Mom didn’t say much to me on the phone, only stressing that I had to come to Tampa as soon as I could. My initial instinct was to say no, but she sounded really upset, which worried me more than I wanted to admit. She’d kept up her end of the bargain, never once mentioning Kason, so if she’s breaking that promise, something must be really bad.
Micah reaches over the console and takes my anxious hand in his as we drive along Alligator Alley. “What has you so jittery?”
I look at my future and see no sign of tension on his face as he drives us back to Tampa. When I hung up the phone with my mom this morning, I hopped online to find all the flights for the day were sold out, so we decided to hop in the car. “It’s just weird,” I tell him honestly. It’s been so long since I’ve even heard his name, and now all I can think about is what could be so bad that my mom needs me to step in. “I wonder how much he’s changed.”
“I’m sure a lot, babe. It’s been nearly four years since you’ve seen him.” He gives my hand a little squeeze. “Is that what you’re nervous about? Seeing him again?”
“Kind of.” I look down at my hand he’s holding and admire the platinum promise of his love that’s wrapped around my finger. It’s two karats of sparkling brilliance that holds the sentiment of his affections that brought me back to life. When I asked my mother to make that promise to me, it was because I didn’t trust myself not to run back to Kason. I needed to cut him out of my life as much as I possibly could. But even today, he still holds a tender spot in my heart. He always will. He was my first love, and that’s never going to change.
I’ve moved on, though. I learned to love again, and I’m planning a life with Micah. He’s an easy man to love, with no baggage or issues. He’s uncomplicated and has an ungodly amount of strength to carry the weight of my soul. I just can’t help but wonder what it’s going to be like to come face to face with my past.
This drive does nothing but allow my mind to wander back to when I used to spy on Kason from my bedroom window while he cleaned the pool. Resting my head against the window, memories of our time together that I locked away flit through my head.
“It’s understandable that you’d be a little anxious,” Micah reassures.
I give him a smile, so thankful of his understanding. We’ve been together much longer than what Kason and I had been. Micah knows me through and through. I’ve exposed so much to him in a way I wasn’t prepared to do when I was with Kason.
“You don’t think it’s silly? My being nervous to see my old high school boyfriend?”
“With the way you two broke up and left things . . . no, I don’t think it’s silly. I mean, it’s even awkward on my part. I used to be best friends with the guy, and that all went to shit. Now look,” he says, bringing our hands up and looking at my ring. “We’re together and getting married. So yeah, it’s a strange situation we’re walking into.”
“I guess that’s another thing I’m worried about, wondering how he’s going to react to us.”
“It’s been years, Guppy,” he says with a smirk. “I’m sure he’s over it and has moved on.”
I smile, loving that he still uses his pet name for me. “Do you know how much I love you?”
“It better be with all the fucking love you have because that’s how much I love you.”
By the time we arrive at my mom’s house, the sun has already begun its descent. As we’re retrieving our bags from the trunk, Mom opens the front door with a loving, “You made it.” She pulls me into a tight hug and then moves to embrace Micah. “How was the drive?”
“Uneventful,” he tells her.
We head inside, and Micah drops our belongings at the foot of the stairs. He’s been here countless times over the years. In fact, he was with me the first time I came back home after the move. I wasn’t ready, but Micah insisted. He showed me I was stronger than the memories of this town.
“So what is it, Mom?” I ask, eager for her to give me answers to all the questions that have been swirling in my head.
I watch her face fall, and she takes my hand. “We should sit.”
The three of us take a seat on the couch with me in the middle. My stomach twists as my mother struggles to speak.
“Mom, just say it. What’s going on?”
“It’s Kason’s mother,” she says, touching my knee.
I bring my hand to my mouth as a sinking feeling consumes me. I remember Kason telling me about her liver failure, and I’ll never forget the day she passed out and was rushed to the hospital. “Is she . . .”
“It isn’t good. She’s on life support.”
“Oh God.”
“She’s been really sick for a while, and it hasn’t been easy on Kason. They put her on life support a few days ago.”
“What happened to her?” Micah asks, and when I look at him, I answer, “She has liver failure.”
“I’m worried about Kason. He’s her power of attorney, but he refuses to make any decisions. I’ve tried talking to him, but he’s completely shut down. He only leaves her bedside long enough to go home and shower.”
A piece of my heart cracks, knowing his mother is the only family he has. I’ve been in the dark about him for so long that I don’t know at what capacity my mother’s relationship is with him or if he still works for her. I’m clueless as to the whole situation, but one thing I am certain of is that when I left him on that beach, all he had was his mom and my mom. I always feared him being alone, which is why I begged my mom to stay in touch with him.
“Can anything be done?” Micah questions.
My mom shakes her head as her eyes fill with tears. “He’s the only one who can make the call to pull her off life support, but he won’t do it. I’ve tried everything, but he won’t listen to me. He’s just stuck, and I’m really worried about him.”
“What does he say?”
“Nothing. But when her health started seriously declining, he started acting really strange. There were days he wouldn’t even come into the office, and he’s become insanely irritable. It’s like he’s on drugs or something.”
“Drugs?”
“I mean, I don’t think he is, but I don’t know how else to explain it. He’s spiraling out of control,” she tells me.
“What is it you want me to do?”
“Talk to him,” she says desperately. “He doesn’t have anyone else, and he isn’t responding to me. But he needs to talk. As hard as it’s going to be, he needs to let go of his mother. And if there is something going on with him, we need to know so we can help.”
I reach for Micah’s hand and hold on to it tightly. “I don’t know what I can do or if he’ll even listen to me.”
“Will you try?”
“What if I make things worse? He might not even want to see me after how I ran away from him. I wouldn’t be surprised if he hates me.”
“If I thought there were a chance of that being true, I never would’ve called you.”
Dropping my head, I release a tense breath. Nerves prick from every corner of my body, but as uneasy as this whole situation is, the last thing I want is for Kason to be suffering.
“What about his friends?”
“I don’t know if he has any. He’s consumed by work and school,” she tells me, and I’m not surprised. That guy was always so determined to make something of himself. But he needs a friend. Just the thought of him suffering alone causes my ribs to clench.
“Hey,” Micah says gently, wrapping his free arm around my shoulders. “You knew you’d be seeing him. That’s why we came, right?”
With a mountain of hesitance, I give him a nod. “I’m just scared I’m going to make it worse.”
“I don’t think your mom would’ve called you if she didn’t think you could help.”
I turn back to my mother, who nods. “I truly think he’ll listen to you.”
“Where is he?”
“Either at Tampa General or at home.”
“They still have the same apartment?”
“No. He moved out a couple of years ago,” she tells me. “He lives in a condo not too far from here now.”
“Where?”
“Channelside. I’ll write down the address for you.”
She stands and walks into the kitchen to grab a pen.
“How does he afford that?” I ask as Micah and I join her.
She scribbles the address on a pad of paper, saying, “You told me to take care of him.”
“You pay his rent?” Micah’s tone comes out a little sharp.
“No.” She tears off the sheet of paper and hands it to me, telling Micah, “I pay his salary.”
“Must be a hefty salary.”
“Micah,” I scold lightly, but I can completely understand his annoyance over my mom being so obviously close to my ex-boyfriend.
“It’s okay.” She then looks to Micah. “Kason is an employee and a friend of mine. But you,” she says as her lips spread into a smile, “you are about to marry my daughter, my favorite in the world, which makes you my second favorite.”
“You think I’m jealous?”
“Nope. Not at all,” she quips.
He chuckles. One thing I can say about my mom is that she means it when she says she adores Micah. She sees how happy he makes me and how much we love each other.
“I should head out. Can I have the keys?”
“You’re going alone?” he says in surprise.
“I think it’s probably best. I don’t think now is the time to announce our relationship to him.”
“You’re right.” He leans in and gives me a soft kiss. “Are you okay?”
Running my hand along his jaw, I nod with an affectionate, “I love you.”
“I’ll wait up.”
He then hands me the keys as my mom says, “I’d try the hospital first.”
It’s a short drive over to Davis Island where the hospital is. When I park, I make the decision to slip off my engagement ring, not wanting to risk the chance of him seeing it. I then grab the piece of paper my mom wrote Sharon’s room number on and start heading that way. With each step I take, I grow more and more anxious. My palms sweat as I check in with the security desk, and when I’m granted access and the double doors open, I swear I feel my heart in my throat. It’s unsettling to be walking toward the person I ran away from so suddenly. There was never a goodbye between us. I just left him.
When I approach the small window to the private room, I peer through the blinds and notice all the machines first. My eyes go straight toward the woman in the bed, and I barely recognize that it’s Sharon. She’s nothing like how I remember her. There are so many wires and tubes that she’s hooked up to. Her hair is so thin I can see her scalp, and she’s withered away to nothing more than yellow skin on top of frail bones.
Movement draws my attention, and every atom in my body freezes when I see him. My heart catapults into a rhythm that doesn’t make any sense. His face is hidden, but I know it’s him. He sits in a chair next to his mother’s bed. Hunched over, he holds her boney hand, and his head rests on his bent arm that’s on the mattress.
I stare, because I don’t know what I should do. Everything inside me is calling me to go to him, but I’m paralyzed. After all this time I put between us, he’s here—the guy I never expected to see again.
Just like when I was seventeen, I watch him through a window. He then lifts his head, revealing his face, which holds so many wonderful memories. In an instant, my past becomes my present. Though his features have matured and he wears day-old stubble, it’s still him.
My heart stalls the moment our eyes catch. His forehead creases in puzzlement, but it only takes a second for clarity to smooth the lines away. When my heart finally triple-beats back into action, I regain strength that pulls my feet off the ground and leads me into the room. He doesn’t speak. He only stares at me through his swollen, red eyes, which harbor an undeniable amount of pain.
All I can do is watch as his eyes fill with tears, and when they spill down his cheeks, I move effortlessly across the room. With a few quick steps, I drop to my knees in front of him, and he grabs ahold of me so quickly, so fiercely, so needy. “Adaline?” he whispers in disbelief, and I hug him as best as I can, with all my strength while he clings to me, wetting my shoulder as he cries.
Before I know it, I’m crying, too. There are a million reasons attached to every tear that falls, reasons he may or may not know. But more than anything, I cry because I never truly comprehended just how much I’ve missed the comfort of his arms when they’re wrapped around me. With everything that has changed, this feeling still remains.