“MOTHERFUCKER!” MY voice echoed off the walls of our empty home in Bend, and I looked down at Kitty Hawk just as her ears flattened back against her head.
“The movers are running behind,” I said to the cat because there was no one else to talk to. “They won’t be here for another day.” I set my phone back down on the window sill.
I glanced around the living room in frustration, my gaze landing on the airbed situated on the floor in the middle of the vacant space. The mattress was large enough for Allison and me to use in the master suite. But I was going to have to get clever when it came to Heide.
I’d hoped to have her room put together by the time I picked her and Allison up from the airport later that afternoon. I wanted my daughter to be happy. She’d accepted the reality of our move but had occasional bouts of anxiety in the days leading up to our departure. Her comfort in our new home was vital, so I grabbed my car keys and went in search of a solution to this unexpected problem.
Several hours later, I finished pitching a small tent in Heide’s room. I also unrolled a brand-new sleeping bag inside, hoping her first night in the new house would be a memorable adventure. I’d even bought a poster of the local mountains and displayed it on the wall across from the tent’s opening. I wanted Heide to see it from her spot inside the tent.
Allison wasn’t going to be happy when she heard the moving van was delayed, but she wasn’t going to be surprised either. According to her, nothing had gone her way this summer.
With extra consideration and heightened nerves, I selected an outfit for my first day of work. The office was professional with an air of relaxation and informality that I wasn’t used to. I didn’t want to overdress, but I wanted to make a certain statement. I chose navy trousers, a white dress shirt and one of my newest silk neckties to add some color. I rounded out the outfit with cream-colored suspenders for another bit of contrast.
I was selecting a navy blazer from the closet when Allison approached me, still dressed in her pajamas. She smiled at me and I returned in kind.
“Very handsome this morning,” she said, surprising me.
“Thank you.” I glanced down at my necktie. “I’m wearing your anniversary gift for good luck.”
She closed the distance between us and lifted her delicate fingers to smooth out the tie. I was desperate to flirt with my wife but held back, knowing it could send her into immediate retreat. Instead, I savored the closeness of her body to mine and waited as patiently as possible. She lifted her eyes and looked at me with warmth. My smile widened and I brought my hand up to caress her cheek.
Allison swallowed and parted her lips to speak, but the words weren’t forthcoming.
“What is it?” I asked her.
“I’m anxious to begin counseling…” Her words drifted off again.
My forehead furrowed. I didn’t know what words I expected to hear, but these weren’t it. “I know.”
“I don’t want to pick someone at random from a website. I want someone with a solid reputation.”
I didn’t like the direction her words were leading. My body tensed along with my voice. “What are you asking me?”
“We need a referral.”
I dropped my hand away from her face and took a significant step back, my incredulity and anger on the rise.
“You want me to ask around the office for a therapist? On my first day? What the hell kind of impression would that make?”
Allison leveled me with an icy glare. “I don’t know, Jack. One that says you care about your family more than your job?”
I pointed an angry finger at her. “That is not fair!”
“Don’t tell me what is and isn’t fair. We made a deal, and I’ve held up my end of it! It’s your turn now.”
“I will take care of it, but don’t put demands on me. Don’t tell me to march into work on my first day and inform everyone that my wife thinks I’m the world’s shittiest husband.”
“That’s not what I said, Jack.”
I threw on my blazer with a sense of defiance and marched back to her. She held her ground as I held up one finger in front of her face.
“Just once, Allison,”—I shook my finger for emphasis—“I would appreciate it if you’d put some fucking faith in me!”
“Are you kidding me right now? That’s all I’ve ever done! And what do I have to show for it after all these years?”
I stepped around her, ready to put some distance between us. Just before I walked through the bedroom door, I turned to address her one last time with exasperation and ire.
“I’m tired of your complaints. I work a good job. You and Heide are well taken care of. I’m home every night and all I want in return is for my wife to love me once in a while. So why don’t I just make this simple? I call your bluff. If you’re so fucking miserable with me, then figure out something else. If your life with me is so terrible, then change it!”
Allison was silent. I was satisfied. And so, I left for work without a backward glance.
I was preoccupied with arranging my new office. Although I’d never admit it to anyone, I couldn’t work with clutter surrounding me, physical or otherwise.
I would receive a few days grace period while I settled into the routine at Aurora Advertising, but I wanted to put my best effort forward and that wasn’t going to happen until my personal workspace was comfortable. I was absorbed with sorting an abandoned box of files when a light knock landed on my open door. I held up a finger while I kept my eyes focused on the document I was reading. Once I was content with my findings, I glanced up.
Kathleen Brighton was standing in my doorway, a polite grin on her face. As always, she was dressed stylishly and the random thought that she was wearing another skirt drifted through my consciousness. I had yet to see her pleasing legs fully covered.
“Good morning, Jack. Welcome to the firm.”
“Hello, Kathleen. Thank you. Sorry if I kept you waiting.”
She shook her head, her mild amusement holding firm. She gestured at the surroundings. “I hope your office is to your liking.”
“It’s great. Much nicer than my last one.”
“Good. I like to hear that. I wanted to make sure you knew about our staff meeting. We hold a briefing every Monday morning.”
“Yes. I got that e-mail. I was just organizing some stuff while I had a few minutes.”
“Since it’s your first day, I thought I’d walk with you, if that’s all right?”
I offered my friendliest smile. “Thank you. Yes.”
As we weaved our way through the office toward the break room, Kathleen spoke again.
“You should know, Robert asked me to introduce you during the meeting. I don’t know about you, but I hate when I’m blindsided by things like that.”
I recalled Kathleen’s tendencies toward bashfulness. At one time, I had battled those same predispositions, but my time in college had changed that.
“I figured there would be something. I’m prepared.”
She kept looking ahead as she asked her next question. “Is there anything you’d like me to mention? Or not mention?”
“No. I can’t think of anything,” I said. Then impulsively, I muttered, “There’s not much to me.”
We arrived at the break room door just in time for Kathleen to respond to my last statement. She flashed me a brilliant smile as her eyes met mine. “I disagree.”
Tracie pulled Kathleen away with a question about a pressing deadline. By the looks of things, Kathleen and I were the last ones to arrive for the staff meeting. Some faces I recognized from my earlier visit, but most were new to me. All the seats in the room were occupied so I wandered to the side and leaned against the wall.
Kathleen and Tracie walked side by side to the front of the room, their heads close together as they engaged in muted conversation. Kathleen laughed and placed her hand briefly on Tracie’s upper arm in affection. When Tracie broke away and Kathleen turned to face everyone, the room silenced.
“Good morning,” she began.
Those gathered in the room, including me, returned her greeting.
“As you can see, Robert is away today. He’s over in Boise to see about expanding his empire to Idaho.”
Many in the room chuckled.
“Before we begin with project updates, we have a new employee joining us today.” Kathleen extended her arm in my direction and I was surprised that she knew where to find me. As people turned their heads in my direction, I slid my hands into my pants pockets, attempting to appear relaxed and casual.
As everyone scrutinized me, I watched Kathleen and waited for her introduction. She hesitated and avoided meeting my gaze. Instead, her green eyes shifted to my torso, and I froze when I realized her stare didn’t repulse me, as Elyse’s often did.
Without thinking, I pulled my hands from my pockets and rested them on my hips. Kathleen’s gaze drifted across my body and came to rest on my left side. She blinked twice and then looked away as her cheeks took on a rosier hue. I glanced down and realized why.
Against the dark material of my trousers, my gold wedding band was on full display, shining brightly under the overhead lights. Remembering my argument with Allison earlier that morning, I made a mental note to focus my efforts on finding a marriage counselor.
I looked back up as soon as Kathleen resumed the meeting. “Jack Evans is our new media director. He’s just moved to Bend from Baltimore, so be gentle with him. This is bound to be an interesting transition.”
More chuckles filled the room, including my own.
“We are incredibly lucky to have Jack join the team. He comes to us after having worked for one of the leading advertising firms on the East Coast and, make no mistake, his arrival signals how far Aurora has evolved. To be able to secure someone of Jack’s experience and caliber from across the country is an amazing achievement for us.”
My own cheeks began to warm as the room broke into spontaneous applause. Kathleen grinned and joined the rest of the group in clapping. She nodded in my direction, cueing that it was my turn to speak. Once the greeting died down, I straightened up from the wall.
“Thank you for the warm welcome. And thank you, Kathleen, for those kind words. What can I say? My family and I are thrilled to be here. We are new to the Pacific Northwest, so we have a lot to learn, but everything we’ve seen here so far is beautiful, and we’re excited to begin this new adventure. There’s just something special about this place. I haven’t exactly put my finger on what it is yet, but I know the journey is going to be incredible. Please know that my door is always open, and if you have any thoughts about how Aurora can best connect with the audiences of our clients, I welcome those discussions.”
I nodded toward Kathleen in deference, and she smiled at me one last time. As the meeting progressed, I did my best to follow as many details as possible, but my thoughts kept wandering to Allison and our troubles. I wanted to chalk up our latest argument to the stress of the move and the new job, but the truth was we were fighting more than we were getting along. We weren’t communicating, and we weren’t having sex. Days without intimate contact had evolved into weeks, and weeks had now developed into months. Our marriage was in real trouble, and like it or not, I only had one alternative to try and save our relationship.
Given the choice between approaching Robert or Kathleen for some personal help, no debate was necessary. I regarded her again as the staff meeting ended. My decision made, I waited until the buzz of the exodus was in full swing before cutting a path toward her.
“Great job,” she greeted me.
I nodded, intent on my goal. “Do you have a couple of minutes to talk? I’d like to ask you about something.”
Kathleen’s expression was curious, but also decided. “Sure. Why don’t I meet you in your office in a couple of minutes?”
“Perfect.”
I turned and began the walk back. I did my best to appear at ease whenever someone greeted me, but thoughts of what was happening outside of work dominated my thoughts. Thankfully, Kathleen didn’t keep me waiting long and even closed the door without my prompting her to do so.
“What can I do for you, Jack?” she asked as she took a seat in front of my desk. She leaned back and crossed one leg over the other in a move that was polished by years of practice.
I scratched my chin. “I wondered if Aurora has any medical professionals as clients. I read a little bit online about your work with the hospital here. Is St. Charles a client, by chance?”
“Yes. We do work for St. Charles.”
“Is the Bend hospital independent or part of a larger chain?”
“St. Charles is its own health system. There are four hospitals under their umbrella.”
“Are they all located in central Oregon?”
“Yes.”
“They must be a significant employer for the region, then.”
“The biggest, actually.”
“Do you think you could help me arrange a meeting? Perhaps a lunch and a tour? It would be a good idea for me to become familiar with their operations.”
“Are you looking to establish local medical care for your family?”
Once again she surprised me with her quick and direct assessment. She may not have figured it out, but she was certainly going down the right path. “Yes.”
“Just primary care? Or do you need something more specific?”
I hesitated. “Primary care is fine. I also need to find a pediatrician for my daughter.”
“How is Heide doing? This has to be a tremendous change for her.”
Once again, I was astounded. Kathleen remembered my daughter’s name. Thinking about Heide brought me a much-needed moment of lightness.
“It was a little hard for her to leave Maryland, although she likes it out here. She starts school next week. Once she meets a few kids, she’ll settle right in. She’s always been able to adapt. Better than me, anyhow.”
“You’re all going to do just fine.”
I’d thought so too before leaving Baltimore, but I was having my doubts. “Thanks.”
Kathleen rose from her seat, ready to put her words into action. “I’ll get that tour arranged for you. I’ll send out an e-mail and introduce you to some people at the hospital.”
“I appreciate anything you can do for me.”
“Happy to help.” Kathleen opened the door and waved on her way out into the corridor.
It seemed like a perfect solution. Tour the hospital, visit the various physicians there and pick up a few business cards along the way, including some therapists. I could bring some cards home and pass them along to Allison. Then she could do the research and make her own choice.
Problem solved.