Chapter 21
Sydney
I watched Dane walking towards the sea, while I got myself dressed in the kitchen. My body was still reeling from the pleasure and the shock of sleeping with him again. Sex with Dane felt different somehow. Not even with James did I remember feeling this way. Like I couldn’t get enough of him. Between my legs I could still feel where he’d driven into me, emptied himself into me again…my orgasms with him were different too. They were freeing and explosive. I wanted to feel his arms around me, I wanted to bury my face in his shoulders again.
I watched Dane from the chair at the kitchen table. I looked longingly at him as he walked. He was tall and brooding with a wide, strong back. I knew how those muscles felt under my fingertips. The same muscles on his shoulders that were stretching the white linen crumpled shirt he was wearing now. He had his hands in the pockets of his jeans. His chestnut hair was ruffled in the breeze, and every time he turned his face sideways, I caught sight of the sharpness of his nose, of his clenched jaw. What was he thinking? Why was I thinking about him?
Dane was right about everything he said. I shouldn’t even have been considering calling James. Like I told Leo, that Chapter of my life was over and I shouldn’t open it up again. It could only lead to more embarrassment and heartache. I should have been taking Dane’s advice and forgetting about Leo’s request. What had Leo done for me? Other than lead me on and then sleep with other women right in front of me!
I looked up at Dane again, he was kicking sand with his feet and I couldn’t help but smile. I had no clue who he was. He was secretive about his life, but there was no denying that he was rich and successful. He was well spoken and smart and most importantly; treated me with respect. I knew I should be allowing myself to fall under his spell. I was already under his spell, but I was also aware of the reason why I wasn’t giving way to what I really wanted. I wanted to be with Dane, to give him a chance, but he reminded me of James too much.
He was like a younger version of James, charming and handsome and successful. From what I could tell, he was probably richer than James too. I didn’t want to admit it but my brain was functioning on a sort of defense mechanism. I didn’t want to fall for another guy who reminded me of James. I was afraid of what Dane could do to me.
Leo on the other hand was the complete opposite. He was rustic, a musician, had a different kind of rowdy charm. I wasn’t sure which was better, but at the very least, Leo was nothing like James and worlds apart from Dane. That was the reason why I was forcing myself to still entertain Leo’s games. I believed that anyone who wasn’t like James would be better.
When I looked again, Dane had gone out of sight. I sighed because instantly, I missed him. It was like just watching him gave me some kind of comfort. My mind was torn into two. One half wanted to push Dane away because of what James had done to me, while the other half couldn’t help but accept the undeniable attraction I felt for him. Leo only made me giggle and blush and feel jealous of the women I slept with. Dane made me feel safe, I wanted to tell him everything there was to know about me, I knew I could be myself around him.
There was a knock on the door, and I assumed Dane had come back and couldn’t find the key. I patted the top of my head to smoothen my hair and I thrust my breasts out as I walked to the door. Whatever was going through my mind, my body had no clue…it still reacted in the same sexual way to the thought of Dane.
I swung the front door open wide and Leo was standing on the other side. He had a bouquet of flowers in his hand and he extended it towards me, with a big smile on his face.
“I wanted to personally come over and give you something for what you’re doing for me,” he said and I took the flowers from him. I didn’t want to invite him in, in fact I was upset to see him there instead of Dane.
“Thanks, Leo, but I haven’t done anything yet and I don’t know if I’ll be able to,” I said to him, but he didn’t look fazed by it.
“It doesn’t matter, Sydney. Just the fact that you’re willing to try means a lot to me,” he said and again, he threw his arms around me without being invited to. He embraced me in a hug, to which my body froze. I wasn’t comfortable being touched by him any more. That attraction had fizzled out in a matter of one day. Now I had Dane on my mind.
Leo didn’t seem to notice, and pushing past me, he came into my house. I shut the door after him and swung around to watch as he walked into the living room.
“It’s a cozy place you have here, Sydney. I’m sorry I haven’t visited before,” he said and sat down on the couch. I had followed him in and remained standing with the bouquet still in my hands. I wasn’t sure what to make of this. I was aware of being annoyed with him, for being so pushy. I wanted to be alone or be with Dane, not with him.
“Come sit with me, Sydney…I want to get to know you,” he said, and with his blue eyes sparkling at me, he gave me a smile.