Chapter 19
Devon
Devon was at his office, working late again and the next time he raised his head to look at the time, it was already nine. He pushed his file away and shut down his computer and took in a deep breath. The lunch with Alisha had affected him in a big way.
It had been a week since he last saw Belle, and now he was beginning to recognize the heartache and loneliness settling in again. He didn’t want to arouse suspicion and hence hadn’t asked Susan or Jasmine how she was doing. He could only hope that she was happy at the Brooklyn office and that her life with her boyfriend was going well. He only wanted the best for her. He didn’t want to disrupt her peace of mind.
Alisha was probably right, he figured, to assume that he was capable of actual feelings. Even though he didn’t want to discuss those feelings with anybody else, he knew that they existed. Belle had stirred them in him and he felt protective and possessive towards her. Which was why it was wise to send her away before anything else happened.
The soft ping of the elevator outside snapped him out of his thoughts. His heart began to race because he couldn’t help but wonder if it was Belle again. A far fetched daydream, but he couldn’t help his mind from wandering.
There was a sharp knock on the door and instead of saying anything, Devon stood up and walked over to it. He took in a deep breath, trying to calm his mind, and opened the door. Belle was standing on the other side. Her face looked pale, her eyes were widened and by the looks of it, she had been running again.
“Belle!” he said her name aloud and she fell into his arms immediately.
“I’m sorry, I had to come and see you,” she said and he stroked her head. She was still in her formal office clothes and her hair was braided elaborately in that fishtail plait that he remembered. She was in a slim gray dress with a wide black belt at her waist. She looked professional and beautiful.
When she finally pulled away from him, she took a step back.
“Come in,” he said in a quiet voice and he walked back towards his desk. She shut the door behind her and he could hear his heart thumping out of his chest. It was exciting to see her again. He knew very well what the possibility of her being there could lead to. He wanted to touch her again, take her into his arms…but it was still inappropriate.
“I had to come, because I had nowhere else to go,” Belle was saying and he noticed that she looked nervous. She had clasped her hands together and was pressing her fingers tightly. Devon leaned against his desk as he looked at her.
“My door is always open,” he said and she looked up at him sharply. Her brown eyes were large and looked bloodshot. She could have been crying, he thought and immediately, he had the urge to take her in his arms again.
“I know you didn’t want to see me again. You wanted us to keep our distance. But I have nobody else in New York,” she continued and Devon shook his head. Her breasts were heaving, her lips looked as pouty and luscious as usual; and even though she seemed distraught, Devon couldn’t help but recall the moment when he first saw her naked.
“Don’t worry about it, tell me what’s going on,” he said in a soft voice. Their eyes met again and Belle looked like she was beginning to relax a little.
“You know how I told you that my boyfriend said he doesn’t want to have sex right now, that he wants to wait. He just told me that he’s had sex before. With other girls before me and he didn’t want to sleep with me because he thinks they are all sluts,” the words came tumbling out of her and Devon couldn’t help but go closer to her. He wanted to take her into his arms, hug her close to his chest…but he was still afraid of touching her.
“Belle, that is a horrible thing to say and do. I don’t know what to say to you, but it’s not unnatural that you’re upset,” he said, finding himself at a loss for words.
“I don’t know if I want to be with a guy like that. Who thinks like that. Who thinks sex is dirty,” she said and Devon shook his head.
“I know, I’m glad you came here,” he said and Belle rushed into his arms again.
“And he keeps ditching his job interviews. He stays at home all day and plays on his playstation. I can’t afford the rent by myself any more,” she continued, looking up at him and he could tell that she was on the brink of a breakdown.
Devon touched her face lightly and stroked her chin.
“I can’t tell you what to do, Belle. But he doesn’t seem like a supportive boyfriend to have,” he said, choosing his words carefully. The last thing he wanted to do was break up a relationship. He would have done anything to have her, but it would have to be her choice.
Belle gulped as she stared at him.
“I don’t think we’re good together. I feel like I did it too quickly. We’ve only been together four months, and I keep thinking that he deserves another chance,” she said and Devon nodded.
“I understand, but if he doesn’t make you happy, you can’t keep giving him chances,” he said and Belle drew closer to him. She was slowly raising her hand so she could touch his face. Devon stood still, breathing in her scent.
“I want to stop feeling guilty about what we did, Devon,” she said.