Chapter 33
Sydney
Dane didn’t catch up with me till I was almost at my front door. I wanted to get away from him, I didn’t want to hear anything more that he had to say. I could feel my fingers trembling as I tried to unlock my front door.
“Sydney, please, stop!” Dane said and he slammed a hand on the door, standing behind me. Even though he wasn’t touching me, I could feel his breath on my hair. I didn’t want to turn around or look at him.
“I know that was a lie. Why are you running away from me?” he said in a soft deep voice that made my skin prickle with goosebumps. I kept my face forward, towards the door, as I tried to even my breathing.
“I’m not running. I’m just trying to put some distance between us,” I said and in a flash, Dane had caught me by my waist and whipped me around. My back pressed against the door as he lowered his face close to me. His breath shook some loose strands of my dark hair, and my eyes searched his face. He was so close to me. Close enough to kiss. But another kiss would only make me fall deeper and deeper for him. And I couldn’t allow that to happen, now that I had a child to think about.
“Are you with someone else, is that what it is? Is it Leo?” he asked through gritted teeth.
“No,” I said shaking my head. I didn’t know why I couldn’t lie to him. Telling him that I was with Leo could have solved a lot of my problems.
“Then what is it? Why do you need to put some distance between us?” he asked, still growling. Dane’s dark eyes were bloodshot, and his usually neatly styled hair was out of place. He was breathing heavily too, just like me.
I remained silent. There was nowhere to begin. How could I even start to explain to him what was going on.
“You think I’m just like your ex…” he said and brought his face even closer to mine. I still said nothing, just glared back at him with narrowed eyes.
“You think I’m just like that man who used you and then threw you away,” he continued and I took in a sharp breath.
“Aren’t you? Just like him,” I asked him and I saw the expression on Dane’s face change. He was so handsome, the features of his face were perfectly aligned and chiseled. The hand that he still had on the door was large and strong. His muscles stretched under the thin fabric of his linen shirt. I knew how powerful his body was. How he could simply lift me up with just one hand, and drive into me with full force. I could feel myself getting wet between my legs. Again!
The fire in Dane’s eyes had diminished and his voice had changed as well.
“You’re right. I am that guy. I’ve used women before for my own pleasure and entertainment, but not you, Sydney,” he said and I turned my face away from him. I couldn’t keep looking at him. That would be my own downfall.
“You think I’m different only because I’m resisting you,” I said meekly, because I was afraid of the grip he had on me. On my mind and heart.
“That isn’t true,” he said and then placed a hooked finger under my chin, to turn my head towards him again.
“I’ve had you, Sydney, and I want more. I feel like I could never get enough of you,” he said and I clenched my jaw. Our eyes were locked together, I couldn’t look away from his eyes any more.
“This is the real world, Dane. You will eventually grow tired of me. Other important things will get in the way. Just like it did for James,” I said and suddenly, abruptly, Dane stepped away from me.
I realized then that I’d been holding my breath all this while. Now that there was some distance between us, I could breathe again.
“So, that is what you think of me. That I’m just like him. Just an asshole,” he said and I remained quiet. That wasn’t what I thought of him, but that was what I feared. And now I had Emilia to think about. Nursing a heartbreak, like the one James had caused me…well, I just didn’t have the time for that. Not when I had Emilia’s wellbeing to think about.
“And do you think Leo is different? He’s a good guy who’ll never disappoint you?” he asked, and the rage had returned to Dane’s voice again.
I had no answer for him.
“I’m not with Leo,” I said to him and he swung his head around to look at me again.
“Yeah, that’s what you say. And yet, you were on a date with him last night,” he said and I jutted my chin out.
“I don’t have to give you an explanation, Dane. All you need to know is that we can’t keep doing this,” I said and he slowly nodded his head.
“Of course. I respect your decision. I was an idiot the first time around, when I left so suddenly. And now I’ve lost my chance,” he said in a softer voice, and I gulped. How was I supposed to tell him that if he’d stayed, he would have found out that I was pregnant? He would have felt obliged towards me because of Emilia. That might have ruined his whole life. It was my fault for not being on the pill. I had no intention of holding him back, or trapping him.
When Dane looked over at me again, our eyes met but neither of us were smiling. So, this was the end, I thought.