Casual
Maggie
I can’t believe I’m actually going on a date with Brayden again. Part of me wonders if I’m borrowing more trouble by opening up to him again.
With our history, I feel like I owe it to the love we had to reach out and make sure he’s really okay. No matter where tonight leaves, Brayden means something to me. He always will.
I decide to dress in a simple, denim skirt that falls just above my knee and a hunter green halter top. It’s Brayden. I don’t need to go overboard. I also don’t know what I want from this, so it’s best to keep it comfortable.
The doorbell rings as I put on my flip-flops, something every Carolina girl must have. Then I open the door to find Brayden standing there in khaki cargo shorts, a blue polo shirt that’s not tucked in, and flip flops. Apparently, he understands tonight needs to be casual, too.
I get into his new-to-him, used Honda, which feels strange. It’s a nice enough Civic, definitely modified for street racing, just not at all what Brayden typically likes. He loves classic, American muscle, so I know this is simply a result of his drug use and what he can afford. He belongs in his 1970 Dodge Charger. Me? I would love to drive this car.
We arrive at the restaurant and order, almost as if nothing has changed between us. I feel at ease. It’s just like home.
“You look good,” I tell him sincerely. He has toned up and his eyes don’t look so sunken in.
As I take him in, I can see subtle differences that maybe I should have picked up on before. In the past he gained weight and then lost weight with no change to his diet. In all the years together, Brayden has had strong teeth until the last year where he’s had two break off during meals. The biggest change was in his eyes. When he was using, his eyes would seem almost sunken in. Now, there is life back to them and he doesn’t look like he’s burning the candle at both ends anymore. It was so easy to blame work and stress rather than face that I was in love with an addict.
“I’m getting by. Ryder keeps me busy at work and hitting the gym with him.”
I study him again. He looks refreshed, healthy. It soothes my soul.
“I see the wheels turning in your mind,” he tells me. “I’m clean. I’ll take a drug test right now if you want me to.” He sighs, rubbing his hand down his face. “I fucked up. I know it, you know it. We just have to see if we can get past it. I’m willing to do whatever it takes to have you back in my life, even if only as my friend.”
I smile. “I think that’s where we need to start.”
Our meals come and we eat. I find my body craving his touch. It’s been too long, and he has always turned me on in a way no one else can.
We finish dinner and arrive back at my house, finding Harrison isn’t home yet, so I invite Brayden in.
I don’t mean to advance things, but I suddenly find myself needing to kiss him.
Sex is a release, I have never been one to overthink it. I haven’t had sex in months and knowing what Brayden can do for me only makes me want it more.
Before he even has a chance to get all the way into the living room, I take him by the hand and lead him to my bedroom. As soon as we get in the door, I kiss him with every ounce of passion that is burning inside of me. This is not planned, it’s not my intention, but I don’t want to stop. I only want him, here and now.
I push him down on my bed, kissing him with fervor. Then I grip the hem of his shirt and begin to pull it over his head, noticing his small beer belly is gone. He may not be as tone as my brother or Ryder, but there is definitely a difference in Brayden’s body, and it makes me even hotter.
Oh, my God, Brayden is here, in my bed, now only clothed in his boxers, and he is letting me be in charge.
I like this. I like this a lot.
I kiss him again as he pulls my shirt off and slides my skirt up, cupping my ass in his hands.
“Never any panties, Maggie …” he whispers.
I’m quickly lost in the sensations of what is purely Brayden as his fingers find their way to my core, rubbing my clit in a teasing motion before he finally inserts one into me. A soft moan escapes my lips. Then he rolls me over onto my back before he slowly removes my skirt, leaving me lying naked in front of him.
I smirk. “Like what you see, Brayden?”
He smiles. “I love what I see, Maggie. Always have, always will.”
He begins to caress, kiss, and suck on my breasts, and the sensations wash over me, a passion so consuming I feel as if I am drowning in the emotion radiating off him. He then kisses his way down, reaching my inner thighs where he slowly licks around my intimate lips. Spreading me, he nuzzles himself down as he begins to torture me with pleasure, using only his tongue. The skills this man has with his mouth are beyond any other I have ever experienced.
I feel my orgasm building and can’t hold back. As he sucks my clit, he inserts two fingers, slowly stretching and flicking at my insides. This pushes me over the top as I cry out, “Take me, Brayden, now.”
“No, Maggie, you’re not ready for that from us. Right now, you think you want me, but it’s release you want, baby. I’ll give you that a hundred times over, but I won’t take you until you are really ready.”
I sit up at his response. “I want you, enough said,” I say with a bitchy tone. We may have problems, but sex has never been one of them, and I don’t want him to make it one now.
He looks at me with unspoken emotion in his eyes. “So, if I ask you to give me another chance and get back together with me, will your answer be yes? The only way I’m gonna make love to you is when I am with you again … all the way. I want to make love, not have sex with you, and I want to do it for the rest of my life.”
I say nothing, causing him to get up and dress himself. He looks over at me and merely stares for a moment before he tosses me my clothes.
“See, Maggie? You don’t know what you want. I’ll gladly fool around with you and give you orgasm after orgasm, but the next time we have sex, we will be committed to our relationship and future together. I’ll make love to your mind, body, and soul.” He adjusts his shirt as he says, “I love you, and I’ll wait as long as it takes.”
I love that he knows I still have things to sort through. As much as this situation reminds me of everything we lost, it’s good to know Brayden is clearheaded enough to stop us from rushing into things.
“Dinner was great. I’d love to take you out again sometime.” With that, he leans over, kisses me gently, and then walks away.
***
Brayden
Walking out her door is the hardest thing I have had to do in a very long time. However, Maggie is confused, unsure, and I won’t take advantage of her.
Now I’m seriously on edge, and the loneliness of my apartment consumes me.
I just wanted to have an evening with Maggie as my friend, but when she kissed me, I ceased in my ability to think. Maybe I should have stopped things then. I’m trying to do the right thing here, but now it will rack my brain all night.
What am I going to do if Maggie decides she really is over me? What if she never speaks to me again after tonight?
I made a mess of things again. I never should have let it go so far.
My phone rings, and I cringe as I look at the caller ID.
“Yes, Mom,” I answer.
“Don’t call me that. I am not your mother. I got some letter in the mail for you. I opened it. Something about completing rehab. I burned it in the fireplace.”
Great, the paper I need for court has now been burned. I must have been distracted by my withdrawals and cravings when I gave them her address instead of Ryder’s.
“You’ve gone and done it now. Making Bianca go in your place wasn’t enough for you, huh? You just had to go and waste your life doing drugs? Really, you truly are a piece of shit. I don’t know why it couldn’t have been you that night.
“You’re the reason your father left us. He didn’t want any more children after we had Bianca. Then he comes back, and you decide to be a bastard, and your sister ends up the dead one.”
“I’m sorry, Mom,” I say, knowing it doesn’t really matter what I say. I’m always wrong.
“I am not your mother, you bastard!” she screams. Then the line goes dead.
If I could go back, I would make sure Bianca was home that night. My sister would still be alive, happy and vibrant, without a care in the world, and my mother would be happy. I ruined everything for them. Everyone would have been better off if it had been me.
I want to make it all disappear. I want to numb the pain.
These thoughts swirl on repeat in my head until there is a knock at my door. I open it to find Valerie standing in front of me with a strange grin.