Chapter 20
Dane
I was sitting on the kitchen floor, with my back against the bottom cupboards. Sydney was still lying on the kitchen table, her arms and legs dangling off the edges. We were both still breathing hard. When she looked at me, her cheeks were flushed and her hair was damp and stuck to her forehead.
“That wasn’t supposed to happen again,” she said in a quiet voice and finally started sitting up. She drew up her legs to her chin and wrapped her arms around her knees. I stared at her, still not sure of what to say. She was right, it probably wasn’t supposed to happen but I’d wanted it. That was exactly the reason why I’d stayed.
“Do you want me to apologize?” I asked her, in a kind voice. I wasn’t trying to put the blame on her, or be passive aggressive. I honestly didn’t know what she wanted. Sydney licked her lips and shook her head.
“I put us in a sensitive position,” she said and I threw my head back, knocking it against the cupboard door.
“For what it’s worth, that was fun,” I said, without looking at her and I sensed Sydney smiling as well.
“Yeah, but you’re my guest. I just burdened you with my whole life story and basically manipulated you into have sex with me,” she said and I looked at her with my eyebrows arched.
“Manipulated me? Do I come across as a guy who can be manipulated?” I said and she grinned, despite herself.
“Fine. We both wanted it,” she said.
“It wasn’t so bad, was it?” I asked her and she shook her head.
“No, it wasn’t,” she replied in a soft voice and our eyes met again. It was a tender gaze. I was surprised that I wasn’t afraid of it. My first reaction after sleeping with someone was to make a run for it, and here I was satisfied with just sitting there on the floor and talking to her. We were both naked and comfortable in our nudity, and I couldn’t stop myself from gazing at her breasts, at the spot between her legs where I had just come inside her. She was beautiful and soft and I wanted her again.
“So, what are you going to do now?” I asked her and Sydney looked at me questioningly.
“About what?” she asked and I shrugged my shoulders. I didn’t want to spoil the mood we were enjoying.
“About Leo. About calling your ex,” I said and she looked away from me.
“I don’t know…I haven’t decided yet,” she said.
“So, I didn’t fuck you out of it, did I?” I said with a smile and she laughed. I enjoyed watching her smile and laugh. It filled me with a warmth I had never experienced before. Sydney shook her head and looked out of the window towards the beach.
“I don’t have feelings for him, Dane. You’re wrong about that. I was attracted to him, but I think even that’s gone now,” she said.
“So, why do you want to do him a favor like this?” I asked her, staring at her profile as she continued looking out. She shrugged her shoulders. Her hair was on either sides of her shoulders, delicately covering her breasts. Her back was arched and her chin was on her knees. She looked like a work of art to me.
“You want to speak to him, your ex, James…you’ve merely been looking for an excuse to call him up,” I stated and she remained silent. She wasn’t going to answer me.
“You’re still not over him. After what he did to you,” I said and stood up from the floor. I wasn’t sure why I was so angry. It wasn’t like Sydney was my girlfriend. I barely knew her. I was jealous and angry and upset, just because she wanted to call her ex boyfriend.
“I am over him. That’s not it,” she said and looked over at me.
I had started picking my clothes up off the floor. Without looking at her, I pulled up my pants.
“No, seriously. I don’t have feelings for James any more. That isn’t why I want to call him,” she said and swung her legs over the table. I didn’t want to look at her. I didn’t want to look at Sydney’s naked body because I knew I’d be weak again. She was on her own course, she had a different agenda. Us sleeping together meant nothing to her, while surprisingly it meant everything to me.
“Dane…I just want to call him because I want him to know I’m okay. That I’ve moved on from him,” she said and jumped off the table. She was still a few feet away from me as I buttoned up my shirt. When I finally looked at her, Sydney’s brown eyes were wide and she was staring at me.
I clenched my jaw, while tucking my shirt into my pants again.
“Don’t kid yourself, Sydney,” I said and ran my fingers through my hair.
I didn’t wait for a response, instead I turned away from her and walked out of the kitchen and to the front door. I was out of the house in a matter of minutes and walking on the beach, towards the sea again.
I needed the fresh air, and I needed to put some distance between us. I shouldn’t have gotten myself involved, I knew that. I was angry with myself for being weak around her. For sleeping with a woman and opening myself to her, when she clearly was using me the way I had used so many others before her. I felt like this was the Universe’s redemption. First my job, and now this. It was like I was being taught a lesson. I shouldn’t have played with all those women who came before Sydney. I should have been more understanding towards their feelings.