Chapter Ten
It Begins
Michael really doesn’t want me to hang out with Maggie anymore. If he had his way, we would live together and Maggie would be a part of my past. I can’t do that to her or myself.
In fact, he feels like the next logical step in our relationship is to live together. I told him he could move in with Maggie and me. He declined, saying he’s not going to be the third wheel to my co-dependency to Maggie. Michael feels that losing my parents should have taught me independence, but instead, I depend on the Lawson family.
Maybe I do. Regardless, I can’t turn my back on Maggie.
When I know she is okay and moving on to the next part of her life, then I will move in with Michael. He may be angry with me, but I just have to deal with his disappointment and pray he will see reason sooner rather than later.
Maggie has been begging me to go out to dinner with her and Brayden, as a double date. They are pretty serious, yet I haven’t spent time with him. What a horrible friend I have been. And not just with her, but her entire family.
I have only checked the box, so to speak, with her and Harrison. The simple hellos, the quick chats in passing, sending an email to Harrison to keep him updated. The people closest to me don’t even get attention from me. Everything is Michael. I know he needs to be a priority, but I have lost touch with where I came from and who I am.
I feel lost. I can’t look in the mirror and see myself anymore. It’s like I’m Dina, Michael’s girlfriend, not Dina Fowler, friend, student, and dreamer.
I know so little of Brayden, other than he goes to school and has a roommate named Ryder. This is a man Maggie talks about marrying, yet I don’t know what he thinks about the future.
I have tried to tell myself she’s on cloud nine with him so I should float with her. Then I feel the loss of my best friend—the late night talks we used to have and going out together on double dates.
Knowing Michael and Maggie aren’t overly friendly with each other, even after all this time together, I make a decision. I don’t tell Michael about dinner.
Maggie says she’s not comfortable around Michael. I can’t say I blame her. Every time the two of them are in a room together, he glares at her or makes fun of her. It’s not funny, but I don’t know what to do about it. Maggie is to the point she leaves before Michael comes over to avoid any issues.
She tries to give me space because he makes me happy, but she is really worried about me being with him. I think she’s just being overly cautious because she cares about me.
I’m tense as I arrive at the restaurant. It’s been so long since I casually spent time with anyone other than Maggie or Michael that I don’t know how to act. I keep looking around, knowing what I’m doing is wrong.
They are at a table already, and I quickly find myself settling in. I even relax and forget I shouldn’t be here for a brief moment.
Brayden is great, and Maggie is the happiest I have ever seen her.
We finish our meal and dessert is coming when my body instantly seems to ignite. Looking around, I see the most gorgeous man walking toward us. He has a girl with him, but I’m so drawn to him I don’t notice her at first. He’s tall, built, and has dark, spikey hair. I can’t stop staring at him.
He strides directly to our table and fist pounds Brayden. Then he looks at me.
“Well, hello, beautiful. You must be Dina, Maggie’s roommate.” He extends his hand to me. “I’m Ryder Davenport. It’s nice to finally meet you.”
I stick my hand out to shake his, and electricity zaps through me at the contact.
“I’m Dina, Dina Fowler.”
Before I can say anything more, I feel eyes on me. Eyes I know.
My veins run cold in fear. I know he’s angry. I did this. I knew he wouldn’t like it. This goes against what he wants from me.
In a split second, Michael has his hands wrapped in my very long, blonde hair. Using its connection to my head, he yanks me out of the chair.
The look in Michael’s eyes is pure sinister venom. Poisonous anger radiates off the man I love.
“You deviant, little bitch,” he whispers in my ear. “I’m your priority, yet you’re out having a good time without me?”
Ryder steps in, and Maggie jumps up. Before they can make a scene, however, I put my hand up as I fight back tears.
“It’s okay. We have to leave,” I say sternly.
Maggie has a pained expression, watching me as Michael releases my hair and grabs my wrist, leading me away in a painfully tight grip that makes me stumble as I try to keep up with his pace.
As we walk out, I hear Ryder call out, “Dina, don’t go with him!”
I can hear Maggie sob as she cries, but I can’t stop myself. I want away from it all. I don’t want an audience as my delicately balanced life falls apart. There is no way Maggie will be okay with me continuing to see Michael. I love him. She won’t understand I’m the one who messed up.
Michael drives me home, screaming obscenities at me the entire way. I’m a whore. I’m cheating on him. I’m lying to him. How can I make such a fool of him?
I deserve this.
I’m his whore. I don’t want to feel this way. When he calls me one, though, and I think of what we have done, I can’t help feeling dirty. Any way he’s wanted me, he’s had me, regardless of my comfort level.
I’m not cheating on him, but giving time to Maggie might as well be the same.
I did lie by omission when I didn’t tell him my plans.
I did make a fool of him.
I should have bailed on Maggie. I should have told him where I was going. I went behind his back, and I deserve his anger, his rage.
Confined to the car, I have nowhere to escape when he suddenly backhands me across the face.
The air hits my skin, and I feel the tears pool behind my eyes.
He hit me.
The swish of his hand is heard before I feel the second strike.
Surprise, stunning realization of pain, and humiliation consume me.
Where did it all go so terribly wrong?
Trapped.
Terrified.
Tortured as hit after hit comes like the dashed yellow lines of the road. It keeps coming.
He continues to backhand me repeatedly. I feel my eye swell and blood trickles from my nose. As I bite my lip to choke back a yelp, I taste the metallic of my blood.
I want to scream, but there’s no one to hear me. I want to open the door and fall out of the car, but I can’t move. Shock is winning the war inside me.
As quickly as he starts, he stops. Pulling up in front of my apartment, he opens the car door, waiting for me to get out, not speaking.
I make one step away as he rounds the car to get back in. He pulls off, squealing tires down the road.
I reach my apartment and crumple to the floor in agony.
Does this mean it’s over? Is he leaving me for good? What the hell just happened?
He’s never reacted this way before.
I can’t think clearly. I can’t see clearly. It’s all a loss. It’s a hell like no other.
I know things aren’t perfect, but I love him. My selfish need to feel like I’m part of Maggie’s life caused this. Michael was right; she’s moving on with her life. She has a good thing with Brayden. I see the love they share. Maggie is a lot calmer and so much happier since him.
Michael is all I have left. Now I have messed up, and he’s angry. Will he forgive me?
I have to find a way to fix things with him.
I caused this and deserve to feel this hopeless.
***
Brayden and Maggie arrive home not far behind me, but there was enough of a delay to get Michael gone, which saves me more stress right now.
Michael really left me.
Brayden takes one look at me and roars. “Maggie, lock the door. You do not open it for anyone. Dina, I swear, we’re gonna fuck him up!” Then he takes off, and I’m left hoping he doesn’t find Michael.
This isn’t anyone else’s business or problem. They don’t realize it’s on me. His reaction is because of my actions.
Maggie cleans me up and holds me silently while I cry. The embarrassment is too much.
“I don’t know what to do to take the pain away,” she finally whispers.
What can I say? She’s happy and in love. She won’t understand my relationship with Michael. She won’t understand the way he is with me when we are in a good place. The way he simply gets me.
Our love is special. Michael brought me out of the dark. He gave me something and someone to believe in again. He’s everything I have left to hold on to. He’s not a part of my past. He is my future. The good outweighs the bad.
Every relationship has its problems. Ours is no different.