Milanka’s lips are moving, she’s saying something, but I don’t recognize nor want to hear it. If I could shut her up, I would, in an instant. I don’t want to hurt her any further than what’s marred on her body. Bruises kiss her beautiful soft skin. Scars touch those places trying to lock in her pain. Milanka’s beautiful green eyes hold me captive and are so full of emotion that I can’t look for long.

When she went missing, I thought she had run from me like she’s done before. Then I went to her work and knew she hadn’t run, rather, something had happened. It was days later when I finally connected the dots, and even then, after figuring it all out, finding information was hard.

Derrick is my brother.

He is the sole reason Milanka’s in my life.

Yet, it has nothing to do with him at all.

I saw the appeal, the appeal of her. Most men do just from looking at her. She uses her allure for lustful gain and pleasure—sexual gratification, in particular.

In the beginning, Milanka wasn’t there for me to go after. I was there purely to scare her, freak her out just a bit so when Derrick came back, she would trust him. Derrick’s a fucking idiot, and if he weren't my brother I would have killed him a long time ago.

The debate on that is still up in the air. Especially after what Derrick did to Milanka. How he hid her from me. It’s totally unacceptable.

She’s scared of Derrick. That much is obvious.

I wonder if she’s scared of me?

The knife is still in her hand, and I lean forward, pushing on it. Milanka may as well stab me with it than say those words again.

She shouldn’t be saying them at all—I’m evil.

Just like he is. Maybe even worse so.

Derrick was here this morning while she slept. He knew I had her and wanted her back. I wasn’t going to let him take her from me this time without her consent, and that I knew she would never give him. His hands were on her as she came down the stairs. My heart fell in my chest, and something happened, anger took hold of me at seeing that in real life. I grabbed and threw Derrick as far as I could. The look on her face was pure anguish—Milanka didn’t want his hands or him anywhere near her. Derrick muttered something as he left, and I knew it wouldn’t be long until he tried coming back for her again.

The way she’s looking at me right now—she’s lost. It’s the same way I remember her being all those years ago in his house when we were teenagers. I was almost an adult—being older than both of them—I was days off of my eighteenth birthday.

It was my first taste of her.

The way Milanka did as Derrick commanded as soon as the words left his mouth, it was like she was a zombie. She never saw anyone else when she was with him. It was like she was in a trance. Open eyes, but seeing nothing.

Derrick would pass her around like Milanka was his own personal toy to all his friends. He even offered her to me that night. I shook my head but watched them in fascination. He would always hold her somewhere, keeping her locked with his hands tightly and she would stand there staring out at nothing.

Milanka was beautiful then—hidden, but very beautiful.

Derrick was spoiled, he always has been. Getting everything he wanted when he wanted it, he became tainted. His mother was never home, and our father was always away on business trips, so he had the house to himself most of the time.

I wasn’t raised with Derrick. Actually, the only times I saw him were on vacations. My world was completely different, living in my father’s condo in the city with a nanny while he went back to his other family, his new wife. Our father spoiled me too, though. I didn’t think one of us got more than the other, it was just how we were with it all. I received most of our father’s businesses as he got older, whereas Derrick only wanted shares so he could live comfortable in his own fucked up little world and not have to do much for the money he received.

I worked hard, harder than any one of my employees. Even harder than my father did, and with that hard work came success and I was able to expand. Even in areas Derrick doesn’t know about. My mother died at a young age, and the only mother figure I knew was that of my nanny. I’ve never been in a relationship, and I’ve never been in love.

None of that has interested me—until her.

She’s so different, unlike any woman I’ve ever met. Milanka has so many problems that if you dig deep enough, you can bring them all to the surface. She came to me unexpectedly—much like a hurricane, fast and hard. She doesn’t see me for my skin color, nor does she see me for my physique.

I notice when she stares at me, she’s searching and looking deeper. I’m afraid that she’s found what she’s looking for and it’s something I’m not ready to give.

She repeats those words again, and I want Milanka to stab me. I want her to take that knife locked in her hand and push it through my stomach. Because then she will see that love is not lust and lust is not love. She can’t separate the two. Milanka needs to recognize that there are two distinct differences because both cannot exist in my world. Only one can, and I’m pretty sure she knows which one.

Milanka’s lips are so full and her eyes so green, it’s like she’s lost at the bottom of the sea.

I had never been so worried until the day I found her. She was pieces of everything. Pieces that tried to fit together, just like a giant jigsaw puzzle with the wrong pieces that don’t fit. The moment I had her in my arms I could feel she felt safe. Milanka fell asleep and didn’t even wake when I carried her to my room.

I was so mad, that she made me leave the morning she went missing—I was so furious that I actually left, even when I knew I shouldn’t have. I don’t try to understand the workings of her mind, it eats away at enough of her as it is.

Sex is what bonds us. It’s what gives me that connection to her, but I’m afraid Milanka thinks of it as more.

Now I have her standing in front of me, doing something I never thought she’d do.

Let alone to me.

Yet, she does it anyway.

And I’m powerless to stop it.

It comes like a bullet, powerful and strong, tearing you apart from the inside out.