Chapter 37
Sydney
I slept on the floor next to Emilia’s crib that night. I had cried myself to sleep, because I wasn’t sure what Dane wanted to do. He could very easily legally prove that he was Em’s father. Was there enough grounds for him to take her away? I knew he had the money and power to do it if he wanted to, and he looked like he wanted to.
How had my relationship with him changed so quickly? Just the previous afternoon we had kissed, the kind of kiss that I knew would stay with me forever. I knew I loved him now, there was no denying it. And I loved him more because he was the father of my child. I trusted him more, now. Strangely enough, I trusted him and I wanted him to hold me and stroke my hair and tell me it would all be well. I wanted him to forgive me for what I had done, but it didn’t seem like he would.
I woke up to Emilia giggling. She was standing up on her crib and pointing at me. I got up and picked her up to take her to the changing table. There was no point in overthinking this, life had to go on. I couldn’t just sit and cry over my heartbreak all day. I had a child to care for and guests to attend to. My first guests for the season would be arriving in a few hours and the house needed to be tended to.
I changed and fed Em before giving her a quick bath. I took a shower myself, and then started cleaning up the house. When the doorbell rang again, I thought it was the guests but it was Dane on the other side of the door. He was carrying two bags filled with toys and baby clothes and he walked in without saying a word to me first.
Emilia was inside the play pen in the living room, playing with her building blocks again and she looked up, alert, at Dane when he walked in. I followed him, and watched as he stood stock still at the door, staring at his daughter.
“Hi Emilia, I’m your daddy,” he said bluntly, like he was talking to an adult and like she might understand what he was saying. Emilia clapped her hands and her eyes fell excitedly on the bags of toys he had brought with him.
I stood silently at the door, with my eyes keenly on them as Dane rushed towards Emilia and hunched down on the floor.
“These are for you,” he said and laid the toys out in front of her. Emilia smiled at him and reached for the brightest one, a plastic dinosaur, which she pulled it closer to herself. Dane remained sitting there, in front of her on the floor and watched her in silence as she started investigating the toys. He opened them up from the boxes and handed them one by one to her.
I watched in awe as a silent, beautiful bond was forming between father and daughter, and my heart suddenly filled with pride and joy. I didn’t care any more now if Dane despised me. I could see already that he would make a wonderful father to Emilia and I had no right to keep that from either of them.
Dane ignored me for the entire time that he played with Em. Eventually they were giggling and laughing and talking to each other in gibberish. Dane kept trying to teach her the word daddy, and Emilia attempted saying it too. I left them by themselves after a while, and returned to my cleaning. The guests could be here any minute.
Dane eventually joined me in the kitchen after a while. He stood at the door with his hands tucked into the pockets of his jeans.
“We need to figure out a plan around this,” he said gravely and when our eyes met, I couldn’t continue looking at him. I dropped my gaze to the ground and nodded my head.
“Of course,” I said quietly.
“I live in New York,” he said and I jerked my head to look up at him again. That was the first piece of information he had willingly given me about himself.
“And I work on Wall Street. I trade in stocks and work for a financial company,” he added and I continued looking at him. I had judged him correctly.
“But New York is far from here. Other side of the country. Too far to be from my daughter,” he said and I shrugged.
“Well, I’m not moving to New York if that is what you’re saying,” I said and folded my arms over my breasts. I had an urge to run to him, to wrap my arms around his neck and tell him I loved him, but I couldn’t…not under these circumstances. We had suddenly turned into enemies and there was no going back to how it was before.
Dane sighed. I couldn’t predict what he was going to say next. I expected a volley of threats and angered words. He was surely a man who was used to getting what he wanted.
“We have to do what is best for Emilia,” he said and then, just like that, he turned around and left.
I watched after him, slightly shaken up. My hands were quivering from the force of the feelings I felt for him versus my uncertainty of what those words had meant. What was best for Emilia?