Chapter 15
Devon
Devon couldn’t sleep. His penthouse apartment felt empty and alone, and he wished that he could have Belle there with him. Which he knew was a ridiculous thought, because he knew nothing about her. But he also realized that he hadn’t ever felt like this about another woman before.
Devon had spent his entire twenties working hard, gaining the experience he needed working for other advertising agencies, making connections. When other people his age were out partying, Devon was working hard at his desk. He had close to no social life, other than one night stands with women whose faces he didn’t even remember any more. His thirties were spent in trying to establish his own agency. This too required a lot of hard work, and again, Devon had no time for actual relationships.
By the end of his thirties, Devon had built an empire and one of the most successful advertising agencies on the East Coast. Now in his forties, and after a string of multiple short lasting affairs and flings, Devon was tired of women. He didn’t even know where to begin to have an actual relationship. In a sense, he was a virgin too, just like Belle. He had no experience in real dating, he had no clue what it felt like to be with a woman consistently over a long period of time. The only woman he had slept with more than twice; was Alisha. And he knew for a fact that he didn’t want to be in a relationship with her.
Just when he was giving up, Belle had magically appeared in his life. There was an instant connection there. It started on the elevator, when he felt the spark, a sexual attraction that would have driven him to insanity if he hadn’t called her to his office. Ever since that, the attraction he felt towards her was more than just physical. Something unlike any other he experienced.
She wasn’t just forbidden fruit to him. He knew that was certain now, because they finally had sex. It was more than that. He wanted to keep seeing her. He wanted to share a meal with her. He wanted to sit on the couch and watch a movie together and then fall asleep in each others arms.
As he lay awake in bed, thinking about Belle and day dreaming about what a relationship with her would look like; he wondered if this was what falling in love felt like. But she was the wrong person; in the wrong circumstances. She was beautiful, charming and intelligent…but she was his employee, had a boyfriend and was way younger than appropriate.
And yet, he couldn’t stop thinking about her. He couldn’t stop thinking about how well they connected. The sex was hot, he had taken her virginity but it was more than just that. When they were lying beside each other on the carpet floor; Devon hadn’t been able to stop his mind from wandering. He wished he could simply scoop her back into his arms, kiss her on her lips and then go and get pizza somewhere.
But he knew it was impossible. He needed to maintain a professional relationship with her. There had to be some other woman who also made him feel that way. He didn’t believe in love at first sight. Hell, he didn’t even believe in love. He had spent his entire adult life sleeping with and seducing beautiful women, and not one of them had made him feel like he could spend his entire life with them.
How had this twenty something girl from Little Canada, an intern in his office, stirred these emotions in him?
Devon jumped out of bed and stared at the clock. It was only four in the morning and he hadn’t had a wink of sleep yet. He walked over to his closet, stripped down his clothes and changed into his running gear. Maybe some fresh air would clear his brain, he figured.
Belle Freedman had messed up his life, he thought now. He should be angry with her. He led a comfortable life as a confirmed bachelor, concentrating on his work and the success of his agency. He was happy that way. But now he had a taste for a different kind of happiness, and all this other stuff just seemed bland. His penthouse didn’t excite him. He had no use for his gym. He didn’t feel like going to work. He was going through all the emotions that teenagers went through, but he was forty-three years old! He should have been way past that age. He shouldn’t be feeling these feelings, for a girl he couldn’t have. For the first time, Devon felt powerless and out of control.
Devon left his apartment and took the elevators down to the lobby of his luxurious apartment building. The security guard at the door was surprised to see him that early. He smiled at the man and jogged out into the streets. The sky was still dark, the streetlights were still on and Devon began to run. He had no idea which direction he was running in, but all he wanted was to shake off that feeling.
He didn’t even want to imagine the kind of guilt that Belle was feeling. He was guilty himself, for being weak and sleeping with her. He wondered if this would ruin her peace of mind. She felt so delicate and small in his arms when he held her. He had stroked her hair and wished that he could fix everything. But he knew he couldn’t. He couldn’t even have her in his arms again.
Devon plugged in his earphones and turned the music on loud as he continued to jog. He had decided he would till he was out of breath, till his chest felt like it was about to explode; so that he wouldn’t have to think about Belle and how much he missed her.