Chapter 28

Andrew

 

The kitchen sang with life as Karen flipped, stirred, and blended. With the morning sun’s rays coming through the windows, the day rang with a familiarity I hadn’t felt in a long time. Or maybe that I hadn’t noticed.

“Here you are, Mr. Marx.” My housekeeper set the green smoothie down in front of me with a flourish. I inspected it warily. “Yes, I know it’s a new recipe. But don’t worry. You won’t even taste the greens.”

“All right.” I shrugged and took a sip, nothing but pineapple and banana on my tongue.

“Now if we can get Raven to drink one of these,” Karen muttered, going back to the counter.

“Did you see her last night?” I asked.

“No.” She turned the dishwasher on, frowning. “She wasn’t back when I left around six.”

“Oh.” I looked away. It seemed Raven had taken my encouragement that she spend more time with her peers to heart. I’d barely seen her since the fundraiser the weekend before.

Or maybe she was avoiding me.

“Karen, has Raven talked to you at all?”

Drying her hands on a dishtowel, she turned to face me. “About what?”

I ran my palm along my freshly-shaved jaw. “About anything. Life. Me.”

I had to stop there. I’d always been very private. Even my housekeeper who had been with me for years knew very little about my personal life.

“No, she’s just been doing her thing. I tried to talk to her the other day about school, but she wouldn’t say much.”

“Ah. Thanks.”

Karen smiled, and there was a hint of sympathy there. “I suppose I’ll go get that grocery shopping done.”

“Thanks.” I pulled my phone out and lowered my face to it, too embarrassed to look her in the eye. Within a few minutes, I was alone in the kitchen, the ticking of the wall clock acting as a calming metronome while I answered the morning’s emails.

With work taken care of for at least the next few hours, I clicked on Lanie’s name and sent her a message. Hope it goes well today. Can’t wait to see you later.

Grinning to myself, I set the phone face-down on the table. Tonight was the night I would finally get Lanie all to myself. It had been too long, each moment we’d been apart stricken by the prospect of never seeing each other again.

But all the aching would soon be over. I’d made Lanie mine before, but tonight I’d claim her in a way no man ever had. She’d be shaking with ecstasy by the time I finished with her.

A thump sounded above my head, and I looked up at the ceiling. Raven was up, and in a bad mood, judging by the loud stomping around.

I took a long inhale, bracing myself for whatever attitude she would bring downstairs with her. A few minutes later, she entered the kitchen, still dressed in her pajamas and hair spilling out of a messy bun.

“Where’s Karen?” she immediately asked, rubbing her eyes.

“She went to the grocery store. I think she left you some smoothie in the blender.”

Raven peered into the blender and made a face before pulling a box of waffles from the freezer. I watched her from the corner of my eye, wondering how best to broach the topic I needed to.

Dropping two waffles into the toaster, she turned, leaned her back against the counter, and stifled a yawn. As she caught me watching her, her eyes narrowed. “What?”

“I want to talk to you about Lanie.”

Raven gave me a long, expressionless look. “Uh-huh?” she slowly slurred.

“I think you know about everything that’s been going on, about her father being my good friend.”

Raven kept staring at me, and I fought the need to squirm in my seat. I might have been tough and unforgiving at work, but when it came to my home life, one teenager could make me sweat bullets with nothing more than a look.

Behind Raven, her waffles popped up, but she ignored them.

“And I suppose you’ve noticed I haven’t been seeing her this last week,” I continued. “Well, we’ve talked, and we’re going to be spending time together again.”

Raven’s lips parted, and her stiff shoulders loosened. “You are?”

“Yes. How do you feel about that?”

“That’s good.” She turned around, busying herself with grabbing a plate.

I sat frozen, her response too good to be true. “Are you sure?”

“Why wouldn’t I be?” She poured syrup over her waffles.

“Watch the syrup,” I instructed.

Raven scowled.

“Karen thinks you’ve been eating too much sugar. She’s most likely right.”

With an eye roll, she sat down across from me. “Fine.”

Raven directed her attention to her breakfast. On and on she cut her waffles, tearing them into little pieces without putting any in her mouth.

“Are you sure you’re all right with this?” I asked.

Her hands froze. “I like her.”

“Good.”

She peeked up at me, briefly making eye contact before looking away again. “Are you going to marry her?”

The question was a punch knocking all the air out of my lungs. “It’s too early to think about that.”

“Okay.” She nodded.

I approached the next question carefully, knowing I could be putting my foot in my mouth. “Do you want me to remarry?”

Raven shrugged. “I don’t know.”

Before I could tell her it was perfectly fine not to know, she spoke again.

“Maybe. I mean, I like her. It’s just ...”

“What?”

“I don’t know, Dad,” she mumbled, looking at the floor. “Maybe I’m not meant to have a mother figure.”

“Raven,” I gasped. “Don’t say that.”

“Why not?” she countered with a steely look. “It’s how I feel.”

“Okay,” I nodded, wanting to diffuse the situation before it escalated into a fight. “That’s understandable. I don’t think anyone is ‘not meant’ to have something that’s supposed to be good, though. We’re not cursed or anything.”

The dubious look on her face said otherwise.

“Really,” I pushed. “What happened to Mom was an accident. Nothing more. She didn’t deserve it, and we didn’t deserve it.”

My heart tightened, and I looked down at my lap. We didn’t speak about Danica much. Raven had some therapy after her passing a decade before, but as for me, maybe I’d moved on too fast. I hadn’t predicted the ways Danica’s absence would affect Raven in the years to come. I’d focused on what the little girl Raven had lost, not what the teenager and young woman Raven would need.

“Yeah,” she said. “I know it wasn’t our fault.”

“Really?”

“Yes. Don’t worry, Dad.” Raven smiled. “I’m just being gloomy.”

“Okay.”

She finally started eating her waffles, but I couldn’t help but run everything we’d just said through my head for analysis. Did Raven believe life was hell-bent on taking things from her?

If that was the case, I wanted nothing more than to prove otherwise. Life could be really good, extraordinary even. I needed my smart, talented, spirited daughter to see that.

“You can talk to me anytime you need to, Raven. All right?”

She nodded, pulling her phone out.

“No phones at the table.”

“Seriously? Yours is right there.”

I quickly set my phone on the chair next to me. “Now it’s not.”

Raven guffawed but put her phone down as well.

“How is your bedroom going? Did you finish all the flowers yet?”

She shrugged. “It’s okay. I have to mix a couple of the pinks to get some shading for the roses.”

“Do you want any help?”

Her eyes lit up. “Really? You have time?”

“Certainly.”

“Yeah, sure.” She twirled her fork around her plate, stealing a look at her phone.

“I saw that.”

“Whatever.” She grinned. “Like you’re not addicted to yours. You were probably sending Miss Jacobs heart emojis before I came in here.”

“I’m offended you would even think I’d ever use a heart emoji.”

Raven laughed, and with that beautiful sound, my spirits finally lifted. “Have you been thinking any more about college?”

“Some,” she cautiously answered. “But I don’t know.”

“Where to go?”

She nibbled on her lip. “What to study.”

“I thought you’d already decided on art.”

She shrugged. “Yeah, but is that what you want me to study?”

I felt my jaw drop. “Raven, it’s not about me. You need to pick whatever major is right for you.”

“Yeah, but art is so, like, the opposite of what you do.”

“So?”

“So you wouldn’t be, you know, disappointed in me if I did that?”

“No. Raven, no.” I didn’t know what else to say other than that. I’d never known that what I thought mattered so much to her. For years, the attitude she’d presented said otherwise.

“What about business? Don’t you want me to go into that?”

“No.” I laughed out of shock.

“Okay.” She relaxed back in her chair.

“I just want you to be happy. I can’t say that enough.”

“What about making money? What if I can’t make it as an artist?”

“Lots of people do.”

“And lots don’t.”

I folded my arms. “Isn’t this supposed to be the other way around? Aren’t you the one who is supposed to be arguing that you need to follow your heart?”

“Maybe.” She grinned.

“Look, does it seem like we need any more money? I’ve worked for years to get here. Half of the point of being rich is that your kids get to do whatever they want.”

Luckily, the joke hit, making Raven laugh and shake her head.

“Whatever,” she muttered, setting her plate in the sink. “I’m going to take a shower.”

I listened to her footsteps retreat, staying where I sat and looking out the window. The last, brown leaves rattled on the trees in the backyard. Fall was almost over. Winter would be gone before I knew it as well.

Raven’s words on having a mother in her life had shaken me. I’d never realized she craved a female figure so much. Apparently, I’d erroneously believed that Karen had filled that place.

Though she was nearing adulthood, perhaps the time to start thinking about settling down again was more important than ever. Raven was finally getting serious about her life, pulling her grades up in school and planning a future. I would be there for her as much as I could, but there were some areas in which a father fell short.

A mom. A wife.

For the first time in ten years, the idea didn’t bring any negative feelings along with it. In fact, all it brought me was hope.

I imagined having a stepmother at home to greet Raven on her breaks from school. Someone to have girl talks with. Someone she could rely on.

Someone I could rely on. Someone I could take care of and love.

My phone buzzed in the chair next to me, and I snatched it up in the blink of an eye.

Thanks, Lanie had written. I can’t wait to see you either.

The innocent response heated my blood, and an animalistic growl rumbled in my throat. I’d be counting down the hours until Lanie was in my arms.

My thumbs hovered over the keys, and I shot a quick glance over my shoulder to make sure I was still alone.

The rows of emojis taunted me, insisting they needed to be used. Despite what I’d told Raven, the draw was strong, too powerful to be ignored.

“Screw it,” I muttered, selecting a heart emoji and hitting send.