“Could you pass the scones, dear.”
“This is a lot of food, Mom,” Micah says as he passes the platter across the table.
“What we don’t eat you can take back with you to Cheryl’s.” Jillian tucks a lock of her short golden hair behind her ear. Her eyes are the same midnight blue as her son’s, and after she takes a sip of her coffee, she says, “It’s too bad she couldn’t join us this morning.”
“She’s been so tied up the past couple of days dealing with all the funeral arrangements and stuff.” My mother was supposed to attend breakfast this morning, but instead, she’s at the florist, picking out flowers. She’s been helping Kason make decisions and paying for everything, including picking up all the medical bills.
I haven’t spoken to him since I left the hospital a couple of days ago. It broke my heart to leave him there, but it broke even more to know that I was inflicting more pain on him, which was my biggest fear about coming back. I’ve wanted to reach out to him, but I also don’t want to cross any boundaries either, so out of respect, I’ve kept my distance.
Dan, Micah’s dad, swallows down a forkful of eggs and wipes his mouth with his napkin before looking to his son. “How’s Kason holding up?”
“Don’t know. I haven’t seen him yet.”
Dan gives him a peculiar look, and I explain, “It all happened pretty quickly after we got into town.”
“It’s awful to lose a parent so early in life,” Jillian says. “Do you know when the funeral will be? Dan and I want to be there for Kason. He was always such a nice young man.”
“And a hard worker.”
I acknowledge Dan and smile. “He was always so grateful for you getting him into the high school here and for the job you gave him.” Reaching under the table, I lay my hand on Micah’s thigh, and he’s quick to lace his fingers between mine before I look back to his dad, adding, “And I believe the funeral will be the day after tomorrow. I’m pretty sure that’s what my mom told me this morning, but I’ll double-check and call you later today.”
“Well, in the meantime,” his mom says as her smile grows, “have you two discussed a date for the wedding? You’ve been engaged for six months now. I feel as if I’m more excited than you two are.”
“Our whole lives are up in the air,” Micah tells her, shaking his head in mild laughter.
“I know, I know.”
“The kids just graduated, Jill. Now they’re about to move to the other side of the country. Let them breathe a little.”
We all chuckle at her enthusiasm. “It’s okay,” I tell her. “Before we came, we were actually toying with the idea of this fall.”
“This fall? As in four months?”
“Mom, chill. Ady doesn’t want anything big.”
I can see a hint of disappointment in her eyes, but she keeps her smile in place. Her elation since Micah proposed in front of the both of them on Christmas morning has been apparent. She has one child. One wedding. Same with my mom. But where my mother is low key, Jillian is all about the lavish parties and vacations. As much fun as I have when Micah and I come home to attend one of her elaborate parties, it’s never been what I wanted for my wedding.
“All I need is a church and a pretty dress.”
“Where are you thinking?”
Micah sits back in his chair as he runs his thumb over the top of my hand. “We haven’t talked about it, but I already know how busy my event schedule will be going into the colder months.”
“If you’re considering staying put in California, La Jolla would be a beautiful place. Or even Coronado Island. That’s where your cousin got married a few years ago, you remember?”
Micah nods. “Like I said, we haven’t even discussed it yet.”
“Let them get moved and settled,” Dan says before popping a bite of bacon into his mouth. “When do you two fly out to meet with the realtor?”
“Three days,” Micah answers. “We’ll stay for the funeral, but we have to get back to Miami right after.”
“Have you started packing at all?”
“Just a few things here and there,” I respond as Jillian takes another sip of her coffee.
We fall into small talk, and eventually drift into them asking more questions about Micah’s surfing, which they’ve been slow to come around to accepting over the past couple of years.
When my phone vibrates in my pocket, I take it out and keep it concealed under the table as I look at the text.
Kason: I’m sorry about the other day.
“Everything okay?” Micah questions when he notices I have my phone out.
With concern for Micah in my tone, I tell him, “It’s Kason.”
He’s completely understanding, though. “It’s okay. Do you need to talk to him?”
I nod and then address his parents. “Excuse me for a moment.” I take my cell and slip out back, heading down to the dock. Kicking off my sandals, I sit on the edge and dip my toes into the water before texting him back.
Me: You have nothing to apologize for. I’m sorry if I made things harder on you. That was never my intention.
I hit send, and he doesn’t make me wait long for his response.
Kason: I was an asshole. I shouldn’t have yelled at you like that.
Me: It’s really okay. So, I know this is a stupid question, but it’s one I would feel weird about if I didn’t ask, but how are you doing?
Kason: I don’t even know how to begin to answer that. I’ve been questioning a lot lately.
Me: Like what?
And this time, it takes a handful of minutes for his response to come. I drag my feet lazily over the top of the water while staring down at the screen, waiting for his reply.
Kason: Everything.
I want to ask more, but I don’t know where the lines are drawn between us. I feel like I barely know anything when it comes to him.
Me: What can I do? I feel so helpless.
Kason: I don’t think there’s anything you can do.
Me: Will you let me try?
Kason: How?
A moment of hesitation slips between a heartbeat before I type my response.
Me: Maybe I could come over later. I could distract you with one of my crappy movies you used to tease me about.
Kason: You always had the worst taste in movies.
It’s now that I realize I’m smiling.
Me: I think you secretly liked them. After all, you never really put up a decent fight to get out of watching them.
Kason: I had my reasons.
Me: Care to share?
Again, he isn’t quick to respond, and when the screen eventually dims out, I look across the water at a pelican taking a dive off one of the pilings. He catches a fish, and it flops around in its bill pouch for a few seconds before he swallows it.
My phone then buzzes.
Kason: Because you would always lie on top of me and fall asleep halfway through. I liked the way it felt.
I release a deep exhale when I think back. We spent so much time together in the bliss of first love and the yearning to constantly be around each other. I laugh under my breath when I recall how annoyed Trent and Micah would get with us every time we bailed on them. The two of them would always give us so much crap. But we didn’t care—we were in love.
His words come across heavy, though, in a way that tugs at one of my loose heartstrings. It’s the memory of what once was but no longer is. Sometimes, it’s the most precious memories that can hurt the most.
“Ady,” Micah calls out from the back door. “You about ready?”
“Just one second.”
He goes inside to wait for me, and I turn to my phone.
Me: I have to go. I can stop by later this afternoon. My mom gave me your new address. Will you be around?
Kason: Yeah.
Tucking my phone into my pocket, I head back inside. Jillian had suggested spending a little girl time together shopping in Hyde Park after our breakfast, and when I step in to the dining room, she’s already clearing the table.
“Let me help you with that,” I offer and then start grabbing the food to take into the kitchen.
“Is everything good?” Micah asks when he pulls me aside.
“He was just texting to apologize.”
Micah pushes his fingers through my hair, and his eyes soften, knowing how upset I was that day and how much I wanted to go back to Miami. We both felt obligated to wait until after the funeral, so we stayed. But it hurt to know that my presence, even though Kason asked for it, made the situation worse.
“You feel better now?”
I nod. “This whole trip is just . . .”
“Uncomfortable?” he says, completing my thought.
I rest my head against him as we wrap our arms around each other, absorbing this moment of peace. There’s nothing uncomfortable between the two of us, and I never appreciated it more than I do now.
“After your mom and I get back, I told Kason I would stop by to check in on him.”
Micah draws back with furrowed brows. “You told him you’re going out with my mom?”
“No. I was just telling you that. But, as much as I’m not looking forward to it, I do need to have that conversation with him. I mean, I don’t want him to find out when he sees us at the funeral.”
“I agree. He needs to know beforehand.” He then wavers. “I’m wondering if I should even go. It’s not like he’s expecting me. We haven’t spoken in years.”
“You aren’t going for him, Micah. I’m the one who needs you there. This whole thing is upsetting, and I don’t want to be without you.” He’s my fiancé, and I don’t want to hide him. Not that I want to flaunt him, either, but he’s the one I turn to when I need comfort and support. It doesn’t matter that it’s been years since Sharon and I last saw each other, it is still beyond painful to lose her. And now, to attend her funeral, well, it isn’t something I want to go through without having Micah there for me. As awkward as I feel about telling Kason, I know it’s something that needs to be done sooner rather than later.
When he leans down to kiss me, I slip my arms around his neck and giggle against his lips when he straightens and lifts me off my feet.
“I love you,” I mumble against his soft kiss, and when he pulls back, he returns my sentiment, saying with a smirk, “I love you, too, Guppy.”
“Look at you two,” his mother croons when she steps into the room.
I tap his shoulder to set me down, but instead, he goes in once more and kisses me for show. As I lose myself to a fit of laughter, he sets me down and ravishes my neck as I swat his arm. He eventually relents with a cocky grin but refuses to drop his arms from around me.
“You’re obnoxious, you know that?”
“How could I forget? You’ve been reminding me of it for years,” he teases, and I can’t help myself when I take his face and pull his lips back to mine for a sweet kiss.
“All right now. Let go of her so we can go shopping.”
With one last peck, he says, “I’ll see you later.”
Jillian and I head out. We drive over to Hyde Park and spend the next few hours wandering in and out of the various shops, buying things here and there. We chat about wedding stuff and the upcoming move. It’s always nice when I’m around Micah’s parents. I’ve known them since I was in high school, so it was just another point of ease when Micah and I started getting closer. Everything felt like it was already in line for that transition, and the two of us fell into it naturally, even though it took time.
When we return to the house, Micah is ready to go, telling me, “I hope you don’t mind, but I made plans with an old buddy of mine to go skimming down at Indian Rocks.”
“That’s fine. I’m just going to stop by Kason’s to talk to him and then go back home.”
We say our goodbyes, and when we get into the car, Micah chuckles, “I think you kind of broke her heart.”
“Whose? What are you talking about?”
“My mom. The wedding. You know that woman lives to throw events.”
I slip my hand into his. “You really think she’s upset about it?”
He shakes his head. “Maybe a little, but she’ll be okay.”
“Well, what do you want? Everyone keeps asking me, but I don’t think I’ve ever asked you.”
He pulls up to a red light. “Honestly, I want exactly what you want. Small. Simple. You and me and our parents. That’s all I need.”
“Are you sure?”
“Babe,” he says, “I’ll say it for forever: you’re enough. You’re more than enough and all I’ll ever need to be happy. I don’t need any of that other shit, nor do I want it.”
He pulls the biggest smile out of me.
“It’s you and me,” he says, and that’s all I need.
“I can’t wait to marry you.”