Chapter 24

Andrew

Fingers laced behind my head, I stared at the ceiling above my bed, thoughts running a thousand miles per hour.

What were the chances of Bob being Lanie’s father? How come he never corrected me and told me she went by a nickname and not by Elizabeth? Was this moral? Was this a train wreck waiting to happen?

Bob had been my closest friend for years. I couldn’t go behind his back and date his daughter. Right?

Sighing, I turned to look at the pillow next to me. Every morning I woke up, the bed seemed larger, too spacious for one person. I’d thought Lanie would be sharing the mattress with me the night before, warming not only a bed but a spot in my life that had been vacant for far too long.

Still, my body ached for her. It didn’t understand why my damn head hadn’t allowed her to come over.

It’s too complicated, I reminded myself as I hauled my ass up. With what happened at the fundraiser and Raven not feeling well, there was too much going on. As badly as I needed Lanie in my arms, I also needed to take a step back and process things.

Despite spending half the night awake tossing and turning, I still hadn’t figured shit out. As it turns out, thinking can be highly overrated.

Being as quiet as I could, I crept down the hallway toward Raven’s room. There were a few more hours to go before Karen arrived for work, Sunday being her half day, and I wanted to make sure Raven had everything she needed.

“Raven?” I quietly asked with a knock on her door.

No answer. Slowly turning the knob, I peeked in. She lay on her side, asleep and breathing evenly. On the bed next to her were her headphones and a book.

So she’d fallen asleep reading and listening to music—something she’d liked to do since I first allowed her to listen to music in bed.

In addition to the teenage paraphernalia littering the sheets, Raven looked calm and at peace. Stepping into the room, I felt her forehead and noted the perfect temperature.

It seemed Raven was not sick at all. Not anymore, that was.

Had she been lying to me the night before? I’d had to get on the stage too soon. If she and Lanie had a conversation, I didn’t have a guess as to what they’d talked about. She’d been silent the whole way home, leaning with her face pressed against the window. I’d chalked that up to her not feeling well, but maybe I was wrong.

It could be Raven knew more than she was revealing.

Discomfort formed a tight ball in my chest. Raven had been doing so well, not acting out at all.

Feigning sickness was an old trick, one she used to employ when she wanted to get out of something.

Checking my sigh, I slipped back out of the room and retrieved my phone from the charger next to my bed. I wanted to find a text from Lanie but wasn’t surprised it didn’t exist. I’d blown her off the night before. There were excuses, but none of them good enough.

Cradling the phone in the palm of my hand, I stared at its screen. It was still early yet, but there was a chance Lanie would be up. My muscles yearned to get into the pool and swim, and my fingers itched to get into the office and work, but my heart ached to hear Lanie’s silky voice.

Taking the phone downstairs, I sequestered myself off in the kitchen, the furthest room from Raven’s, before taking a seat and making the call.

“Hey,” Lanie answered, sounding surprised.

“Hi.” Just hearing her speak had me instantly relaxing. I leaned back into the kitchen chair and took the first clean breath of the morning. “This isn’t too early, is it?”

“No. I, uh, I’ve been awake for a while now. I didn’t sleep too well.”

“Same here.” I rubbed my tired eyes, feeling exhausted just talking about it.

“So.” Uncertainty dripped from the one little word.

“That was wild last night,” I said.

Lanie sighed. “How could we not know that you know my dad?”

“I more than know him,” I quietly answered. “We’ve been pretty close friends for years.”

A long silence followed.

“He doesn’t make a lot of time to let me in on his life,” Lanie quietly said.

The comment was a puzzling one, and I wasn’t sure how to respond.

“So I guess I shouldn’t be surprised about you and him,” she continued. “Hell, you might know him better than I do.”

There was a bitterness in her voice I’d never heard before. Like a bolt of lightning, it all suddenly made sense. This was why Lanie understood mine and Raven’s dilemma so well. I knew I was a workaholic, but Bob was just as bad. Maybe worse.

No doubt Lanie had spent a lot of her life feeling the same way Raven recently had. Ignored. Neglected.

“Lanie,” I gasped. “I’m sorry.”

“For what?”

I struggled to find the right words. I didn’t want to pry into their relationship, but I was willing to bet money that Bob and Lanie didn’t see each other on a regular basis.

“I could have connected the dots,” I settled for saying instead.

“No, you couldn’t have. Dad still calls me Elizabeth sometimes, so it makes sense he’d let other people do the same.”

I nodded, though she couldn’t see me, and I also knew it was still not a proper excuse.

“Does he,” I cleared my throat. “Does he know about us?”

“No. I haven’t told my parents anything.”

“Okay.” Relief rushed through me, quickly followed by guilt. I shouldn’t have been worried about what Bob would say, but I was.

And it was more than that. This whole relationship, one that previously belonged to just me and Lanie, had suddenly become about everyone else as well. Bob. Raven.

“I’m not so sure Raven is sick,” I found myself saying.

“I know she didn’t throw up.”

“Really?” That made me sit up straighter. “How?”

“Because I was in the bathroom with her the whole time she was in there. I think she’s mad at me for not just telling my dad about us.”

“Why would she be mad?” I asked, even though I could probably answer that myself.

“I guess it seems to her like we’re sneaking around. Or maybe like I don’t respect you because I haven’t said anything.”

“I know you respect me. Raven doesn’t get it. She’s seventeen.”

“Yep. But I didn’t point that out.”

“Good. You might have gotten your head bitten off.” I chuckled, but it didn’t feel good like laughter was supposed to.

Lanie’s pitiful sigh made my heart hurt. “What now? What are we going to do? Do we tell him?”

I bit the inside of my cheek, wishing I had the answers we both needed. “I get why Raven would be upset to think we’re sneaking around. I don’t want to feel like it’s that way.”

“We weren’t,” she said in a small voice.

“Yes, but if we continue to see each other without telling your parents, it will be sneaking around.”

More silence filled the conversation, and I wished I could take back the “but” in my statement. It made the whole situation sound too precarious, like I had no faith in the two of us at all.

“You don’t want to tell them, do you?”

“My dad will be so angry,” she instantly said. “You must know that. You’re, like, his best friend, right?”

It was supposed to be a joke, but it didn’t land its mark.

“I can’t lie to him, Lanie,” I insisted.

“What is he going to say when you tell him? Do you honestly think it’ll go well?”

I chewed that over. Bob was a strong-willed man. An opinionated one. A pretty traditional one, as well. And protective. Even if he didn’t spend enough time with his family, I knew from the way he’d spoken in the past that he cared deeply for them.

I wouldn’t put it past him to lay a punch on anyone who threatened anything of his. No matter who the recipient of the hit might be.

“I need some time, Andrew. To think this over.”

I sighed, pinching the bridge of my nose and squeezing my eyes shut. My head was aching from a need for sleep, caffeine, and Lanie’s touch.

It was time to get serious about this situation, though.

“I’m a little worried about Raven,” I admitted. “If there’s too much discord ...”

“She might revert to old patterns.”

“Yeah. Maybe.” I opened my eyes and stared at the barren kitchen wall. “Maybe we should take a step back. Cool things for a bit. Just a week or so until you—until we—figure things out.”

“Oh.”

I chomped down on my lip, hating myself for the disappointment in her voice. “Just for a while. We only started things anyway.”

Shut up, shut up, Andrew.

I was saying the wrong things, but I couldn’t help it. Whenever I opened my mouth, something dumb tumbled out.

“Okay,” Lanie said, a new tightness in her voice.

I straightened up in the chair, simultaneously needing the conversation to end right away and wishing it would never have to.

“Good. I think that’s for the best. I’ll talk to you soon?”

“Yeah. Bye.”

“Bye.”

She hung up first, clearly eager to get off the phone.

“Shit,” I spat, putting the phone down on the breakfast table and leaning over my knees.

The creaking of the floorboards made me look up. Raven entered the kitchen, her hair still tousled from sleep. “Who were you talking to?”

“I didn’t realize you were up.”

She ignored me, going straight to the fridge and getting out the orange juice. “Who were you talking to?” she repeated.

“Lanie.”

Christ, even the name was delicious sin now.

There was no reaction on Raven’s face. She heavily set a glass down on the counter so that it made a loud clinking noise and filled it to the brim with juice. Judging by her actions, she was trying to get on my nerves.

“What did she want?”

“Just to talk.”

Raven peered at me over the top of her glass.

“Are you feeling better?”

She blinked fast and set her glass down. Maybe she’d already forgotten she was supposed to be sick. “A little. It must have been those puffed shrimp.”

I smirked. We both know she didn’t eat anything at the event other than cheese and crackers. Everything else was “gross, snobby food.”

“So you know Lanie’s dad?” Raven studied me intently, maybe waiting to see if I’d try to lie.

“Yeah. We’ve been good friends for years.”

“I’ve never met him.”

Because we’re both workaholics who ignore our families until it’s too late, I thought.

“You met him once,” I said instead. “Years ago, when you were little.”

She swirled around what was left of her juice, leaning against the counter and watching me like I was on trial. “Okay,” she finally said.

With that, she put her glass in the sink and walked away.

“Where are you going?” I called after her.

“Bed,” she shouted over her shoulder while crossing the living room. “I still don’t feel good.”

Right.

With Raven back upstairs, I hauled my ass up to get changed for the morning’s laps in the pool. I already knew there would be no falling back to sleep for me. I might as well get shit done.

As I changed into my swimming trunks, the conversation with Lanie ran on repeat in my head. I couldn’t shake her disappointment. Or my own.

The fact that she didn’t want to tell her dad about us meant something, though. And I got it. I did. I wasn’t about to waltz into Bob’s office and fill him in on the sexual escapades I’d been having with his daughter, a woman seventeen years my junior.

It was more than being worried about his reaction, though. I didn’t want to hurt Lanie’s relationship with her dad. She’d done so much when it came to helping out Raven and me. The time had come for me to repay the favor.

No matter what happened next, I couldn’t let the people I cared about burn bridges with each other.

As I dove into the indoor pool, I reminded myself that I’d done the right thing. The cold water rushed along my skin, and I put all my energy into the first breaststroke.

Yes, I’d done the right thing.

But then why did I still feel so shitty?