Chapter 35
Sydney
When I came into the house, Cora was waiting for me with Emilia. I took the baby from her, gave her some cash and politely asked her to leave. I needed some time to myself. Alone with my daughter, so that I could process everything that had happened this morning.
First Leo, and now Dane! I gazed at Emilia’s smiling face as she sat on the carpeted floor, trying to make sense of her new building blocks. I wanted to cry. I wanted to smash a plate or go for a run, but I couldn’t. I had no option but to sit on the couch and watch my daughter play. That was the responsibility that I was talking about. I couldn’t behave like a single twenty-something any more. I had Emilia to think about. I didn’t want to cry in front of her either, and upset her.
I decided to bake instead, just to calm my nerves.
So, the next couple of hours, I spent baking a pecan tart and then some focaccia bread, working tirelessly to knead the dough to the right consistency. Emilia continued to play, sometimes calling out to me and I kept a steady eye on her. This was my life now. Just Em and me. It had no place for a man, and definitely not Dane or Leo.
It was only after I had fed Emilia and put her to bed in her crib, when I finally sat down on the couch in front of the TV with a plate of mac and cheese for myself. Just before I turned the TV on, I heard the bell ring.
Dane! I thought again and before I walked over to the door, I checked in on Emilia to make sure she was still sleeping. I ran back down the stairs and went to the door and opened it without looking through the peephole.
Leo stormed in, soaking wet. It had started to rain outside at some point and I hadn’t even noticed.
“Leo!” I cried, as he barged into the house, dripping rain water all over the wooden flooring. He made his way straight for the kitchen and I followed him.
“What are you doing here? Seriously, you can’t just come into my house without being invited!” I said in a slightly raised voice. I was aware of Emilia sleeping upstairs, but at the same time, I didn’t want Leo to think that he could do what he wanted.
Leo ran a hand through his wet blond hair. I noticed then that his eyes were small and he looked angry. The tip of his nose was red, and he didn’t seem to care about how soaking wet he was.
“What is going on, Sydney?” he said in a low growl and my brows crossed.
“What is going on with you?” I snapped at him in confusion.
“What is happening between you and Dane Forsyth?” he barked, a little too loudly now and my mouth fell open. I was slightly lost for words and then I shook my head.
“That is none of your concern!” I said, staying put at the door of the kitchen. Leo was looking about him, he was angry. I saw that he had bunched up his fists.
“Cora saw you kissing him. She was minding Emilia inside, while you were making out with a tourist outside your door!” Leo’s voice was really rowdy now and my nostrils flared with rage.
“Why are you here screaming at me? How does it matter who I’m kissing?” I was trying to keep my voice down but Leo was testing my patience.
“Because you have…you have Emilia now. You have a daughter!” he replied and I widened my eyes at him and crossed my arms over my breasts.
“Are you on some kind of moral battle with me? You want me to behave appropriately because I’m a mother now? Is that it?” I said, trying to keep my voice even. There was no point in us both yelling.
Leo was glaring at me now, his shoulders were heaving, his face had gotten redder. I could see that he was ready to erupt.
“I’m trying to give Emilia a family. With her real father,” he said, with a drop in his voice. What he said made no sense to me.
“What?” I said. Who was he talking about? He was clearly not talking about Dane as his actual father.
“I want Emilia to have a normal family life, with her mother and father. And even though we have never had a relationship, I want us to try and do it for her sake,” Leo’s voice was shaky as he spoke. I took in a deep breath.
“What are you talking about, Leo? Who do you think Em’s father is?” I asked him.
He gave me a look of surprise, and then took in a deep breath.
“I don’t remember that night. I’ll admit it. I was very drunk. I’m sorry about that, but I’m not the kind of guy to shrug responsibility,” he said and took a few steps towards me.
“What night? What are you talking about?” I asked him again and Leo came closer to me.
“That night…you know, the one when you came to listen to my music,” he said and my jaw fell open. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing.
“You think we slept together that night?” I said and I couldn’t control the smile that had erupted on my face. Leo looked confused.
“What are you saying, Sydney?” he asked and I shook my head, still smiling.
“No, Leo…you slept with that girl, Melissa. At her hotel room,” I said and he stared at me with narrowed eyes.
“But I woke up in my own bed. And I thought it was you, because I remembered talking to you,” he continued and I kept shaking my head.
“I reminded you of her when we met the next day remember?” I said, a little more kindly now. Leo looked confused again, and I realized in that moment that he wasn’t very bright.
“Yeah…did you? I can’t remember,” he said, his voice fading.
I allowed myself to laugh a little.
“Leo, we never slept together. You never got me pregnant and Em is not your daughter,” I said and I patted him on his arm, in a friendly way. Leo’s face broke out in a smile of relief. It was like I had bestowed the gift of freedom upon him. He laughed and I laughed too. We were both relieved.
“Whose daughter is she, then?” Dane’s voice snapped me out of that laugh and I spun around to find him standing at the kitchen door. His hands were in his pockets and his dark eyes were narrowed and sparkling.
“Your key was under the red flower pot as usual,” he said and stepped into the light of the kitchen. My mouth fell open, I wanted to cry out and run upstairs to Emilia.
“I heard screaming inside and I took the liberty to check in on you,” Dane said and I stepped away, from both Leo and him. Leo turned to look at me, a look of realization had finally come over his face. He saw it more clearly now. He had finally figured out what I thought he already knew.
“Sydney, I’m gonna head home now,” he said and slunk away from the kitchen silently. Dane didn’t even move for him. Leo had to squeeze past him to get through the door.
The look on Dane’s face was a mixture of rage and hurt. His face was darkened, his jaw was clenched, his eyes were dripping with primal anger. I had stepped as far away from him as possible and he hadn’t even tried to come closer to me.
“Tell me Sydney, whose daughter is she?” he asked and I gulped. How long had he been standing there, listening? I wanted to scream and order him to leave my house. I wasn’t afraid that he would hurt me. I had been in his arms, I had looked into his eyes…Dane Forsyth would never physically harm me. But he was capable of more, of hurting my heart and that was what I was afraid of.
“Tell me!” he barked and his voice startled me. I looked over at the baby monitor on the kitchen table, Emilia was thankfully still fast asleep.
“I don’t need to tell you anything,” I managed to say and Dane took in a deep breath.
“You had a baby, and you didn’t tell me? You had my child and you kept that from me for so long?” Dane’s voice was slicing through the air. His eyes were cold as ice. I could see the ruthlessness in him. The power he commanded.
“You left!” I blurted out, before I could stop myself. There was no point in denying it any more. He knew the truth already.
“I left because you wanted me gone. You kept my daughter from me, because you were selfish!” Dane was yelling again and I felt hot tears prick the back of my eyelids.
“Where was I supposed to find you?” I cried and Dane threw his hands up in the air from frustration.
“The internet. You had my PA’s email address, you could have got in touch with me that way,” he growled and I walked around the table to the other side and looked out of the window. I was slowly calming down again.
“I didn’t know what you wanted,” I managed to say, just about able to hold back the tears that were struggling to pour out.
“That is a terrible excuse, Sydney. Come up with something better. You kept her away from me because you wanted her all to yourself. Just like right now. You didn’t even tell me the truth when I came back here. I’m right here and you’re still denying it. I wouldn’t have ever found out if I hadn’t come back!” Dane was speaking in a more hushed voice now and through gritted teeth.
I gulped and continued to look out at the dark waves outside. I didn’t know what to think anymore. I didn’t even know if he was right. I was afraid of this happening.
“Where is she?” he barked.
“Upstairs, in the room you stayed in before,” I said, still in a soft voice. Dane turned on his heels and started hurrying out of the kitchen.
“Her name is Emilia,” I called after him. Dane stopped in his tracks for a moment and then continued on his way.
I was alone in the kitchen again. I tried to listen to the sounds of his footsteps. He was taking two at a time. Then the door of Em’s nursery squeaked open and my tears came flowing out of me.
The baby monitor blinked on the table, I heard Dane’s heavy breathing. He hadn’t said a word yet, but I could sense that he was looking down at his daughter lovingly.
“Hello, my baby…you’re beautiful. I’m so sorry, but daddy is here now sweetheart,” I heard him say, and my tears came down harder. I was wrong. I shouldn’t have kept Emilia away from her father. Not when he was a man like Dane. The little that I knew of him, I knew that he was an honorable person. I was wrong to think that he was like James. I was only fooling myself by keeping him away.
I had feelings for him…I was in love with him and yet I had pushed him away. He was right, I had already lost so much that I wanted Emilia all to myself.
I heard him cooing over the baby monitor again. My tears didn’t stop flowing, because I knew exactly what he was feeling right then. I had felt all those things too when I first laid my eyes on our daughter.