I WAS running late to pick up Heide from school. I prided myself on my promptness and hated being overdue for any appointment. My blood pressure spiked at the thought of her standing outside, wondering where I was. I’d fought like hell to keep everything on track for today. I’d fought, and I’d lost.
Heide was waiting for me to drive her to spring soccer tryouts. Trying out for the new team was all she’d talked about for days. Things were going well for Heide at school. After an initial bout of shyness, she’d made new friends. Now she was happy and excited to join them on the playing field. She’d turned the corner and had put the stress behind her, and while disappointments in life were inevitable, I didn’t want to be the one to let her down on such an important day in her young life.
It was early March, and even though a hint of winter still hovered in the air, the locals in Bend were ready for springtime activities. I was dashing to my car when my cell phone chimed with an incoming call. Irritated, I glanced at the screen long enough to register the Baltimore area code. I answered the call out of nothing more than sheer habit.
It wasn’t Allison. I’d stored her photo in my contacts and it flashed on my display screen whenever she called. Not that it mattered because she never contacted me when she knew that Heide and I weren’t together. Still, the call could be about Allison, so I accepted it. Months after her return to Maryland, I was still worried about her health. I was also having trouble letting go of my marital duties.
“Hello,” I answered as I fished a hand inside my suit jacket pocket for my key fob.
“Hello, Jack,” the woman said in a haughty voice, distracting me. I tripped over the curb next to my parking space and almost fell into the side-view mirror.
“Shit!” I uttered the expletive forgetting I had an audience. I wasn’t as concerned about the woman on the phone as I was about another golden-haired beauty who was somewhere nearby. I looked around the parking lot. Thankfully, Kathleen was nowhere to be seen.
When the woman on the phone laughed at my exclamation, the recognition hit home. My stomach lurched as I regained my posture.
“Did I call at a bad time?” she asked me.
My voice was cool. “Kind of.”
She faltered a bit. “Maybe I should have texted you first.”
I wasn’t in the mood for banter. “How did you get this number, Elyse?”
“From the woman who answers the phones at your new office. Should she not be giving it out?” Elyse played innocent, but only to the extent that she thought it playful. “Perhaps that firm of yours needs to rethink their privacy policy.”
I verbally ignored Elyse’s jab at Aurora Advertising. Elyse was quick to move on to another subject. “Allison has returned to Baltimore.”
I narrowed my eyes in suspicion but opted not to deny the truth. “Yeah.”
“Rumor has it, she’s staying here. I wondered if you’d be returning, too. You know, to make it easier on your daughter.”
“No.”
Ignoring my answer, Elyse surged ahead. “I can work some magic. All I would have to tell Cal is that you’re considering moving back here. You’ll have your old job back within a few days. You could even get a raise out of the deal.”
“Not interested.”
Elyse was undeterred by my frigid reception. She simply altered course. “I have unused vacation time I need to burn this year. Spring break is coming up. I also heard your daughter is coming out here to spend time with Allison. I could fly out to Oregon if you can’t break away. Or, better yet, we can meet up somewhere for the week. You can choose where. That part doesn’t matter much to me.”
“I’m married, Elyse,” I responded through gritted teeth.
“Not for much longer,” she reminded me. “And only by word. Certainly not by deed.”
I peered around the parking lot, searching for the words to shut Elyse down for good. Just then, Kathleen and Tracie exited the office. They were headed to the coffee place a few doors down from the office. I was always happy to see her, but Kathleen was exactly what I needed in that tenuous moment. Elyse was still talking, but I’d tuned her out as soon as Kathleen came into view.
She was in a happy mood, modeling a brilliant smile and laughing good-naturedly at something Tracie said. She even waved to me as they passed by. I waved back and turned just enough to watch her retreat, my eyes transfixed on her sublime figure. She was wearing dark leggings paired with a light gray, cowl-neck sweater. The outfit was a treat, for she mostly wore skirts to the office. She only dressed casually when she wouldn’t be called away to represent the firm outside its office walls. Even so, her fashion choices were contemporary and a perfect complement to her natural beauty. My eyes drifted to her curvy backside, and my face heated up despite the crisp, mountain air.
I watched Kathleen until she disappeared inside the café. Then I picked up the frequency of Elyse’s voice. She’d continued talking, without realizing she’d lost my attention. I allowed her to keep rattling on, if only to figure out what she was proposing. As it turned out, Elyse had been pleading her case for us to get together.
“…I just need to blow off a ton of steam. You’re always so great helping with that.”
Elyse’s timing was terrible. Her last, best chance with me would have been last fall, right after Allison left, when I was most vulnerable to such offers. Instead, Elyse had made the mistake of holding off too long.
Everything had changed the night I discovered Kathleen sitting alone by the fireplace. I wanted to be worthy of her. I wanted to become the man my father would want me to be. I couldn’t explain the personal changes that were underway since I’d acknowledged my attraction to Kathleen. Doubts lingered about my ability to be the kind of lover she deserved, but there were no doubts about what it meant for Elyse and her overtures of casual sex.
“The answer is no,” I said in a tone intended to leave no room for negotiation. Regardless, I elaborated my point. “The answer has been no for years. Don’t ruin good memories by trying to force something that will never happen again. Goodbye, Elyse.”