs to know.

I can’t keep this a secret anymore.

Just because I’m scared doesn’t give me the right to block him out.

I love him and being apart from him has shown me that and now I need to show him. I just hope he can forgive me.

Racing to the table, I grab my keys and head out to my car sliding in as fast as I can. I’m not sure where he’ll be, but my first guess is the gallery, so I’m heading there.

I make quick work of getting there and park out the back so I don’t draw attention—my security team are parked behind me, they know to keep a safe distance. I race down the same alleyway he took me down all those months ago and burst through the door.

“Nate,” I call out.

Alex turns to see me and frowns.

“He’s in the studio… drowning,” she says.

I furrow my brows and nod walking quickly toward the back studio. Opening the door I walk in to see him slouched over a bottle of whiskey. I wince at the same time my heart rejoices at seeing him for the first time in three months.

“Nate,” I whisper. His head slowly moves up and looks at me, then to my stomach.

Oh God, he knows!

My hand instinctively moves to my tummy and he draws his eyebrows together in a frown. Not the reaction I was after. I exhale as he slumps his body.

“It’s not mine is it?” he asks so softly I can barely hear him.

“What?”

“The baby… it’s not mine?”

I jolt my head back and gasp. “Is that what you think?”

“That’s why you broke up with me because you’re having someone else’s baby, right?”

I’m not sure whether to be horrified or relieved. “Nate, I’ve only been with you. And for a long time before you, I was with no one. I only want to be with you...” I feel tears forming but blink them away. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. I found out for sure the day of the re-filming and then I freaked out when you were acting jealous. I thought if you got so worked up over that, if I told you about the baby, you’d completely lose it. I was also concerned about how you would react with me filming those sort of scenes from then on. The way you reacted… I just didn’t want to put you through that pain every time I was doing a love scene. It’s not fair on you.” He goes to say something but I stop him and continue, “I also didn’t want you to give up your life for the baby and me. I didn’t want you to stop painting or stop playing your music for us… so I broke it off instead. I became my mother and bailed when it got too hard, and it was the worst decision of my life, Nate. But at the same time it’s made me realize that… I love you. We’re having a baby together so, we need to be together. I need you, Nate… if you’ll still have me. Please… take me back, I’ve been so stupid.”

He sits there just staring at me. I’m not sure if he’s actually heard anything I’ve said or if he’s completely zoned out.

“Nate?”

He puts his finger up as if to halt me, then stands up and walks over to me. He looks down at my stomach and places his hand on my belly tenderly caressing. “The dizziness, fainting, puking on tour?”

“Morning sickness,” I clarify.

He nods and exhales. “We’d been careful?”

“Not the very first time,” I remind him.

He stifles a laugh and nods.

I was pretty shocked when my scans revealed our first time together was more than likely our conception date too.

“You love me?” he asks.

Smiling wide, bringing my hand up to caress his face, I nod. “So much.”

His body visibly relaxes. “I love you too, baby, and I wish you’d told me about this sooner. I could’ve been here for you… been to your appointments. I want to be here for everything, Ria, everything.”

I nod and smile. “Alex said you’d say that.”

“She’s a smart girl.”

“She is. I should probably tell you I had Hyperemesis Gravidarum in the first trimester.”

He furrows his brows pulling me to him and flares his nostrils. “That sounds serious. Are you both okay?” he asks running his hands up and down my arms.

“I’m fine… now.”

He looks me up and down and winces. “Ria, you’ve lost weight. You have a bump, but your arms, your face, you’re overall much thinner. Baby, what was wrong?”

I wrap my arms around his neck and look into his eyes. “It’s okay, it was just really severe morning sickness. The doctors have it under control now.”

His face falls. “Ria, why didn’t you call me? You know I would’ve been there for you, helping you any way I could have.”

Half-smiling, I thread my fingers through his hair. “I know that now, and I’m sorry I didn’t come to my senses sooner. I stupidly shut you out.”

He pulls me to him and holds me tight. Feeling his warm body pressed against mine is sending a fire burning inside my very soul. I’ve needed him more than I thought.

“Jesus Ria, if I’d have known…” he pauses to take a breath, “…if I had any idea at all you were so ill, I would have been there. You know that, right?”

I pull back looking into his watering eyes. “I know. Don’t worry, I know. Alex was there. She helped a lot. She’s amazing.”

He exhales and nods. “She really is but that’s not the point. You know I’m not letting you out of my sight now?”

Smiling, I nod. “Good, but this will really test us. This is a super new relationship and we’re throwing a baby into the mix.”

“Ria, there’s more than just a baby here, we have so much… so fucking much to talk about.”

I slump my body and gnaw on my bottom lip with a nod. “I know… I’m such an idiot for letting this go on for so long, I should’ve never shut you out. I should’ve trusted you’d be able to handle this.”

His entire body sags and he looks to the floor. “I have to admit it hurts that you’d think I wouldn’t be there for you. Did you think I wouldn’t find out…” He scrubs his hand through his hair. “I just don’t get it, Ria. We were happy. Even then I loved you. I would have jumped for joy if you’d have told me, baby. I would have come to all your appointments, held your hair while you puked... Fuck! Ria, I would’ve painted the nursery for our child. You have to know that, right?”

Tightness forms in my chest as I let out a small sob. “I’m so sorry, Nate. I was unwell. The stress of the tour and my family got to me, and I thought that throwing a baby into our relationship would be bad for you. You’re just starting to get on track… your art, your music… everything’s heading in the right direction for you. I really felt like you didn’t need the added stresses of being bogged down in the family way.”

He grunts and shakes his head. “Are you kidding, Ria? Fuck the music! Fuck the gallery! I’d burn the world to the ground if it meant I’d be left standing with you and our family.” His forehead creases. “Ria, you’re it for me. You were since the moment you strutted into the boardroom demanding lemon water with a fucking straw…” Nate smiles, and his eyes twinkle with love and understanding. “You, me, little nugget in there… you two are my world.”

He moves in pressing his open palm to my stomach and butterflies flurry right through my very existence. He knows, he finally knows and he’s being so amazingly good about it all.

Why the hell did I wait?

I sniff and step up throwing my arms around his neck, taking him into an embrace. His body shifts against mine and we hold each other so tightly, I can feel every inch of him. “I love you, Nate. I can’t apologize enough for not telling you. I just want and pray that you never leave my side again.”

He pulls back and nods, places a strand of hair behind my ear and then caresses my cheek. “Ria, you and our little… boy? Girl?” he asks.

“I’m not sure yet,” I tell him.

He smiles like he’s so happy I didn’t find out without him. “Okay, you and our little nugget are all I need. I don’t want to spend any more time away from you, especially since you’ve been so ill. I don’t want to be one of those dads who isn’t there for every single part of their child’s development. I know what it’s like not having a parent, you do, too. Our kid’s not having that, not ever. You with me?” he asks, and it fills me with such joy that tears flood my eyes and spill over as I nod. My bottom lip trembles and I blurt it out before I even have time to think it through.

“Nate, move in with me,” I ask.

He smiles resting his forehead on mine with a sigh. “I was hoping you’d say that. This house is much better for a family than you moving in with Matt and me. Plus, I’m not sure Matt could handle a screaming nugget.”

“Can you handle a screaming nugget?” I chuckle.

He cuddles me a little closer. “Baby, when it’s a part of you and a part of me... this will be the best nugget the world has ever seen. Talk about celebrity babies, hey.”

I smirk. “Wow! The world doesn’t even know we’re a couple, and now they’re gonna know we’re not only together but having a child. Talk about instant headline news.”

Nate raises his brows and nods. “I’ll get Tillie drafting up a press release… if you’re ready to come out of the closet with me?”

“I want the world to know you’re mine, Nate Levine, and that we’re madly in love…” she trails off and then continues, “… but… there’s probably one person we need to tell before the world knows.”

He tenses up and looks in my eyes with a nod. “Your Mom?”

“Mmm… Mom knowing we’re together should be fun times. Her knowing why I’ve been so sick… yeah, this is going to be a shit storm.”

He pulls me close looking into my eyes. “Honestly, with all the shit we’ve been through, we can get through this little hurdle. There’s nothing a dove and clown fish can’t accomplish together, right?”

I giggle. “So true.”