Calling Derrick’s cell, I get no answer. I know it was him, the dumb fuck, I have security everywhere. Cameras everywhere. It takes a good hour for them to fix the car. I’ve tried reaching Milanka to inform her I’ll be late, but I never have any luck because she never answers her damn cell. I often wonder why she has the fucking thing. When I arrive back home, the lights are on and the door is shut, but there’s a car parked out front. One I don’t know. I’ve never seen it before.

Walking up to my door, a light flickers off as I place my hand on the doorknob and I hear a soft sound float out to me from inside. Opening the door fast and stumbling back in shock, I see Milanka on the floor, her stomach bleeding and passed out.

Derrick.

He’s nowhere to be seen.

Walking in and leaning down to Milanka, I try to wake her. She whimpers but doesn’t wake up. My hands are fisted and my heart is beating fast. The things I want to do to this man. How did he even get in? I told security not to let him pass, yet I know he’s here.

“Derrick, I would stop the games.” Covering Milanka’s stomach and kissing her forehead, I leave her on the floor to find him. He’s still in here somewhere, I know it. “Derrick, last chance.”

He doesn’t come, but I hear the sound of his fast breathing. Walking out of the entry and into the living room where there’s a cloakroom, the door slams open, and Derrick stands there with the knife in his hand. Blood licks the blade that he’s hurt her with.

“You can’t have everything, it’s not fair, Connick.”

“You wouldn’t understand fair, Derrick. You have a family. I tried to be the good son, the good brother. No longer, Derrick.”

“You won’t kill me. Father would hate you.”

My head drops to the side. “Who says he would find out?”

His eyes go crazy, he knows what I’m talking about. Reaching for my cell in my pocket, I press a button, calling someone who will be here as soon as I need them, then I place it back.

“What did you just do?” he asks, noticing my moves.

“What did you do to her?”

“I wanted to cut your baby out.”

“She lost the baby, Derrick.”

He shakes his head. “Milanka would have said so. She wouldn’t have let me cut her if she didn’t have the baby.”

“Maybe you’re more fucked up than you realize, and because you are, I can no longer have you near her.” He tries to look past me to her, but I block his view which makes him angry and his grip tightens on his knife. “Just remember, you asked for this.” Walking toward him with my hands at my sides, he tries going in the other direction but nothing is there except a wall. He swings the knife, trying to cut me, and it just misses my face when it comes down. I barrel into Derrick, taking him down in one swift movement. The knife drops from his hand, and he tries to push me away to get to it. I’m stronger than him so he doesn’t succeed.

We wrestle on the floor. Derrick bites my arm, making it bleed, but I don’t let go, I won’t give him the upper hand—he’s had that too many times before and I won’t give it to him again. My fist comes down hard on his cheek. He laughs when I lift it.

“I did that to her.”

So I do it again, and again until his face is hardly recognizable, but he’s still awake.

“Connick.” Her voice sounds broken. Turning around to face her, she’s now standing next to me, looking down at both of us.

“Move away, Milanka. Now.” She turns but walks around us. We both watch her, Derrick through one eye, me with both. She leans down, her hand covering her stomach and she holds it.

“I don’t want to.” She picks the knife up from the ground while Derrick laughs loudly. His laugh is sickening and makes my skin crawl.

“She’s going to kill you,” he says to me, looking at me now.

Milanka bends down, so she’s level with me and looks me dead in the eye.

“Milanka…”

What would I do if she stabbed me again?

Would I even try to defend myself?

Last time I asked her to do it but I won’t do that again.

“I love you, Connick.” She wants to smile, but it doesn’t touch her lips.

Derrick’s laugh stops, his one good eye looks to her. “Mils…”

She shakes her head at him. “No more, Derrick. Maybe you were my devil after all.” She strokes his hair, then the knife comes around and she slices his throat, fast and mercifully. The knife drops to the side of his head as she watches his neck bleed out.

When he takes his last breath, she drops back onto her ass with tears soaking her face. Standing up and off of him, I walk to her, lift her up and cradle her in my arms.

“Well, shit! Told you she could handle herself.” Harlin is inside. She walks over to Derrick and kicks his body. “Piece of shit,” she says to his corpse.

“Harlin, get the first aid kit. Now.”

She salutes me, walking away. I carry Milanka to our room, laying her on the bed. She doesn’t let me go, she holds onto me when I place her down.

“He was sick.”

“Don’t make excuses for him, Milanka.”

She shakes her head, letting go, and she winces as she does, then pulls her shirt up. “It doesn’t look deep, just a surface cut I think.”

“Do you want my babies, Connick?”

“Is this the right time for those questions, Milanka?”

“Is there ever a good time?” she asks.

“I don’t want kids,” is all I tell her.

Harlin walks in, saving me from more conversation. I start cleaning her wound and then dressing it. She asks for some pain medication for her headache, and I go fetch it for her, taking Harlin out of the room with me.

“Maybe you should have said you’d think on it.”

“What?”

“The kid part… you should have said, I don’t know. You just upset her.”

“I don’t lie to her.”

Harlin laughs then stands back from me. “I’ll get rid of his body. Go and make up for your fuckhead brother.”

Getting her some medicine, I wait until Harlin is gone before I walk back to our room. When I step inside, Milanka’s packing her things, flinching when she pulls her stomach.

“What are you doing, Milanka?”

“I need to leave.”

I take the bag from her. “No. You don’t. You need rest. Get back in the bed.”

She shakes her head. “I need to work out… really work out… if this is what I want. I love you, that’s obvious. But I had a taste of it, Connick, of what it feels like to love something you didn’t even know you wanted. I didn’t want kids, it scared me more than you did. But I can see it, I can see kids. I’m sure I won’t be as bad a mother as she was. I think I could be better.”

“You would be.”

“See, you say all the right things then the wrong things at the same time. You take my feelings and swing them around like a father swings his child making them dizzy. I know I’m no better, but fuck. My life this year has been hell. You made some of that hell. Not all of it was Derrick, you contributed to it, too. I can forgive you for it, I know I can, I partially have. What can I expect from you, though? Will you love me? Will you want to have a family? Marriage even… maybe… one day?”

I stare at her and her words, they’re a lot to take in. Most I don’t have answers for, actually none right now. “Stay.”

“See, you don’t even know. You want me here because you enjoy me.” Her hand touches my face. “I enjoy you as well, Connick. You bring strength to me, something I never knew I had. I can conquer so much with you by my side. You’re a feeling of empowerment, powerfulness, toughness. I could get through anything in this world with you in it.”

“What’s wrong with that?”

“It’s not enough. I never wanted more. Don’t you think it’s time I want more than what I’ve always gotten? I’ve settled for a shitty life because a shitty life was all I knew.” My hand touches her face, it’s bruising, and I hate that he hurt her. Again.

“I won’t push you away again, Milanka.”

“I know, I’m pushing you away for now. Just for a little while. Just while I think. Is that okay?”

“As long as you come back to me.”

“I’m afraid I won’t have a choice in that matter.” She leans in and kisses my lips. I can taste the blood from her lip, but that doesn’t stop me. My hand grips her cheek not wanting to hurt her, but not wanting to push her away either.

“Stay,” I whisper against her lips. She doesn’t answer, just continues to kiss me, taking parts of me like they’re hers in the first place. I’ll give it to her, all of it. Because I love her. Fuck, I love her.

How the fuck did that happen?

It shocks me so much that I can’t form the words I need to say as I watch her pull her lips away from mine. She gives them to me willingly now, those kisses, even if they are few and far between. I could steal her kisses as I’ve stolen her heart if only she would let me.