Chapter 43

Matt

"Matthew?" My father's voice woke me from a dream I was having about Erica leaving me. I jerked up in the bed, my body covered in sweat, my heart racing.

"Yeah. I'm in here." I pulled the covers up to cover my lower body and glanced toward the door as my father stopped just inside the room and smiled at me.

"I thought you were coming later this week?" He was fully dressed and wide awake.

I, on the other hand, was not. "What time is it?"

"Just after eleven. Karen is in the kitchen with Maria, so make sure you put some pants on before you go in there." He lifted his eyebrow at me.

"Yeah. Alright." I flopped back down on the bed. "What are your plans today? I need to chat with you about work."

"I'm free for the next hour. Get your lazy butt up and come talk to me in the office. I'll be working on a few things in there until I head to downtown."

"Is that bacon I smell?" I breathed in deeply. Something about being back in my dad's house had me feeling like a teenager. There was a freedom there that didn't exist anywhere else.

"Yeah." He chuckled before turning and walking out. "Get up and get dressed. Your whole damn day is going to be gone before you know it."

I groaned and rolled onto my stomach. My erection poked me in the stomach, and I'd have given just about anything to see my girl. I reached for my phone and called her before second guessing myself.

"Matt?" Erica's voice filled up the line, the sound of it sending shock waves down my back.

"Hey, baby," I mumbled, my voice thick with sleep.

She laughed. "You're such a playboy. It's almost lunchtime there. What are you doing?"

"I'm rolling around naked and hard in my bed, thinking about you."

"Rolling around, hm?" She giggled again, stealing my heart for the millionth time. Why in the world I thought I had to grow up and act like my brother to win a woman like her was beyond me. She wasn't looking for perfection, but a partnership. She'd be my best friend, my lover, my partner in everything before it was all said and done.

We were perfectly matched. Her dominate and in control outside of the bedroom, and me taking ownership of her tight little body in it.

"Yeah. I had a shitty dream though." I ran my fingers through my hair before lifting the cover to stare down at my dick. He wanted attention, but there was no time for it that morning.

"What was it about?" Concern swept into her tone.

"You left me for some young guy." I cleared my throat. "The one that bought the painting of you."

She snorted. "Young guy? You are a young guy."

"Yeah, but he had more money and the painting."

"That painting was beautiful, but it wasn't something I'd want hanging in our future house, Matt. How awkward would that be? Every time we had company, they'd know what I looked like naked."

"This is true." I forced myself to sit up. "What are you wearing?"

Another soft laugh. "A business suit."

"Underneath it?" I licked at the side of my mouth and reached down to tug on my cock a little. Maybe a few minutes of attention wouldn't hurt anything.

"White panties and a lacy white bra that shows my nipples." Her voice grew even softer. "You're breathing awfully hard over there."

"Am I?" I stood and walked over to close my bedroom door. "I can't stop thinking about you. You turn me on so much, baby."

"I know the feeling all too well." She paused for a second. "Touch yourself for me?"

"Already doing it." I sat down on the edge of the bed and gripped my shaft pretty hard. "Walk me through it?"

"What? No!" She sounded like heaven.

"Go lock your office door and let me walk you through it then. I wanna hear you come this morning."

"Matthew Bryant. Where is my good guy?"

"He's still sleeping, dreaming of kids and helping the homeless. Leave him there for a little bit. This part of me wants to hear you moan."

"No," she whispered roughly. "Call me tomorrow night, and I'll have time to play your games."

I lifted my hips, fucking myself as my eyes fluttered closed. "I don't want to wait until tomorrow, Erica. I want you now."

"And what would you do to me if you could have me?" Her panting was going to drive me mad.

"I'd bend you over your desk and grip your hair tightly as I worked myself into your warm, wet body." I opened my eyes as my body throbbed with the promise of release. "Are you wet for me?"

"I'm always wet for you. Stop playing around in Texas and come home to me."

I groaned and laid back, pressing my feet into the bed as I continued to stroke myself, my hands becoming hers. "God, I need you. You have me addicted to you. Did you know that."

"Play with your balls for me," she whispered and moaned a few times.

That's all I needed. I jerked back and let out a long string of groans as I released, her naughty words taking me farther and farther down a delicious hole of depravity.

I released myself and tried to catch my breath as she said her goodbyes.

"God, that was hot. I love the thought of you naked and touching yourself." She let out a soft yelp. "Gotta go. Love you."

She hung up before I could reply, but her quick exit had me smiling. Someone had obviously walked in. I was going to try my damnedest to get her to quit M&B and come work with me in an art gallery. It was part of my one year plan, and I'd have done just about anything to make it a reality.

"Matthew. Let's go, son," my father barked just outside the door.

"Shit. Alright." I got up and walked to the bathroom to clean up my mess. I should have forced Erica to come to Dallas with me on the trip. Being away from her sucked far too much.

After I got myself together, I walked out of the bedroom and made a beeline for the kitchen. My father sat at the table with a paper and a cup of coffee. The sight of him sitting there brought back a million memories, not all of them good.

"Sorry. I was on the phone with Erica." I grabbed a plate and filled it with everything left over from breakfast. After finding a fork, I walked over and sat down across from the man I'd always seen as a hero. "You have a good time on your getaway with Karen."

"I sure did." He folded the paper and leaned back in his chair. "Let me guess what you wanted to talk to me about. Leaving McKenzie and Bryant?"

I stiffened. "It's that obvious?"

He chuckled. "I never want you to be something you're not. I do want to know that you're growing up and becoming the kind of man who can provide for a family, but you doing that by working for me was never the plan."

"Because you already have Damon?" I had to choose my words carefully. My big brother meant everything to me, and yet there was a part of me that never felt good enough because of the man he was.

"Because I love you just the way you are, son." He dropped his hands into his lap and let out a soft sigh. "I like the idea of you working for my company because I know I can take care of you and pay you tons of money. It's not like you'll take money from me any other way."

"No, I won't." I shook my head. I might have been a slack-ass for the last few years, but I didn't owe anyone a damn dime.

"I know, so you working at M&B was a good way to let you just be you and still pay you for it."

"I appreciate that Dad, I really do, but I can't fit into that mold. It's not comfortable, and I feel like it's time to man up and follow my dreams. Especially now that we all can see that my painting career can actually pay the bills." I took a piece of bacon and rolled it up before shoving it into my mouth.

"I always knew that if you got serious about your art that you could do great things." He reached up and cupped his chin as his eyes moved about my face. "I saw the painting you did of Damon when he was a teenager."

"Yeah. He had a rough couple of years." I shrugged and glanced down at my plate, not really wanting to talk about the darker parts of my raising.

"And I want you to know that I'm sorry for my part in all of that." He reached out and touched my forearm. "I'd take it all away from both of you if I could."

"Dad." I glanced up. "It's not your fault that mom was a cheating whore-bag."

He stiffened. "Don't talk about your mother like that."

"Really right now?" I pulled my arm from his grasp and leaned back, feeling all of twelve. "She cheated on you and made Damon promise not to tell you."

"She was lonely, Matt. It was practically my fault that she found comfort in the arms of another man."

"Do you hear yourself?" I pushed my plate away, not feeling so good. "She didn't sleep with one guy, but many."

"Look at me." He gripped my arm again, tighter this time. "Your mother fucked up pretty bad, yes, but I loved her, and she loved me. Everything isn't black and white like you'd like to believe it is. Use your heart for a second and see the colors of our story, Matt. Read between the lines on all of it."

"What are you talking about?" Something like ice water raced down my spine. "Did you do something to hurt her before she hurt you?"

His expression saddened. "Yes. I slept with someone at the office and thought about leaving her, but I couldn't go through with it. We both made mistakes, son."

"Wow." I stood up and crossed my arms over my chest. "I have no clue what to think about that."

"Then don't think about it," he offered. "It's the past, and your mother and I both knew that we'd made horrible mistakes and hurt each other. I held her as she died, Matt, and I wished the whole time that I could go back and wipe away my affair. It's what started all of it." His eyes filled with tears. "There are days that I blame myself for her cancer. For her death." He shrugged. "I know it's stupid, but something about the human spirit begs the need for fault, for resolution, for understanding. And if we can't see it clearly, we'll create it out of nothingness. I harmed your mother, and she repaid me for it, but you know what she never did?"

"What, Dad?" My heart ached in my chest. There were so many more layers to the relationships around me than I thought possible. It forced me to want to dig into Erica's sadness. What was the underlying layer that was sucking away her joy, and better yet, how could I help heal it?

"She never told you boys about my affair. Even when Damon caught her in hers." He reached up and wiped his face. "I love you, son. I want you to be happy and live a full life. If that's working with your art and living in Seattle, then I fully support it."

"And me wanting to marry Erica?"

"I support that too." He gave me a sideways smile. "You're not planning on trying to take her away from the company too, are you?"

I offered him a grin in response. "It has crossed my mind a few times."

"Why am I not surprised by this?" He reached up and picked up his paper. "How long are you here for?"

"I'm leaving after lunch. I was going to stay until the end of the week, but I thought I would need some time to convince you not to be upset with my decision to walk away from M&B." I reached down and grabbed another piece of bacon from my plate. "I want to get back to Erica. Something is going on with her. I want to know what."

"Nothing to convince me of. I trust your judgment." He pulled the paper up in front of his face. "I don't want another Damon, Matthew. I want you. Just like you are."

"Thanks, Dad." I picked up my plate and walked to the bedroom, feeling almost light, like I could float down the hallway. My last concern was what my father would think of me, and I had it all wrong.

He was glad I was who I was. It was time for me to settle into that same place, accepting myself, all parts of my personality.

Even the wild ones.