Chapter 23

Matt

"Matt," Damon called after me as I walked down the hall, away from the conference room. I ignored him. "Matt. Come on, dude. Stop."

I jerked around as I reached the elevator and poked him in the chest. "Fuck you for that. What did you and Dad think would happen? Hm?"

"Look. I know you're-"

"You don't know anything. You have your life planned out in front of you, the woman you love beside you and everyone else to worship the ground you walk on. You don't know shit." I got in the elevator and watched him with the fury that burned deep inside of me. Of all people for my brother and my father to make me look like a weak child in front of, it had to be Erica Hall.

The one woman I'd consider hitting my knees for. As if she would have anything to do with me after leaving without a word, and now this...

"Fuck all of it. Why do I even bother?" I moved toward the door as it opened and barreled past a group of monkeys in suits. The scream beating against my teeth was held in by a smidgen of respect for my father. He'd built his legacy up for him and Damon to enjoy and now they were muscling me into it too. It was done in love, but damn if I wasn't hot by the way they went about it.

I jogged to my truck and got inside before I let out a string of curse words and pounded the steering wheel. The woman walking beside the truck jumped back and I smiled and lifted my hands in apology.

"I hate this shit. All of it." I started my truck and drove straight for the NBC offices on the other side of the city. Bethany would probably be bias to helping me see the good in Damon and my father, but Sophie wouldn't. She would let me bitch and act a fool until I calmed down. Then she'd help me curse everyone around me until I felt better. That's why she had been my best friend since childhood.

I parked in the garage beside the large high rise where every secret in the world was known. It was almost comical to think that someone like Sophie, who was insanely private about her personal life, would work to expose other people. True oxymoron.

The stern looks on the people's faces that I passed gave me yet another reason to run for the hills instead of working at M&B. I wanted to enjoy my life, to be free to experience all sorts of incredible things. Everyone pimped out in a standard black, grey or navy suit downtown had the same look on their faces. Like someone had just administered an enema with no lube. It was the last thing I wanted to experience. Living a life with all duty and no pleasure. No way.

I stopped at the front desk and smiled at the older woman who glanced up.

"Can I help you?"

"Yes. I'm here to see Sophie Marque with NBC." I glanced toward the security gate, hoping that by some miracle she might come bounding through and save me the hassle.

"Fine. Wait over there please, sir, and I'll give her the message that someone is here to see her. Can I get your name and your business?"

"Sure. I'm Matthew Bryant. I'm her baby-daddy." I leaned toward the woman and whispered the last bit.

She smirked. "All right. I'll be sure to tell her that her baby-daddy is here."

"Thank you, kindly." I turned and walked to the row of chairs, feeling a little bit better, but not much.

My father and brother made a fool of me in front of Erica, and what was worse? She complied. Talking about me like I wasn't sitting in front of the fucking camera. I ran my hand down my face. I truly deserved anything she wanted to throw my way. I'd messed up big time. Fixing it was at the top of my list, but now... I wasn't so sure. She too saw me as a jacked up, immature little boy.

Hell, maybe I was.

"You sure do look deep in thought. Don't strain yourself. You could pop a vein." Sophie stopped in front of me and glanced down, her eyes filled with humor.

"I've already popped a few today, what's one more?" I got up and nodded toward the coffee shop across the street. "I need to vomit emotion. You got a few minutes?"

"For you? Absolutely." She slipped her arm into mine. "Any reason why you told Tammi over there that you're my baby-daddy?"

"I didn't tell her that." I glanced over at Tammi and winked. "I said Band-Aid caddie, like your walking first aid kit."

She rolled her eyes and moved around me as I held the door for her. "You're never going to grow up, are you?"

"Do you think I should?" I walked beside her to the stop light and reached for her hand as we crossed the street, not wanting to lose her in the crowd.

"No. I like you just how you are." She tugged her hand from mine. "You know I hate it when you try and manhandle me."

"Manhandle?" I snorted. "I held your hand to make sure you didn't get away from me. I think you better ask for another adventure other than Saudi Arabia. I'm pretty sure your definition of manhandle is a joke compared to how those men treat their women."

"Not the prince. I've been studying him." She gave me a knowing look and opened the door to the coffee shop.

"And? Spill." I walked in and breathed in deeply, loving the deep aroma in the air. It smelled like lazy mornings and comfort. It reminded me of Erica somehow.

"He's nontraditional. He's hoping to find an American woman to birth his children." She shrugged and moved up in line.

"Wait. Are you saying that you're good with him putting that out for everyone to hear? He wants an American woman to birth his children? What about to love? To cherish? To build a life with?"

"That's what he meant, silly." She moved up and ordered.

I ordered something big and sugary before turning my attention back on her. "He meant sex. That's what having children starts out with. Did you miss this day in eighth grade?"

She popped me in the chest. "No. You were in the next room, remember? You asked me a million questions about... never mind."

I chuckled. I'd drilled her with questions while the other guys in school were drilling anything that walked and breathed. We were different, but it was simply what made us... us.

"Today has been a total bust." I sat down at a small table and glanced up at her. She was beyond beautiful, and would most likely score a prince in the Middle East, or anyone else she wanted. It was weird not to have feelings for her outside of our friendship, but I didn't. She was like a sister to me.

"Yeah. Tell me what happened. It's rare for you to come all the way to the office to see me." She walked up to the counter to grab our drinks and handed me mine as she sat down across from me. "Something happen with Erica? Is that her name?"

"Yeah." I took a long sip of my frozen coffee drink and winced. "Brain freeze."

"That takes a brain." She winked and leaned back in her chair. "Tell me what happened."

"They wanted to have a conference call with Erica, the four of us. I haven't spoken with her since leaving Seattle a week ago, and as anyone in their right mind would be, she's upset with me."

"Wait. Back up. You went up there and what? Tell me the full deal. I haven't seen you since before you left, remember."

"Right." I ran my fingers through my hair and glanced around. Rehashing everything was going to suck royally.

"You're not getting out of this. I know your flight-look. You're not running from me. Just spill." She took another drink of her coffee and watched me closely.

"We had fun. She took care of the contract with Jonathan, we went to a concert, to the harbor, made love a few times and-"

"Wait. Made love?" Her lips turned up into a smile that reached her eyes.

"You're really pretty when you smile like that. You should do it more often." I took another drink of my drink too.

"Thank you, but get back to the fucking. Was it awesome?"

"Yes. Fucking usually is." I pulled my straw out of the cup and used it to scoop up whipped cream. "I left on Monday morning without saying goodbye."

"Why?" Her voice hardened. "Like you snuck out while she was still in the bed?"

"No. I passed out on the couch the last night we were together and woke up the next morning to a stiff note from her. It was very business-like." I shrugged. "I left and headed home with the intent to call her, but I didn't."

"Let me ask again. Why? That's an extreme insult to a woman, Matt."

"I'm realizing that now." I glanced up and let out the breath I didn't realize I was holding. "I was scared, fuck, I still am. It's not like one weekend in her arms is going to change that."

"You gotta get over this jacked up commitment phobia thing you have going on." She reached out and touched my hand. "Look at me."

I glanced up. "What?"

"You know how much I love you, right?"

"Yeah. I know you wanna lick the skin from my bones and force me to have your babies."

"Well, there is that, of course." Her smile faded. "She sounds like a great catch, and the kind of woman that would force you to become the man we all know is inside of you. Stop running and turn around."

I glanced down toward our clasped hands. "Can you and I just get married? I'm comfortable with you."

"No." She tugged her hand from mine. "You're not a prince, and I'm not the girl that makes your heart ache, or your body yearn for carnality."

"We could work on all of that." I was teasing. There was no one in my past or possibly in my future that was going to emotionally bend me over the way Erica had for the last two years. She was supposed to be mine.

"Just call her, Matt."

"My father and Damon had me in a conference call with her today, and she blew me off pretty hard."

"Of course she did. You dismissed her after she opened her body to you." Sophie huffed and gave me a stern look. "Any woman would kick you to the curb after that."

"So what the fuck do I do?" I glanced up at the ceiling, trying hard to sound like a spoiled frat boy. It was a fitting persona for me. I liked it.

"Go to Seattle and win her back. Be the man you are and tell the scared little boy to take a hike."

I dropped my chin and tilted my head to the side a little. "When are you leaving for the Middle East again? January?"

"Yes, but stop diverting. Do what you need to do to get her back. Promise me."

"Maybe." I turned my attention to the people in the coffee shop, letting my eyes run across their expressions and wondered what their lives might be like. Was anyone fighting against themselves to grow up like I was? Were they in love or searching high and low for someone that could provide the high I got around Erica?

"Come on. I gotta get back. We can jog in the morning if you want. I'll walk you to your truck."

"Okay." I got up and took another long draw from my straw before walking out into the chilly late afternoon with Sophie. "I want to show you something I'm working on."

"For the private showing at De Luge?" She glanced over at me and reached out to grab my hand as we ran across the street.

I tugged my hand free and winked at her. "People will talk, baby girl."

"Oh brother." She moved in front of me, and we walked in a comfortable silence until I reached my truck.

"This is my centerpiece for the showing, if I can pull it together and get it done." I opened the truck, pulled out my sketch pad and flipped it to the picture of Erica.

"Wow," Sophie mumbled with reverence. She glanced up at me. "Matt. This is the most beautiful thing I've ever seen."

"Yeah?" I reached out and ran my fingers just outside of the figure's face. "It's how I see her."

"Erica?" She pursed her lips.

I nodded. "Yeah. It's how Damon sees Bethany, or my father sees Karen. It's just love. Hurts like a fucker when it's not working, but it feels so good when it does." I pulled the pad from her and closed it. "I just want to get my stuff together before I try to fix what I've destroyed. I want to be everything she needs me to be. Then I can present myself as a viable option for her, Sophie."

"What if someone gets there before you?"

"Then I deserve to lose her." I shrugged and pulled at her arm. "Go back to work and stop making me rethink everything. I hate that about you."

"Not true." She put her hands on her hips. "It's the reason you came to see me today. You wanted me to set you straight."

"Did I?" I got in the truck, closed the door and rolled down the window. "You know Damon is planning his wedding."

She leaned toward me and pressed her hands to the windowsill. "I doubt Damon is doing much of anything."

"True. Bethany is planning the wedding. I'll get you the date soon."

"Great." She reached out and squeezed my arm. "You need to fix this. Love doesn't come around all the time, Matt."

"True, and sometimes you have to run halfway across the world to find it."

She smiled. "That's what I'm hoping to do. You just need to hop on a plane and take a three-hour flight. So cheesy easy."

"Maybe, but the hard part starts when I get there, you know?"

She nodded. "Is she worth it?"

I didn't hesitate for a second. "Absolutely. I'm just not sure if I am."