I stood in front of my mirror looking at my curves. I knew that there were guys that would beg on bended knee to be with me. I was not immune to the lingering glances in my direction and I had on occasion purposely bent over to give them a thrill. I liked the attention and I wore clothing that was constricting and hard to breathe in. I wanted them to crave that one last look before disappearing from their lives forever. I didn’t consider myself a tease, but I suppose from their point of view it would appear that way.
“I would say that if you’re trying to make a good first impression that dress will do it. I just hope that you don’t need the Jaws of Life to get out of it at the end of the day. The heels are a nice touch. I’ve never been able to wear those. I feel like I’m going to fall over, but you handle it with grace.” Tina was that friend that always had something to say on everything. I could always count on her to be completely honest without sugar-coating anything. It was refreshing to know that she would not just tell me what I wanted to hear.
“I figure that it’s best to take advantage of what I have been blessed with. I used to think that it was a curse to have a little bit of extra coming and going. I see the advantages. I sometimes find that I want to run over to those skinny bitches and tell them to eat something. I eat right, but I will always have more than average. I am quite pleased that most of that extra weight landed on my breasts and my ass.” Tina was a slacker. She didn’t believe in a 9 to 5 job and always depended on those guys that were willing to pay her bills. She never promised them anything in return, but it was always an unwritten understanding.
I was 5’9, 170 pounds with a mixture of black and red in my hair. I made my own clothes. I’d always been a creative personality and that led to me sending in a couple of my building designs to a well-known architect.
August Rivers had actually taken an interest in me. To have him personally invite me to his office was unheard of. I had heard the rumors of the way that he treated the female staff under his watch. I didn’t think that I had much to worry about. Those photos of him out and about were with those girls that were airbrushed into the perfect specimens.
“If his tongue doesn’t fall to the floor, then he has to be gay. There are certain things that men have a hard time looking away from. You guarantee that you’ll have a line around the block to talk to you.” My type was an acquired taste but was becoming acceptable in this day and age. I only wished that this was the case in high school and college, but for the most part, I was that wallflower hanging back and looking in from the outside.
“I appreciate the effort to butter me up and make me feel more confident, but I’m already nervous as it is.” I grabbed my purple leather jacket and covered the black slinky dress with the accompanying white belt.
“I would wish you luck, but I don’t think that you need it.” Tina had her blond curls into pigtails giving her that innocent look. Those that knew her well enough would know that there was nothing innocent about her. She was my roommate, but she was always with a different man every week. I just couldn’t bring myself to being with a man for the fleeting chance of 5 minutes of pleasure.
“From your lips to god’s ears.” My mother had always told me that I was never going to amount to much and that really did do something to my self-esteem. It was bad enough that I was struggling with weight issues, but to have her constantly berate me made it necessary to leave her in the dust after graduation.
I hadn’t been home in over two years. My older sister Carol keeps trying to lure me back to the homestead for the holidays. I always come up with some lame excuse to get out of it. She was always that golden child that I couldn’t measure up to. There was no way that she knew how our mother treated me. I got the feeling from my mother’s disapproval that my pregnancy somehow ruined her life.
I got into my old grey and dismal Toyota and prayed that it would turn over. I waited and then I turned the ignition and heard the rumble of the engine come to life underneath me. I could smell the exhaust fumes coming through the floor. My inspection was coming up soon and I had a feeling that I was going to need a lot more than I had in my bank account to get this thing road worthy.
I put it into gear and it backfired making a young man in front of me crossing the street almost wet himself in fear that it was a drive by. Chicago did have its fair share of crime. There was no way that anybody could leave their doors open unless of course, you wanted your stuff to be pawned. I had a baseball bat by my bed and I knew had to swing for the fences.
I drove down the street at 9:00 AM on a Monday morning and I saw these people moving along like sheep and I realized that I was one of them. Bumper to bumper traffic was not uncommon for this time of day. I had to give Tina credit for being able to lounge in her pyjamas. I needed that security and I had been pounding the pavement to find my dream job for the past five years. It meant that I had to take on temporary jobs. I think that I let my mother’s words distract me and make me feel that I wasn’t worthy of anything good in my life.
I was never that adventurous in the bedroom. I had seen some things on the Internet that made me cringe to even contemplate doing them myself. Positions were relegated to the vanilla missionary on a bed. That was probably the reason why I could never keep a boyfriend for any longer than six months before he decided to pull the plug.
I arrived at the building and I was in awe. I stood there after paying for parking and looked up and marvelled at the intricate design that went into bringing something like this to life. August was known to think outside the box. It was the one thing that we had in common.
I had a black satchel over my shoulder and I reached in and pulled out the magazine with his photo on the front. He always dressed to impress wearing finely tailored suits that fit him like a glove. There was nothing that he could do to hide those muscles from bulging in all the right places. There were times when I used his image to satisfy my longings. I could only imagine what he looked like under the suit. He had the tendency to wear a power red tie.
I went into the building and it made me feel like a fish out of the water. My mouth was dry and I continually licked my lips. I signed in and I took the elevator up to the top floor. When the door opened, I was accosted by a black and white motif. It was a classic choice that had never gone out of style. The secretary behind the desk looked up with her glasses perched on the edge of her nose. She gave me that critical eye.
“I know that I’m a little early. I have a meeting with Mr. Rivers at 10:00 AM.” She didn’t say anything, but the placard on her desk referred to her as Miss Timmons. There was no first name and it gave me the impression that she was looking to be seen as professional and not some eye candy for the office. Her blond hair and store bought implants contradicted that statement.
“I’ll let him know that you are here. He’s finishing up with a client, but he shouldn’t be more than a few minutes. I’ll tell you a secret. He shared with me his thoughts and your designs have potential. That may not seem like high praise, but coming from him it is.” I sat down; demurely crossing my leg which of course made my dress ride up and give the illusion of more skin than was necessary. I had that nervous twitch and I could barely sit still. This was exactly where I wanted to be, but getting into the front door was only the first step.
“I wonder if you could tell me something about him before I go in there and make a fool out of myself. Anything at all would help. I’m sure that you’ve learned to predict what he is going to do next. You might even be on the same wavelength and finish each other’s thoughts like an old married couple.” It brought to mind my mother and this was no time to go down memory lane. I never did know my father and he abandoned us after my birth. It finally dawned on me that maybe my mother blamed me for him leaving and that was the reason why she felt it necessary to put me down.
“I would love to help you, but I’ve only been working here for the past month. I heard through the Grapevine that not many stay any longer than a few months in his employ. Women, in general, can’t stand his womanizing ways and the way that he looks at them in a less than subtle fashion.” She went back to her computer, not elaborating, but definitely giving me food for thought.
Chapter two