Boiling Point
Kenna
Adding to the headache that began at work today, I arrive home to an empty house. Checking my phone, I see a text from Jake saying he’s working late and not to wait up.
Another night alone in bed for me, and not because my man is off serving our country.
Insecurities begin to crawl around in my head. Did he really have to work late? Is he avoiding me? I haven’t ever felt disconnected from Jake like this before.
I know I’m being dramatic. After all, things have been tough on everyone since Brayden’s addiction came to light and he left for rehab.
I contemplate calling Dina to find out if Ryder is working late, as well. Brayden was known to use the garage as a way to dodge Maggie after she found out their home foreclosed. Realistically, I shouldn’t think of things this way, but I can’t help the way I feel.
Before I get the chance to carry on with my thoughts, my phone rings.
“Maggie, what’s up, girl?” I answer.
“I need to go out. I want to get shit-faced and forget that men exist. You free Friday night?”
I pause. It’s been forever since I have gone out with my girlfriends. I work constantly, so this will be a nice change of pace.
“Sure. I could use a night of silliness while getting wasted. I’ll pick you up at ten.”
Given the last few days with Jake, I could use a night to get lost in alcohol.
***
I don’t know what time Jake actually got in last night. I went to bed around eleven. It’s now six in the morning, and the bed beside me is cold, empty, and untouched. He’s home, though, because his belt is on the dresser.
My anger and hurt at his obvious rejection are at their boiling point.
Seeking the comfort of a hot shower, I head to our bathroom, releasing the anger, frustration, and hurt on my body as I scrub in an attempt to send the negativity down the drain. My emotions are all tangled in knots.
The soap bubbles being sucked down the drain remind me not to allow this situation to suck me away, as well. I resolve, then and there, to give Jake the space he obviously needs without nagging, temper tantrums—yes, I have been known to throw one a time or two, even as a grown up—or fighting. When he is ready, he will talk. Until then, Kenna Jean Farnsworth will be calm, cool, and collected.
***
Jake
When I finally got home at two this morning, I knew Kenna would already be in bed. I went upstairs and showered, and as I was drying off, I caught myself watching her sleep.
She was beautiful and peaceful lying there in one of my T-shirts. Then her facial expression changed, showing sadness and distress. Finding myself wondering what she was dreaming, I immediately felt the need to escape. The walls felt like they were closing in.
Does Kenna dream of the ring, the dress, the church, the vows, the kiss?
Thinking of the ass I am for crushing every girls’ childhood wish, I grabbed a beer and headed to the couch. There was no way I could lie in that bed beside her.
Now, here I sit, pondering my situation, the same place I have been all night. Damn, just thinking of a wedding in a dream version still has me anxious as hell. No way am I ready for any of this.
It’s time to get real. Do I love Kenna enough to let her go? When our current status isn’t enough for her, I know she is going to leave me for the future I can’t give her. And I’m going to have to let her walk away.
I lose track of time while making coffee, these thoughts consuming me. Then the sound of water alerts me that Kenna is awake, and gone is the idea of avoidance.
Shit, I was hoping to be gone before she got up. I’m a man who faces shit head on … except when it comes to losing Kenna. She’s such a huge part of my life. I don’t know when things changed, or how, but they have.
Kenna enters the kitchen in a black skirt and a sage green shirt with the matching peep-toe heels. Damn, her legs look amazing in those shoes with that skirt. She has her hair in a sleek bun, looking business-like. She is so hot I feel my body stirring. It’s obvious I am giving her more than a once-over.
My gaze meets hers in a glare so serious I shiver a bit. I’m pretty sure that look has to do with me and not because she is getting ready for work.
“Good morning, angel. You look beautiful,” I greet her.
Responding in a forced tone, she greets back, “Good morning, Jake.”
This feels awkward and foreign. Things have never been this strained between us. Now I see why Kenna has always harped on and on about good communication. Yet, even admitting that, I can’t bring myself to tell her what’s on my mind. I don’t like change, not a lot of people do. The way I feel and the things I fear … well, they could change everything permanently.
Kenna silently packs her lunch, makes her to-go cup of coffee, and takes out some chicken to cook for dinner.
I glance over and make a quick decision, putting the meat back in the freezer.
“I know I’m going to be working late, so there is no need to cook. How about you come to the shop tonight for dinner? Dina is already planning to bring dinner for Ryder, and I can have her get us something, too.”
She is quiet for a moment. Then her voice is barely above a whisper when she replies, “Are you sure you want me there? You don’t seem to want to be around me here.” She shrugs, looking defeated as she turns away from me.
Those words cut me deeply. Of course I want her here, there, everywhere.
I’m such an ass.
I make my way over to her, pulling her close. I just need to hold her for a moment.
“Yes, I want you there.” I rub her shoulders, feeling the tension I know I set there. “I know I haven’t been myself lately. Working so much has made me tired and sore by the end of the day, yet I can’t seem to relax enough to fall asleep. You have your own schedule to keep and need to rest, and I haven’t wanted to keep you up. I’m sorry, baby.”
Not wanting to fight and needing her to feel the want I have for her, I decide to take action. Before she can respond further, I kiss her with everything in me, passion and need consuming me. I let my movements and body say everything I can’t seem to vocalize.
I want her.
I need her.
I love her.
I just can’t marry her, though I plan to spend forever with her.
I quickly push her skirt up and release my erection. Then, lifting her up, I wrap her legs around my hips and push her panties aside as I press her against the countertop. I enter her hard and fast, full of blazing fire, desire, and need for her. I can’t slow myself down as I pound into her. She takes everything I give.
Too many mixed emotions are running through me as I explode inside her. It’s not my best performance, but damn, I had to have her. She hates when she feels like I am using her body as a distraction. For me, communicating physically, my body connecting to hers, makes me feel like I’m saying more than I can with mere words.
She is smiling at me with a shit-eating evil grin as I pull out, straightening her skirt as I set her shaking legs down.
“Nice distraction, champ. I’m not buying what you’re selling about the sleep, though. I know something more is going on. You want to be an ass and shut me out? Fine, so be it. Until you decide to open up, don’t expect me to be all smiles and laughter.” She pokes me in the chest. “However, I will be there tonight because I want to see Ryder and Dina.” With that, she gathers her things and leaves.
Oh hell, she’s pissed. No line of bullshit is going to get by her. How do I tell her? No one wants to hear, “Yep, I thought I wanted to get married for a hot minute. I even bought you a ring. Now I realize I can’t. Marriage would suffocate me. Sorry I got confused for a while and took it out on you for no reason, because the end result is that we still won’t be getting married.”