Chapter 17
Sydney
I wasn’t sure what had come over me, why I suddenly felt hot tears pricking the back of my eyelids. It could have been something to do with Leo. Memories of James and my life back in San Fransisco had resurfaced. Or it could have had to do with Dane and how kind he was being to me.
We had started walking along the beach again. It had happened so naturally, that I didn’t question it. One moment we were on the promenade and I was trying to stop the tears from rolling down my cheeks and in the next moment we were on the beach and I was pouring my heart out to him.
“He was my boss, and I was his starry-eyed assistant,” I told him, while looking ahead. I couldn’t face Dane while I spoke about it. He seemed calm, and didn’t seem too inquisitive. He was sensitive and respectful towards what I was going through.
“And he was married?” he asked me and I nodded.
“A beautiful wife and three kids. He was twenty years older than me, but I didn’t care. James was charismatic, and handsome and very smooth. He floored me in just a few weeks,” I continued. There were gaps filled with silence in our conversation. I was speaking slowly, still surprised that I was blurting everything out to him. But now that I’d started, I couldn’t stop. I wanted to keep telling someone, I had the whole story pent up in me for so long, bursting to come out. I didn’t seem to care any more that Dane Forsyth was probably the last person I should have saying this to.
“And did you have an affair with him?” he asked gently and I licked my lips and nodded.
“For about seven months we were sleeping together. He even found me a nicer apartment to move into, and visited me a few nights a week. God! I’m so ashamed,” I said and covered my face with my hands.
“You shouldn’t be. He was just as much at fault, if not more. He was the one with the wife and a family,” Dane said and I sensed him looking at me. When I drew my hands away from my face, I saw that his dark eyes were narrowed and slightly bloodshot. Like he was angry at James for what he had done to me.
“And how did it end? What happened?” he asked, when I hadn’t said anything in some time.
“His wife caught us. We were too bold one afternoon and were having sex in his office. She walked in on us, and pushed me out of his office. She was screaming and mad, I had barely managed to put my clothes back on. Everyone in the office saw me, with my makeup smudged, half dressed and James’ wife yelling at me,” I continued and by now I couldn’t control the tears. They came gushing out, covering my cheeks and my hands with which I was trying to stop them.
Dane took me into his arms. We had stopped walking, and unconsciously, I buried my face into his shoulder. I hadn’t cried in so long…in years, and now my tears were uncontrollable.
“She shouldn’t have done that to you. It was her husband she should have been screaming at,” I heard him say. His voice was muffled because my hair was in the way. I looked up at him, and our eyes locked. His eyes were kind and gentle, and suddenly, I had never felt more safe before.
“But she did. She treated me like dirt. And the next day, James called me up to tell me to never return to his office. That he won’t be paying for my apartment and that he never wanted to see me again. He was behaving like I’d tricked him somehow,” I said and another volley of tears streamed out.
“He’s an asshole. I hope he gets what he deserves. He was the only one at fault here,” Dane continued to say and I shook my head.
“No, I knew what I was getting into. I enjoyed the thrill. I was having fun. I didn’t stop to think how I was hurting his family,” I said in a strained voice and Dane reached out to wipe the tears from my cheek with the back of his hand.
“Neither did he. And he didn’t own up to his own mistake. He didn’t apologize to you. He’s the one who should be blamed here, not you,” he said in a harsh voice and I buried my face in his shoulder again. It was like I never wanted to face the world again. All those memories had come rushing back, and I’d tried to keep them suppressed for so long.
“I was so embarrassed and angry and upset. I thought I was falling in love with him. I had started to hope that he might leave his wife. And then this happened, and I was left without a job and without a home. I didn’t know where to go, how to tell my parents…granny leaving me the B&B was the perfect excuse for me to move out of San Fransisco,” I said, my words all coming out in a rush and jumble. Dane nodded his head, like he understood everything exactly.
“Lets go back to the house, you need to sit down and drink some coffee. Or something stronger,” he said, taking my face in his hands. I threw him a weak smile and nodded. In that moment, in Dane’s arms, I would have agreed to anything.