Time to Face It
Maggie
As I sit here, coming to terms with the reality of my situation, I become stir crazy.
Drugs.
I can’t believe it.
How did I not see this?
I get up and leave without uttering one word to Brayden, calling a cab to take me home, too upset to drive. Dina’s car should be safe in the parking garage.
When I arrive home, Dina immediately hugs me. “Maggie, what do you need me to do?”
I’m so numb I can only manage to stammer, “I don’t know. I just don’t know.”
The three of us sit down on Dina’s sectional. At first, we are all silent. I mean, what is there to say? My boyfriend is a liar … a stranger. I don’t even know who he is. He’s been hiding this from me all along. How did I not know? How did we all miss it?
“I owe you an apology, Maggie.” Ryder is the first to break the silence. “I’ve had my suspicions, but didn’t take them seriously. Valerie told me while she was in rehab that Brayden was her drug buddy in high school and college, but she made it sound past tense, like he wasn’t using anymore.” He looks at Dina with a somber expression. “I was so wrapped up in my own shit. I think back, and the signs are there if you’re look for them. Erratic behavior, disappearing, the money, and just his demeanor in general. I took for granted that Bray would never put you or any of us in this situation. I’m sorry I didn’t step in sooner.”
“I think we should call your dad,” Dina says to me.
I shake my head.
Not backing down, she continues, “It’s been too long. They are visiting soon. And not only your parents. Harrison emailed. He wants to come with Tiffany, the girl he’s dating.”
I think over it for a moment. She’s right; it’s time to tell my family. My parents like Brayden. They have been happy with our relationship. He fits in so well.
I need to talk to my dad right now. He can help me understand. He knows what it is to make mistakes, and my mom loves him through them.
Deciding not to second-guess myself, I nod to Dina as I pick up my phone.
My dad answers on the second ring. “Hello, princess.”
Before he can say anything more, I immediately cry. “Oh, Daddy, everything is a mess.”
“Talk, Margaret,” he says softly, and I crumble.
“We lost the house. I don’t know how, I don’t know where all the money went, but it’s gone, Daddy. Brayden doesn’t tell me what’s going on. I can’t think, I can’t eat, I just don’t know where it all went wrong.”
I take a few seconds to compose myself, while he remains silent.
“Daddy, are you still there?” I finally ask.
“Yes, princess, always.” He sighs. “I don’t know what to say that will make any of this easier.” He breathes heavily again. “My precious daughter, your head is going to tell you that it’s over, and he’s no good for you. Your head is going to tell you to walk away. Your heart, on the other hand, is going to hold on to hope. Your heart will ask you to love unconditionally and help him change.”
“So, which one do I listen to, my head or my heart?”
“That’s not for me to answer. Time will show you which way to go, princess. As your dad, I want to hurt Brayden for hurting you. As a man who has made more than enough of his own mistakes, I want to see the two of you overcome this.” He pauses. “Just take some time and take things slow, one day at a time, and if that becomes too hard, take it one hour at a time. We’ll be out to visit in two weeks to take your mind off things, okay?”
I find comfort in this.
“I can’t wait to see you, Daddy. I love you.”
Dina is crying beside me when I hang up. I know this is opening a wound for her. I don’t think a person can ever fully heal from the loss of their parents from such a tragic end.
She slowly smiles at me. “Forget two weeks, Maggie. Let’s finish up the few items to do at work this week and have a long weekend starting Thursday at the beach house. I’ll even call Harrison and invite him. We can get away and see your family.”
I smile genuinely at her for knowing I need this escape desperately. “That’s perfect.”
Ryder clears his throat. “Is this a girl only weekend?”
Dina looks at me for an answer.
I chuckle. “No, Ryder, you can come, too. Be warned, though, my dad and brother treat Dina just like me, so be prepared for an interrogation.”
He gives me a full smile. “I’ll have to come down late Friday night, but I’ll enjoy a weekend with your family. Your big, bad brother, dad, and all.”
I remember when I brought Brayden home for the first time. My mom fell in love, but she has always been one to simply accept all my friends and boyfriends at first introduction. My dad took him out to the garage to have what he calls “the man talk.” I don’t know what that entails exactly, but I do know it starts with, “What are your intentions with my daughter, son?” while my dad opens his big gun safe to show off the arsenal.
My brother Cory seemed indifferent to meeting Brayden, almost preoccupied. He’s the middle child, so he has never really been protective. He’s the quiet one, the serious one, an investment broker for some firm up in Raleigh. Harrison and I don’t see or hear much from him, but he calls Mom daily.
Harrison, on the other hand, found out I was home that weekend with a boyfriend from college and made a surprise trip of his own.
My oldest brother is six-foot, built like Ryder—all muscle—and Mr. Badass ripples off him. He has dark, almost black eyes, and a serious face that can scare you with merely a glance. Unlike Ryder, Harrison’s tattoos don’t peek out of his shirt. No, they scream in your face boldly. He has a back piece, and on his forearms, biceps, even the back of his neck, his calves, his ribs, and his chest.
Harrison followed in our dad’s footsteps, joining the Marines. He was injured on his last deployment and is looking at a medical discharge soon.
He conveniently showed up as Dad and Brayden were out in the garage and took Brayden off for a ride in his 1977 The Bandit Special Edition Pontiac Trans Am. I don’t know what was said on that car ride, but when they returned, Brayden looked frazzled, while Harrison was smiling in accomplishment.
“No, sis, we’re not gonna be friends, but for now, he’s okay for you to date. Mark my words, though, if he screws up, I’m all over it. If he picks you up late once, you might as well tell him to hit the road, Jack. If I find out he treats you wrong, I’ll teach him how wrong he was. You got me?”
“Yes, Harry, I got you, but whatever,” I replied sharply, knowing just how much my big bro wished he was the one named Cory.
He detests being called Harry, but I think he secretly loves it from me and Mom. He prefers to be called by our last name, although I never have and never will.
He and I have always been super close. When I was little and had bad dreams, he was the one to wake up and tell me it was just a dream and to go back to sleep. When I was in high school, he was already in the military, but when he was home on leave, he would pick me and Dina up just to scare the boys.
I know he takes his role as big brother seriously. Therefore, I dread telling him what a mess I’m in, but I have to. Plus, he and Dina are tight, so if I don’t, she will.
***
Brayden
Well, it’s all out there now, and they have all left without a single word. Damn, I’m so screwed. I have lied, stolen, and cost them all something different. If the roles were reversed, I would walk away, too. Did I really expect anything else?
Dina is on such a high horse over this accident. I get it—her parents are dead—but she’s not the only one who has lost a family member. She’s not the only one who feels loss and sadness.
Rehab can’t bring back what I lost. Rehab can’t bring me back. And now I have this lawyer all over my ass. Just fucking great.
I tried to tell her I’m a lost cause, that this is hopeless, but this Wendy chick isn’t listening. She tells me to shut up and do as she says.
She needs a man to put her over his knee and teach her when to chill the hell out.
Simmer down now, simmer down.
Damn, she is going to get on my last nerve.
My phone rings, and I cringe when I see the number.
“What, Mom?”
She sighs in exasperation. “Well, obviously you’re alive. I got a call from some hospital about you being in an accident, something with contacting next of kin. Just wondering if you were alive or finally dead. Since you picked up the phone, I have my answer.”
Before I can say anything else, she’s gone.
Dammit! I need my escape even more now, yet I’m stuck in a fucking hospital.
Her voice has my heart beating out of my chest. Her disdain and the disgust in her tone makes me need a fix. My body trembles in withdrawal. My anxiety peaks.
I have nothing here to numb the emotional pain and handle my physical needs.
Having nowhere else to go when I’m released from the hospital, I take a cab to the shop, finding Ryder waiting on me.
“You gonna get your shit straight now, man?”
“Not much of a choice with that shark your woman set on me.”
I see a flash of something in his eyes. Regret, remorse, forgiveness—I don’t know exactly.
He stands there, shaking his head for a bit. “Bray, talk to me, dammit. Talk to someone. Face whatever is haunting you and get clean, man. You’re good people, Brayden. You screw up a hell of a lot, but that’s because of the drugs, not you. Get clean, and it will all get better.”
Ryder … He thinks it’s so damn simple.
Oh, just get clean, Bray.
He doesn’t have to look in the mirror every day and see someone else staring back at him.