Ryder
“Thank you, Ry.” Her voice is squeaky, and I really want to shove my cock in her mouth to shut her up.
One day, a woman will come along that won’t get on my nerves the second she opens her mouth.
This is getting old. I should cut the shit out.
“This is gonna be great, Ry,” she croons.
What’s this girl’s name again? Ah, hell, she wants to feel special, and I can’t even manage to remember her name. Lani? Lori? Laura? Something like that … I think.
Already she has cost me two weekends since she wouldn’t put out last weekend. I made it to second base before she stopped me.
“Ryder Davenport, you have quite the reputation. I can’t be just another notch on some college boy’s bed post. I want to meet your friends. I need to mean something.” My head pounds from hearing her in my mind all over again.
Whiney broads aren’t my thing. I should walk away. My head says this isn’t worth it, but my cock wants to fuck her.
Brayden, my best friend and roommate, is going to find this entertaining once we arrive at the restaurant. I know he will have hours of jokes, all at my expense. Well, really, this broad’s expense since I don’t give a fuck. I get off on the challenge.
I will introduce her to my buddy, then get her in the car. With my fingers working their magic, I will whisper in her ear how she’s the only one Brayden has ever given me the all-clear for. I’m going to make her neediness work to my advantage. Then I will have her just enough on edge that she will beg for my dick. Then tomorrow, she will be yesterday’s delight and another memory.
I send him a quick text to see if we can stop by for introductions. Maggie, Brayden’s girlfriend, and Brayden went out for an early dinner with Maggie’s roommate and best friend, Dina.
Maggie has been spending more time at our place because she doesn’t like the fucker Dina’s dating. Don’t know the dude, don’t know the broad; it’s not my place to give a shit. What I do know is Brayden, and he’s happy with Maggie, so I’m happy for my friend.
Brayden texts me back with a “Sure thing,” and I text back explaining how this chick wants to feel like she’s more than a fuck and wants to meet my roommate. To that, he replies, “Oh yeah, I’ll lay it on thick.”
I’m in trouble.
I know Brayden’s laughing his ass off at this. If it gets me balls deep in this girl’s tight heat tonight, so be it. The things I do to get a new piece of ass.
As the saying goes, don’t hate the player, hate the game.
Girls are raised with a misconception of Prince Charming coming to take away all their problems. The thing is, Prince Charming doesn’t exist in real life; that’s why he lives in fairy tales. Like Cinderella’s stepsisters trying to make the shoe fit, women can’t make men conform into a certain ideal. When it’s right, the slipper will slide on. A real man will always remember it’s made of glass and it must be handled with care. That is the reality of love right there—when it’s right, you still have to be gentle and take care of it in its fragile state, but it can work.
I never bought into the fairy tale bullshit as a child or now as an adult. I believe in settling down one day. I just haven’t found a woman who intrigues me enough for more than one night, much less to give her a lifetime.
Add to women’s emotional state, their ideals about men is also tied to the delicate balance of daddy/daughter relationships, and men don’t stand a chance. Daddy’s girls first love is their dad. These girls are confident. They are in no rush to accept anything less than real emotion, real love, because their dad gave them that security.
The flip side to that are the ones with daddy issues, the women whose deadbeat dad walked away without teaching them real love, only abandonment. These girls are usually easy and are looking for a connection in any way they can. Even if it’s just a fleeting moment, a rush, they want to feel love. After a few heartbreaks, they become real men haters.
Either way, from childhood, most little girls dream of the day they find their forever in a man. This makes it easy for them to fall for the many lines a hormone-driven dude, such as myself, give them. They strive so much for that connection, that security, that they believe just about anything you say. What they know to be a lie, they convince themselves they can change in you. They can overcome the bad boy and change the player into a one-woman man. Surely, they can love you enough to change you. Love conquers all, after all. At least, that’s what they are told from the time they are hosting pretend tea parties.
I’m young, not ready to be tied down or deal with the delicate nature of love and a serious relationship. I do believe in love, commitment, and forever. I just know that now is not the time in my life for such seriousness. Until that day comes, I want to taste the variety of women in the world.
I have spent a week texting this chick—Lani, Lori, Laura, what’s-her-name—making her feel special. It’s not enough, though. She says she wants to really feel like she knows me. I love a challenge, so fine, she can meet my friends.
We walk into the restaurant where Brayden is having dinner with Maggie and Dina, a girl I have yet to meet. I can’t help feeling on edge. There is an energy in the air the minute I step inside the space. At first, I tell myself it’s because I have never given into the whims of a broad meeting my friends, my family, this sort of shit. Then my eyes land on her.
I see her—Dina—sitting with them, and I am immediately consumed. She is a magnet, drawing me over toward her. Never have I felt that instant pull to someone.
The diner is small, and they are in a back corner booth. Maggie and Dina are both smiling while Brayden has his back to me as we approach. Dina is a down-home, gorgeous girl. Her makeup is subtle, and she has natural-looking blonde hair. She carries herself in a casual-comfortable look. To be honest, I think I would find her sexy in a paper bag.
She has on a black shirt that dips down just enough to hint at her cleavage. Her curves—gorgeous curves—are in all the right places with her skinny jeans that hug all the way down. She is skinny, but with boobs and an ass that are definitely enough for any man to enjoy. Her flat tummy is calling out for me to run my hand up it to cup her very full breasts or down to her hips to slide around and scoop her luscious ass.
When she turns and looks at me, I get lost in the ocean blues and greens of her eyes. I feel like she is looking directly into my soul.
The world seems to stop around us as I am pulled into Dina and everything that is simply her.
“Well, hello, beautiful.”
Her face stills, the smile gone, and she tenses.
I continue on, trying to read her.
“You must be Dina, Maggie’s roommate.” I stick out my hand for her to shake, wanting to feel her little hand in mine. “I’m Ryder Davenport. It’s nice to finally meet you.”
She sticks out her hand to shake mine. “I’m Dina, Dina Fowler,” she stammers out nervously.
We don’t get beyond the casual hellos and introductions before some prick is manhandling my Dina out of her seat.
Whoa. My Dina? Where did that come from?
I don’t know why, but my adrenaline and instincts are now in overdrive. I am consumed with a fire coursing through my veins.
This asshole has his hands wrapped in her long hair and is yanking her out of the booth, and the look in his eyes is of pure venom, poisonous anger.
I step in, and Maggie jumps up, but before we can make a scene, Dina puts her hand up to stop us.
“It’s okay. We have to leave.”
The douche releases her hair at her words and grabs her wrist, making it turn white in a painful-looking hold, half-dragging Dina away.
“Dina, don’t go with him!” is all I can call out before they are gone.
Maggie is crying as Brayden tries to quickly settle the check. Frantically, Maggie pulls out her phone and calls Dina over and over again, with no answer.
“Maggie, we’ll go find her,” I try to console as Brayden tosses bills down for a tip. Then we rush out together.
The blonde with me grabs at my arm, but I shake her off, leaving her there as I climb into Brayden’s car behind Maggie. She is the least of my worries now. I have never cared to call back a broad, and I damn sure don’t care if she tries to call me later.
“I’ll go in and see if she’s there,” Brayden explains to Maggie. “You stay at the apartment if she’s not, and Ryder and I’ll go to Michael’s pad.”
Maggie nods as she continuously tries to call Dina.
When we arrive at the apartment, Brayden escorts Maggie inside while I stay out front, keeping an eye out for the prick, so I can shove him around a bit like he did to Dina.
Adrenaline, anger, disgust, rage, and an emotion I can’t even begin to describe well up inside me.
Brayden comes out almost immediately. The look on his face conveys horror and pure hatred. My boy is a firecracker with a lit fuse, about to blow. His demeanor sends me into overdrive.
Through gritted teeth, Brayden says, “His name is Michael, if you haven’t figured that out yet, and he’s roughed up her face.” He indicates toward the girls’ apartment, letting me know Dina is inside. “Maggie swears this is the first time, but I don’t give a shit. He needs to be taught a lesson. He’s gone. No sign of him inside.”
“How long she been dealin’ with the dick?” I ask, suddenly wishing I knew everything about Maggie’s roommate.
“Not sure, bro. But as long as I’ve been seein’ Maggie, she’s been with him. Maggie hates him. She leaves or hides out in her room when he’s over. She says he’s changed Dina. But with the history Dina has, Maggie doesn’t want to push her friend.”
We spend hours searching for that fucker, yet we don’t find him that night. As a result, Brayden and I decide to skip classes the next two days to look for him.
We both fucked around a lot our freshman year and are taking summer courses to get back on track. If it adds another semester to our college time, so be it. The situation isn’t ideal, but this fucker needs to learn a lesson about putting his hands on women.
Eventually, we have to back off after Maggie asks us to. Dina feels like Michael is sorry and won’t do anything like this again. Maggie, Brayden, and I don’t buy it. We also know it’s a situation where, if she’s not ready to leave, she won’t, and there’s not a damn thing we can do about it.
I feel the weight of the world on my chest.
From what Brayden has shared with me, Dina lost her parents in an accident, and Michael is the only person she is comfortable with outside of Maggie and her family.
There is this innocence and strength in her. I don’t know her, but I feel her. It’s crazy to me, yet it also drives me.
Dina is broken, alone, and so fragile.
There I go again, attaching myself to Dina, like she would ever have anything to do with me.
I don’t know why she has such a pull on me, but I feel like she’s meant to be mine.
I have lived my life as a bachelor, waiting for a woman to come along and keep my attention. Dina has it. I have never given any thought to a future with one woman, until her. I need to get my life straight, so when Dina is ready, I can be the man she needs and wants. No matter what the future holds, it’s time to go with my gut, follow my heart as they say, and see where this can lead.
The more I think on everything she’s endured, the more I want to be the one to ease her burdens and pains.
***
For months, I keep my distance, watching Dina from afar. She thinks she hides the swelling, the bruises, the marks, the tears, but I see beyond the fake smiles and makeup. I see how she carries herself—looking utterly lost and damaged. Brayden tells me often about Maggie being afraid for her. Each of us are at a loss as to what to do for her.
The longer I hide in the shadows, the more I feel like I need to save her from herself. She smiles less and less. She goes out only when necessary. Her eyes are puffy like she’s cried many nights.
It fuels my anger to know that the man she loves is causing her pain.
My chest aches. I feel so helpless. One thing I know is, you can’t help someone until they are ready to help themselves. I can’t make her leave him, as much as I want to. I will, however, make damn sure she has all the support she needs to pick up the pieces once she’s ready.
I have cut back on my man whoring. I’m currently only hooking up with Val. A man has needs, after all. Valerie and I have history, but we have an understanding. Tonight, she wants to hookup, and I’m not about to complain, even if Dina is the one on my mind when I sink deep inside Valerie.
Maggie and Brayden are with Val and me for drinks, when Maggie realizes she needs her computer, which is back at her apartment. We stop by since she is planning to stay over.
That’s when we see her—my Dina—cowering on the ground while that bastard kicks her.
His face is pure venom, and hers is devastation.
Her eyes are quickly swelling shut, her nose has a stream of blood pouring out of it, and her bottom lip is a swollen, busted mess.
Seeing her bleeding and looking so helpless snaps something inside me. At this moment, I don’t care if I go to jail. Michael’s ass is mine.
Maggie and Brayden rush over to Dina, scooping her up to take her to the hospital, I assume. Me, I have one target, one objective.
He stands up, rolling his shoulders back, and meets my eyes.
Red. I see red.
He smiles. “My pussy, my problems.”
I don’t speak. I draw back and slam my fist into his face.
He steps back on a grunt, and before he can steady or square up, I slam him with an uppercut.
I hear his teeth clank and my knuckles crunch as I swing with my other hand to make contact with his ribs. He grabs his side while I knee him in the nuts, causing him to double over.
Dropping my elbow to his back, I lose myself in the moment, in the fight, in my retribution.
He’s gasping for air as I kick him in the ribs when he falls over to his side on the concrete where Dina was just laying.
Straddling him, I take hit after hit. His nose bleeds and sits crooked on his face. There are cuts on his forehead and over both of his eyes that are now swollen shut as I continue to pound away.
“Smile now, motherfucker!” I roar while I keep hitting him. Once I start, I can’t stop, even as he begs me to let him go.
When his face is unrecognizable through the swelling, I finally back off enough so we can come to an understanding.
“Dina is not yours. She’s a memory. You don’t call, you don’t write, you don’t even send a damn smoke signal, or the pain you feel now will be pleasure compared to what I’ll do next.”
He nods, choking on his blood, before turning his head to the side to spit it out, along with two teeth.
I stand and wait as he does.
“Stay the fuck away, Michael.”
He doesn’t speak. He stumbles away, grabbing his side where I’m pretty sure I broke a few ribs.
Good. I hope the pain is a reminder to leave Dina alone.
“Your dick is good, but this is not the shit I need for cock, Ryder,” Valerie complains, walking off with her phone in hand, calling her sister or a cab to get her.
I don’t give a shit. She needs to leave. My focus is on Dina and the piece of shit that put his hands on her.
I sure hope he stays away. Otherwise, I will kill him.
I wait impatiently inside Dina’s apartment for Brayden and Maggie’s return from the hospital. I wait overnight, just sitting there, thinking of nothing but her—my Dina. And the moment she enters, I gently pull her close.
I shouldn’t be here. My knuckles are busted, the adrenaline is still rushing through me, and to be honest, I’m afraid she will be afraid of me.
That’s something I can’t handle. I’m the last person she needs to ever fear. It would kill me if she did.
She seems in a daze as I slowly run my hand over her hair. She doesn’t hug me back, but she doesn’t yank away. It’s like she’s numb.
I whisper to her so she doesn’t have to feel like everyone can hear. “Never again will he come around or hurt you. This I promise. He’s not going to call or come by. There are no apologies or gifts this time, Dina. Be safe, be happy, let him go, and start over. I know the shit he’s pulled. Maggie has cried countless times for you. This is your chance to be free. You are too beautiful, inside and out, for that bastard.”
With that, I leave before I do something crazy, like kiss her. She seems lost, and I’m not sure she’s taking it all in. Kissing her would seal her to me, something I don’t think either of us are ready for.
***
Waking up the next day, I have a message from Maggie. Dina finally did it. She’s finally ready. I don’t think she realizes just how strong she is to face this, to walk away from the hold Michael had on her.
Brayden and I help the girls move that afternoon. Dina picks up a new phone and a new car so Michael can’t call her or “accidently” bump into her somewhere. Maggie says Dina is numb, yet serious about putting Michael and their relationship behind her.
I know she’s nowhere near ready for a new relationship yet. I will wait as long as it takes for Dina to find herself again. Once she’s ready, though, I will make sure I am the man of her fairy tales, dreams, and fantasies. It’s her. I don’t know why, I don’t know how, but I just know she’s where I begin and end.
My grandparents got married a week after they met. Grams swore she just knew. This is how it feels to see Dina. Even in a state most would run from, I see beauty in her.
Michael not only physically broke Dina, but mentally crushed her. That’s what men like him do. It’s not about overpowering a woman, not about the physical violence; it’s about control, power. And the best way to hold control is to make their women feel inferior, weak, to make them unable to be of value to anyone, including themselves.
Physically, women are stronger than most acknowledge. They will take all the physical pain you can dish out once they break mentally. Then they don’t have the fight left to push back.
My grandmother raised me after my mother couldn’t get herself out of a bad situation. It killed her, literally. I have my own experience with a man who isn’t a real man but a bully who takes his agony out on the ones he claims to love.
A woman is a treasured rose—hardy, sturdy, full of layers, and absolutely beautiful in any color or age, from a bud to a blossom. Like roses, women have thorns to protect the outside, but their hearts are delicate petals that are easily bruised and scarred. When the right one comes along, you have to water, shade, and protect it, to watch it blossom and bloom.
I wish I could heal the hurt for Dina. I wish I could make her see herself the way I see her.
All in time, all in time. I just have to be patient and let her heal herself.
For her, I will wait a lifetime if I need to.