Serena left the kids with Von and arranged a weekend away for us. She’s been asking me for weeks what happened to me, and I haven’t been able to speak of it. Now though, she is a friend.

I have a friend.

A proper one and it feels weird but good.

So, one night after a movie at her house, she asked again, and I relented finally and told her parts of the story. The crazy ex-boyfriend. How he took me and locked me away. Her face was utter shock when that little statement left my mouth, and now I think she wants to kill him more than I do. It makes me smile because I guess that’s what having a friend is all about. Someone else caring for you, so you’re not by yourself in this cruel world.

I chose not to tell her how long he held me captive, or what happened while I was away in that trailer because I don’t even want to remember. It pushes memories into my brain that I want to bury. Lock them deep inside my consciousness, so I don’t have to deal with the pain. Let’s face it, I’m hoping to never see that man again, and if I do, I think I may be locked away for good. Derrick isn’t a man that brings out the best in me, he’s quite the opposite, actually. More like he brings out the worst. Nothing about ever being near him has been good for me, even when I was young and thought that he was possibly better than what I had, but I was so wrong. A zebra never changes its stripes and he sure as shit couldn’t.

So now we’re off to the Bahamas for a vacation, my first vacation ever. Serena booked it all and told me to not worry or pay a cent. Supposedly her parents have money, and to make up for never seeing or caring about her, they send her a holiday every year for two which she’s never taken due to having the kids at home. When I slipped some money into her purse, she was angry and I couldn’t believe it. Serena’s a single mother and supports both her children with help from Von. I didn’t want her to pay for me. She quickly got over it once she forced me to take the money back, and now we’re at the airport, ready to check in and be on our way.

Von was not so happy when she dropped the kids off to him with their bags and said he had them all weekend.

“He is their father. Gosh, what does he expect?”

She shakes her head as we hand over our passports to the attendant at check-in to allocate our seat reservations.

“Two first-class tickets.” The attendant smiles, handing back our tickets, and my mouth drops open. When I look to Serena her mouth is open as well. Then her head starts shaking.

“I didn’t book first-class, you need to recheck that.”

The attendant’s eyebrows scrunch together as she starts tapping and carrying out her checks. I’m guessing most wouldn’t argue with first-class, but I wouldn’t know as it’s my first time flying.

“Your tickets were upgraded yesterday.” She hands them back, and Serena won’t take them. I accept them and pull Serena away.

“Who did that? Do you know who did that? Von couldn’t afford this. Yes, he has money but he would never…” her head starts shaking as she trails off and I pull out my cell, then she starts again.

Me: Did you do this?

She’s still talking when his reply comes back fast.

Connick: If it’s the upgrade, you’re welcome, Milanka.

Placing my cell back in my pocket, I smile. I knew it was him. Connick is a man with money and power. Of course, he’d know everything and want to control the situation. Part of what he’s done makes me angry and the other part makes me feel happy.

“Connick upgraded us.” Turning my head away, I look everywhere but at her because I know she will say something about this ‘situation.’

“And why don’t we like him again?”

We take our seats in the first-class lounge as we wait for our flight to board.

“Because he’s messed up.”

She laughs at my words. “Aren’t we all?” I raise an eyebrow at her. “You have an issue with sex, don’t deny it. Probably many more I’m unaware of as well. We all do, Mil. It’s just who we are as humans. It’s whether we want to live with them or not.”

“He’s lied to me.”

“Has he lied or just kept the truth away from you? There’s a difference, people conceal the truth so they don’t hurt those they care for. Others lie because they don’t want to be found in that truth.”

Resting my chin on my hand, I look outside at the planes parked on the tarmac, and try to think of all the ‘lies’ or ‘hidden truths,’ but it’s hard when it all came out like it did. Especially, considering that Derrick is his brother. Because that’s not something I will ever forget, and I don’t know how that could have been kept hidden from me for so long.

My cell starts ringing, and when I see the caller ID, I’m not sure if I should answer it or not. Because what do I say? How would I even say it? And the biggest question of all, why am I still thinking of him when he clearly should be on my ‘never to see again’ list? I’ve done it before. It’s been my motto to not have a steady relationship and to only get what I need from random hook-ups. Yet, somehow, I fell into the net that is Connick. Placing my cell to my ear, I hear his voice straight away. I notice Serena get up and walk away, obviously to give me some privacy.

“Do you plan to answer me, Milanka?”

What did he say? I was lost in his voice the second he spoke.

“What do you need, Connick?”

“Will you talk to me again, Milanka?”

I have to close my eyes and fight the urge to tell him to come to me, that I need him even though he scares me.

“Maybe… maybe not.”

“I see…” is the only response I get from him in return.

“Is that all, Connick?”

“Should I kill him? Do you want me to kill him for you? Will that make you feel better? Perhaps safer?”

It’s not the exact same words Derrick used, but it has the same promise.

“No, I just wish to never see him again and…” I stop myself from speaking the words that are on the tip of my tongue.

“And me,” he finishes my sentence for me.

“You said it. You put you first. We were, and will only ever be, bed partners. How about when I need a fuck, I’ll call you.” I hang up the cell as Serena comes back and sits down next to me. I’m glad she doesn’t ask what’s wrong or even try to talk to me, and I’m even happier when I’m able to fall asleep on the flight.

* * *

Our first day was beautiful. This Island is stunning, and the water is unlike anything I’ve ever seen other than in movies. We’ve packed everything in for the weekend, and today is our last day. This morning, we swam with the sharks, and now we’re on the beach playing with the pigs.

Pigs on a beach—who would have thought?

When we arrived, our room was upgraded, naturally. Not just from our double room—no. It was upgraded to a room on the top floor that was so large we were stunned. Serena couldn’t believe it. I, on the other hand, wanted to go back to our smaller room. I’m not like him. I don’t need large amounts of space or extravagant things, and although first class on the plane was nice, I would have been just as happy to sit at the back of the plane as well.

Serena wouldn’t stop talking about him, and I asked her nicely to discontinue after she gushed and gushed at how much he spoils me, and she wished she had someone to do the same for her. Does she really know what she’s talking about? Because I’ve had it before, I think he forgets that. Derrick did the same thing, and he basically bought me without me really understanding that was happening. So yes, the thought of someone else buying me freaks me out and makes me want to go the other way–as far away from that person as humanly possible.

I feel love for Connick, I won’t deny that. But with everything he’s doing and everything that he’s done, I don’t know what to make of it all.

“I don’t want to leave,” she says as we sit down basking in the sun with our feet in the warm sand. Looking up to the sky, I can see why. It’s perfect here. I’m very tempted to stay and never return home. How I wish that were possible.

“Thank you for this, it’s very kind of you.” Turning to Serena, I see her smile, and she pats my hand.

“I can’t take all the credit, he did pay for most of it.” I ignore that and try to not focus on her words or even the meaning of why he’s done this for us.

“If this is reality, who could ever be sad?” I muse to myself.

“I’m sure the happiest people aren’t as happy as you think they are,” she says, standing.

My cell starts ringing and I check the caller ID. Ignoring the call, it starts again. He’s persistent with me. If anything, normally he’s a distant man, only coming for you when he needs you. He can’t need me because I’m not there. After the third ring, I choose to answer it because I can’t let my phone ring like this—it’s annoying to other people around me.

His voice says my name, and I try to not fidget with my hands as he does. “Milanka…” He waits for my reply.

“Yes.”

“I need you to come see me as soon as you land.”

“No.” I don’t even know why he would ask that of me.

“Milanka, you have to come to me. This isn’t about us.”

“You won’t bring anything up about us?”

He huffs into the cell and I know I’ve made him angry, and, despite myself, a smirk touches my lips.

“I promise. Not on this one occasion. So, I will see you at five when your plane lands. My driver will be waiting for you.”

Before I can say no, my cell goes silent and I know he’s hung up on me. Serena is watching me with a smile on her face.

“I saw the smirk, that’s all I’m going to say,” she says, standing with a great big grin on her face, then walks off, leaving me standing there. I don’t know what he wants to talk about, but I do want to know. Especially, since it has nothing to do with us. It has me intrigued and slightly freaked out at the same time for seeing him. Because I still want him. And placing a bird in front of a lion—what happens to that bird? It gets fucked up by that badass lion, that’s what. And I think that’s what will happen with me.

Me equals bird. Connick equals a badass, hot-ass, motherfucker of a lion.

God help me.