“Why didn’t you pack this?” Kate asks, and when I peek out of my bathroom, I see her standing by my dresser, holding up my white scallop-trim bikini.
“Because I already packed four others.”
“This one is hot, though,” she says, and I laugh when she presses the top over her boobs.
“You’re more than welcome to borrow it.”
“Please,” she says, dropping it away from her chest. “I’d pop out of this thing. You’re way too petite to be lending me any of your clothes.” She then walks over to my suitcase and tosses the bikini in.
It’s the first day of spring break, and the four of us decided it would be fun to spend it down in Key West. It was a little last minute, but we were able to snag a two-bedroom suite.
“Kate,” Trent hollers. “Make yourself useful and help me out.”
She rolls her eyes, and I follow her into the living room.
“Micah’s on the phone, and I’m ready to go. Will you guys help me get the bags down to the garage?”
After gathering all the suitcases and beach bags, we haul everything into the elevator and down to Trent’s SUV. Once it’s all loaded, I look at Kate, who’s getting into the back seat. “Crap.”
“What?” she questions, buckling her seatbelt.
“I forgot to bring my bag down.”
“Tell Micah to hurry his ass up while you’re up there,” Trent says.
I walk back into the condo and head straight to my room. As I’m pulling up the handle on my suitcase, I spot a gold gift bag sitting on top of my bed that wasn’t there when I left. There’s no card, only an embossed sticker with the name of a boutique. Slowly, I pull out the few sheets of white tissue paper, revealing a large box beneath. When I open the lid, I take out an exquisite conch shell. It’s heavy, and I admire the polished pink center that curves around the inside. I notice the bottom of the shell has a base, and when I flip it over, I see a tiny switch. Pushing it to the side, the whole shell glows in a soft light—a bedside nightlight.
I can’t believe he did this.
Footfalls catch my attention, and when I turn around, Micah is standing behind me.
“I thought you could use it in the hotel room this week,” he says, knowing I won’t be able to have the lights on since I’m sharing a room with Kate.
His thoughtfulness is beyond a petty thank you, so I walk straight into his arms and give him a hug. “It’s beautiful.” He could’ve gotten me a cheap plastic plugin, but he didn’t. This took effort and thought, and I’m so lucky to have someone in my life who cares so much.
“We should get going,” he says, and I quickly slip the light back into the box before packing it into my suitcase.
After locking up, we head down, and a few minutes later, we are on the road.
When Trent suggested this trip, I was excited to jump on board. It’s been an intense few weeks for me. The day after I promised Micah I would get help, I pulled out the business card my mother had given me months ago and made the call. I didn’t have much time to prepare myself because he had an open session the following day. Leaving the condo was terrifying. I couldn’t do it on my own, and I didn’t have to. Micah saw how nervous I was and offered to drive me. He sat out in his truck and waited while I was at my appointment.
It was strange meeting Dr. Garrison for the first time, but he eased in slowly, which helped relax me. We started off by talking about me and my family and how it was growing up. It was all pretty basic until we got to the reason why I was there. He thought it would be best to meet twice a week for a while, so that’s what I’ve been doing for nearly a month. Sessions are hard—harder than I imaged they would be. We talk about that night, about Kason, about all my feelings. It’s a lot to deal with so openly, and I find myself utterly drained when the hour is over.
I learned not to plan anything on the days I see Dr. Garrison because not only am I exhausted but also I’m way too vulnerable. It’s like peeling off a scab and exposing a wound that’s way too raw. It takes me a good day to process each session, but I’m starting to feel the effects. He’s been teaching me different coping skills to help manage my anxiety, and he also has me do a daily exercise in which I say aloud what happened to me. He believes that the more I say it and acknowledge it, the less power it will have over me. That with time, I’ll become stronger than that night. And he’s right. It’s already becoming easier. I stand in my bathroom every day, look at my reflection, and tell myself what happened that night—at least the parts I do know.
“Liam raped me.” It was only last week that I was finally able to say it without falling to my knees and crying. I stood there, said the words, and when my body held strong, I actually smiled. I couldn’t believe it. I literally smiled, and for a moment, I felt powerful.
Not to say that everything is better, because it isn’t. I still struggle with the dark, and there hasn’t been a single night that Micah hasn’t slipped into my room and slept next to me. He’s there with me as I lay restless. Sometimes, I’m able to fall asleep, and the times when I can’t, he holds me, offering me unyielding comfort the best way he knows how. I’m not sure how I would do any of this without him.
Trent teases us relentlessly, but I just laugh it off. If he only knew how innocent our nights were and the reason behind Micah staying in my room, he would understand. But for now, Micah and I just make light of it.
We’re not the only ones being taunted. Right now, Kate is getting a dose of it herself when Trent overhears her telling me about the guy that took her out the other night.
“You mean, Caleb? That dude’s a shubie.”
“No he isn’t,” Kate defends, but I’ve seen the guy a few times when I’ve gone to watch Micah surf, and I silently agree with Trent. The guy tries too hard to look the part.
Trent busts out laughing. “He’s a paddlepuss, Kate.”
“You’re such an ass, you know that?”
“Just calling it like I see it.”
“So, because he isn’t as good as you or Micah, that makes him a poser.”
“You said it!”
“Whoa,” Micah says, piping in. “Trent’s nowhere near as good as I am, so don’t clump us together.”
“You are so arrogant,” I accuse, to which he turns his head and shoots me a wink.
I laugh at his playfulness as Kate and Trent continue to pester each other. Truth is, Micah is extremely talented on the board, and even though he gets a lot of attention for his skimming, he’s been climbing the ranks with his surfing. It was right after my birthday when he told me about his first sponsorship. It’s only a local surf shop, but they also publish a popular magazine called Ride, which is all about skateboarding, surfing, and skimming. With Micah’s look, they went ahead and booked him for a photo shoot to promote an up-and-coming street wear clothing line that’s about to launch in their store. He kind of scoffed at first, but all athletes do their fair share of modeling gigs.
After an hour and a half in the car, we stop in Islamorada for lunch before getting back on the road. Two hours later, we arrive in Key West. The place is busy with spring breakers from all over, and I’m excited to be out of Miami for a while. I need the escape from my everyday reality, and I’m looking forward to spending some girl time with Kate as well.
When we pull up to the hotel, I step out of the SUV, and I’m reminded of last year’s spring break. It was the four of us in the Bahamas: Kason, Trent, Micah, and me. Now that Kason is no longer in the picture, the three of us have welcomed Kate into our small group. It’s weird how much life has changed. Even in the past six month since Kason and I split, everything is different. I can actually think about Kason without it hurting too badly. Funny how time does that—soothes scars and mends pain.
I’ll always cherish falling in love with him and the time we had together, but one thing life has taught me under its harsh hand is that this world is ever changing, and unless you move with the tides, you’ll only drown in the memories left behind. That’s one thing therapy has forced me to face, that memories are just that—memories. Once tangible moments that are no longer. My only wish is that Kason is moving on as well, cherishing the memories but letting go of the loss.
“Come on, Guppy.”
We lug our bags inside the lobby, and after we check in and get our room keys, we head out to our suite. The place is amazing. Everything is bright with warm touches of earth tones throughout the living room, dining room, kitchen, and the two bedrooms, all of which look out over the sparkling pool and white sandy beach. With no marina to count boats, I feel a world away from Miami, and I can’t help the huge smile that comes across my face.
“Hurry and change so we can get down to the pool.” I trail behind Kate to our room, closing the door behind us.
“This place is amazing,” I boast as I toss my suitcase onto the bed and start unpacking. We’re here for seven days, and I refuse to spend this trip living out of a bag, unlike Kate, who leaves everything in her suitcase but the bikini she just pulled out.
I take the gift Micah gave me out of its box and set it on the nightstand next to the king-sized bed that Kate and are sharing.
“What’s that?”
“Just a little light,” I tell her. “Micah bought it for me, and it was too pretty not to bring.”
She walks over and picks it up, handling it gently before setting it back down. “That’s a nice gift.” Her tone is suggestive, but I dismiss her with a roll of my eyes.
We spend the better part of the day lying out and relaxing. I listen to Kate gush about Caleb, happy that Trent is no longer on her radar. When we are good and relaxed with a kiss of pink on our skin, Kate and I ditch the boys and take the trolley over to Duval Street. We wander in and out of boutiques, gift shops, and art galleries. I buy a bottle of perfume and a small canvas painting by a local artist, and Kate indulges in a pair of strappy sandals and a new purse. She may be a surfer, but when she isn’t in the water, she’s a total girly-girl.
As we pass a few outdoor bars, she points out cute guys, and I can’t help but laugh.
“You need a boyfriend to calm you down,” I tease.
“Tell me about it. Single life blows. Caleb has me going crazy, though,” she pouts. “Seriously, Ady, why hasn’t he called me yet?”
“Your date was just last night.” I pull out my phone and check the time. “It hasn’t even been twenty-four hours.”
“I just want to get this part over with.”
“Don’t rush it. Falling is the fun part.”
“Easy for you to say, Miss I Don’t Have Any Interest In Guys At All.”
I laugh. “God, you make it sound like I’ve taken some sort of vow of celibacy or something.”
Her hand flies out in front of her, and she stops in her tracks, mocking me with a shocked expression, saying, “Wait! You haven’t?”
“You’re crazy,” I joke as I nudge her with my arm.
We continue to stroll in and out of stores, purchasing things here and there before deciding to meet the guys at Sloppy Joe’s Bar for dinner. After eating a platter of calamari and sharing a slice of key lime pie with Kate, we walk outside where it’s already dark.
“I can’t believe I missed it,” I sulk as we stroll down the street.
“Missed what?”
“The sunset,” I tell Micah as Trent and Kate walk a few feet ahead of us.
He gives me an inquisitive look, and I explain, “I sort of fell in love with watching them when I moved to Tampa. But in Miami, the sun doesn’t set into the water.”
“Then we won’t miss another one while we’re here,” he tells me. “I’ll take you to Mallory Square tomorrow night to watch it.”