Going home was hard, but necessary. I couldn’t have been in that restaurant any longer listening to all his truths, truths he had hidden from my life. Escaping from it all—that was a choice I had to make. The moment I got home and locked my door, he was there knocking on it. Pretending to not hear him, I sat on my couch waiting for it to stop. It didn’t, and I ended up falling asleep listening to his fists on the door.

It’s morning now, and as I’m leaving to get coffee, he’s there when I open the door. He’s dressed in a different suit but he looks tired as hell. His violet eyes are gray and hold circles under them.

“I told you not to run, Milanka.”

I step out and shut the door behind me making him back up so I can. Then I start walking out the front and onto the street, he follows me and eventually matches me step for step.

“I didn’t run, Connick. Instead, I chose to walk away.”

His hand comes around my waist, he grips me, turning me in his arms and pulling me to him, so our bodies are flush. Keeping my hands to my sides, I try to not touch him at all.

“Don’t choose it, Milanka. I didn’t run, did I? And I know all.” Shaking my head at his words he continues, “You and I… we’re damaged… beyond repair. Yet somehow, some way, our damage matches and latches on. So, don’t run.” Connick’s voice is softer, and his eyes hold the truth, but how much of his secrets can he hold. His mouth is coming down, it’s like he’s about to kiss me and he’s scared of me more than any of his words.

“Don’t,” I whisper, my eyes on his lips.

“I wouldn’t.” Nodding my head, I smile a small smile, “Tell me something, though. Why?”

“You don’t know? You seem to know everything else.” My voice is mocking, but his hands and eyes don’t change. He wants to know why. “They were all stolen. Each and every kiss. It’s the one thing, no matter my sins, that I won’t give away. They’re mine.”

“Coffee?” he asks, pulling me with him as he nods his head as a reply.

I smile, and that’s all he needs. He keeps his hand on my waist while we walk into the coffee shop, the same one where I met him.

“What are you to me?” I ask him as he orders our coffee and we walk to take a seat.

“What do you want me to be?” He’s always so serious, I wonder if one day he’ll be playful with me.

“I don’t even know.”

“Let’s leave it at that. You want me. I want you. Two people filling each other’s needs.”

“Are you using me for sex?” I ask him.

“No, and one day you will be sleeping over, for a full night without running out in the morning.”

“Running is all I’ve ever done.”

His hand comes down on my thigh. “Let’s break our barriers together.”

He goes on to tell me that Cherry wants to invite me to her girl’s night. She’s getting married, and having a bachelorette’s night that he’s paying for. He tells me she’s the only person in his life that he trusts, and that’s why she knows so much and has so much control. He’s even giving her fifty percent of his hotel chain as a wedding gift because she deserves it.

I figured it out, I figured us out without running.

We appear, then we disappear. Because that’s how we’ve been raised. Our true selves will come at you if you are close, close enough to feel it, to touch it. That side of us that would die for you, protect you, give everything for you, that’s who we are. That’s why I don’t let anyone in. I gave myself, too much of myself, before, to someone who didn’t deserve it. My loyalty was taken for granted. So now it’s held tightly to my chest, and I’m afraid to let it go. He is exactly the same, I see it with the way he speaks of Cherry. Others, he wouldn’t care for, I bet he would even kill them if he had to. And still here he sits in front of me, and an overwhelming sense of enlightenment comes over me.

He would kill for me.

He would protect me, unlike any other.

Yes, we are both damaged, and if we choose to not judge that damaged part and just let it be, maybe then we can be extraordinary.

* * *

He told me to drink as he dropped me off at the bar and to have a good time. Connick said he was only a phone call away. I’ve never had anyone want to look after me before. I’ve always had myself and that isn’t enough sometimes. Sometimes you need that someone, whether you want to admit it or not.

Cherry tried to get Connick to come into the bar, he booked the whole room out for Cherry and her friends.

No strangers will be able to enter, with two bodyguards manning the door, they are to call him the minute we decide to leave. Cherry’s friends are up dancing on the bar, and I’ve managed to sip one glass of wine. Compared to their ten glasses or so, I am slow.

Cherry orders us another round as she laughs with her friends and looks to me, smiling. “He seems happier today. You both seem happier.” She came out to meet us when he dropped me off, and he even smiled at her as I got out of the car.

“Yeah, we had a discussion.” She raises her eyebrows. “We needed to sort a few things out… secrets,” I explain to her.

She nods her head. “Honey, that man will have secrets to the day he’s buried in the ground. You should be happy you know any, considering I only know a few after so many years.”

“He kept secrets from me,” I try to explain to her.

“You don’t have secrets you keep from him?” she asks, sipping her glass of wine while I stare at mine.

“I do, but I still don’t even know what we are.”

“Why label it?” She shrugs her shoulders. “Connick is the man you chase, but you never catch. You, my dear, have him tangled in your web.” She pours more wine into my already full glass. “Drink up, girl, we have some dancing to do.” Standing up, she downs the rest of her glass and dances her way over to her friends. Sitting where I am, I finish the second glass of wine watching them all have fun. Standing to go to the restroom, I feel the effect and suddenly feel dizzy. Grabbing my cell, I place it to my ear as I ring his number.

He answers on the first ring. “Milanka.”

“I’m kind of spinning, and feel light.”

“How many have you had?”

“Just two… full glasses,” I add.

“I’ll be there soon,” he adds as the phone disconnects.

Cherry grabs my hand as I go to walk past her, and pulls me out with her and the rest of the girls to dance. Nineties RnB is playing, and most of these songs I know and dance to in my living room when I’m cleaning. So, I do the same, swinging my hips and jumping up and down, my hair covering my face and my eyes close. I see the appeal of alcohol right then and there, I feel so free, and fun is running through my veins. I could dance all night and not move from this floor. Girls start cheering and hands wrap around my waist.

“No boys,” I tell Connick knowing it’s him the moment his hands touch me. It’s always sensual, always sliding along me to feel, then grabbing to own me.

“He’s allowed to, he paid. Thanks, Connick,” Cherry shouts from next to me almost deafening my ears as she does. Moving my hips, I tip my head back, so he goes to the nape of my neck, and he kisses my collarbone up and down along my neck making me horny.

“Fuck me,” I whisper turning into him so his hands slide to the back of me, dropping down and onto my ass.

“Once in the bathroom, then all night in my bed.” He picks me up and the girls’ cheer, so do I, looking down at him.

“You like me. You like me a lot,” I say kissing his nose as he walks with me holding my ass.

“You’re drunk.”

“Don’t deny it, Connick.” Kissing his forehead, I whisper, “I may give you head if you tell the truth.”

“Yes, yes… a lot. Now shut up so I can fuck you.” He drops my feet, so they touch the floor and locks the door. Turning back to me, he undoes his pants pulling his hard cock free. He walks over to me, and he hikes my skirt up that doesn’t have anything underneath. Then he lifts me up again so my legs go around his waist, sliding me down slowly. With a gasp, he enters me, filling me, and making me want him even more in that moment.

“Tell me what scares you,” I say in between breaths. He’s lifting and dropping me so fast I can hardly catch my breath.

He squeezes my ass hard as he answers, “Love… you.” And that’s all he says, I know he won’t say any more. It’s a moment of weakness, and I pulled it free. I will do it again, though.

His shirt now smells of me, and I now smell of him. He holds me to him not letting me down straight away. We’re both trying to contain ourselves and regroup.

“I drank too much.” I laugh on his shoulder.

“You had two glasses. Though, I don’t want you drinking again without me there.”

Nodding my head, he places me down then tucks his cock back in after removing the condom which I didn’t even notice he had, and before I can pull my skirt down, he does it for me. Then he takes my hand pulling me from the bathroom and back to where all the girls are. Walking up to Cherry, Connick leans in and whispers in her ear before he pulls away letting me lean in and give her a one arm cuddle.

“Stay safe, and thanks for coming.”

We walk out to his car, he opens the door for me, then climbs in the driver’s side and starts the car, driving in the direction of his house.

“I have work tomorrow, I need to go home.”

“I have everything you need. I told you… my house, my bed.”