Rock Bottom
Brayden
After a quick shower, I make my way out to the back shop to pull out one of the cots.
Maggie and I didn’t say anything else to each other. Honestly, there isn’t anything to say. I knew it was over. My decisions cost me love, acceptance, and family. I did this, and I have to accept it.
Harrison joins me not too long after that. It’s now well past midnight, and I want nothing more than to go to sleep. However, I know I have to deal with her grumpy big brother.
Without even a hello, he starts, “What’s the deal with you and my sister?”
“Simple,” I sharply retort. “I messed up bigger than shit, and now there is no more me and your sister. What’s your next question?”
He looks at me, almost as if he’s judging the integrity of my answer, before the reality of my situation seems to dawn on him, and I almost sense some sympathy from him.
“No more you and Maggie, huh? Then what’s the situation with Ryder and Dina? I’ve only met Ryder a few times through you; is he going to fuck her over?” His frustration is understandable. “Birds of a feather flock together; is he the same kind of fucked up man you are?”
“Really, Lawson, really! It’s way too late for this bullshit. Your sister doesn’t want to be with me right now, possibly not ever. As for Ryder and Dina … Well, she is blissfully happy, and shouldn’t that be what matters, given all she’s been through? If you want to know what kind of guy Ryder is and what his intentions are with Dina, ask him your-damn-self!” I stare him down.
One thing I learned early on with the Lawson men, they respect a man who holds his ground. I fucked up, I own it, and I won’t take Ryder down with me.
“Point made. Lunch tomorrow; you, me, Dad, and Ryder. I want to beat the shit out of you for hurting my sister, but you seem to be beating yourself up enough, so get some sleep.” Then he’s gone as quickly as he came.
Left alone with nothing but my thoughts, I just let myself drown in emotions.
My mom is right; it should have been me. I’m no good for anyone. Normally, I would want the escape, the high, but right now, I’m so broken even that won’t numb the pain.
I sit up on the cot, knowing there will be no sleep for me tonight.
This must be what they refer to as rock bottom.
***
Maggie
I wake up from the little sleep I managed, still full of conflicting emotions. I thought by making a decision concerning Brayden I would feel relief. Instead, I feel empty.
I make my way to the kitchen for breakfast where my mom gives me a knowing glance.
My dad comes around and hugs me. “Where’s Brayden at now?”
“He spent the night outside in the shop. He said he would get a hotel. Not sure he has the money. I would like to let him stay here until Ryder leaves or he can find another way back to Charlotte. I don’t want him to go back without Ryder and end up getting high, yet I can’t be with him right now.”
I don’t feel like explaining that I need to find myself, sort some things out. I still love him with every part of my being, but we can’t be together until he’s clean and I know what I want for my future.
Harrison comes in, looking tired, with Tiffany, his on again, off again girlfriend, trailing behind him. He immediately hugs me tightly.
“Your boy is a hot mess out there. You love him, and he loves you, but you don’t need to be together while he’s fighting whatever battle he is fighting in his head.” He backs away from me to go kiss our mother on the cheek.
She makes us an amazing breakfast of country ham, sausage, scrambled eggs, dip eggs for my Dad, grits, and homemade gravy and biscuits.
I eat silently, my mind wandering over to Brayden. I wish things could go back to the beginning when it was all so much easier.
When we first got together, I couldn’t wait for the next kiss, the next call, the next moment I could see him. Now, I still crave him, but I don’t know what to think, say, or do once I’m around him. I miss the time when it was simple between us.
I can’t have him at my family table right now. It’s too raw. The emotions cut too deep. Therefore, Harrison takes him a plate. At least I know he will eat something good this morning.
Tiffany tries for small talk with her annoying, girlie, high-pitched, super fake, rack my nerves voice. She is so snobby about everything, so I just ignore her every word. I can’t believe Harrison brought her home with him.
They met because she is close with Harrison’s buddy Matt. She’s nothing like us. Tiffany is a high-class broad who screams money with her expensive-ass shoes, tailored clothes, and designer handbags.
For this being the first girl to meet our parents since he was in high school, she isn’t what I would consider a match for my big brother. He needs someone more independent and less critical. There is this arrogance around her that I can’t work past.
Harrison is smart, so this can’t be too serious. She must just be a great piece of ass. That has to be it, a good roll in the sheets, because she has nothing upstairs.