Chapter 39

Lanie

 

The beeping coming from the computer made me jump in my seat. Turning around in my chair, I stared at the screen in confusion for a second before realizing someone was calling me on video chat.

A smile pulling at my lips, and I hit the green answer button. Andrew’s face popped up, his large office windows behind him.

“Well, hello,” I answered, glancing at my office door to make sure it was closed all the way. Taking personal calls at work wasn’t forbidden, but I still felt weird about it and didn’t want to spend too much time chatting people up when I could have been bettering tomorrow’s minds and all that jazz.

“Hello, Miss Jacobs,” Andrew purred. “Have I caught you at a bad time?”

Heat traveled through me, and I crossed my legs, trying to get rid of that familiar ache Andrew’s voice always caused. “I can chat for a bit. How are you? How is work?”

Andrew scrunched his nose slightly. “Can’t complain. I’ve been distracted by thoughts of you all day, though.”

“I know the feeling,” I sighed, propping my chin on my hand.

“Your day is almost over, no?” He looked at his wristwatch. God, I loved that he wore one. When everyone else relied on their smartphones for everything, Andrew Marx still wore a watch. It was so classic and, therefore, sexy.

“Yeah,” I answered. “Almost over. The bell rang, but I have a few things I need to finish up before I go home.”

Almost a week had gone by since Thanksgiving, and Andrew and I had gotten to see each other twice, which actually didn’t feel like much at all. Something had happened to me after my parents accepted him in my life and I’d hung out at home with him and Raven. It was like a “Go” flag had been waved. Just like that, we were off, free to go crazy and spend as much time with each other as we wanted.

Before, I’d thought about him a lot. Craved him a lot. But now it was at a deeper level. The giddy feelings Andrew gave me were still there, but there was a sense of familiarity as well. I’d never had it with another guy, and I was trying not to dissect the feeling, but even I couldn’t believe my good luck.

“Don’t you have, like, a million employees to be bossing around?” I teased.

“Maybe, but there’s no crime in calling my girlfriend midday and seeing how she’s doing.”

His words electrified my heart. Girlfriend. Andrew had never called me that before.

But, wow, did I like how it sounded.

“I’m doing great now that I’ve talked to you,” I admitted, not even caring how corny the whole conversation sounded.

Andrew ran his front teeth across his bottom lip, and his gaze lowered as he checked me out through the screen. “You look amazing today.”

“So do you,” I murmured. “I like your hair like that.”

He grabbed at the roots of his tousled hair. “It’s because I’ve been yanking at it in frustration trying to get work done before the weekend.”

“What’s happening this weekend?”

“I was hoping to take you out Friday night.”

“Oh.” I smiled in pleasure. “Whatever happened to the workaholic I first met?”

“What, you want him back?”

“No! Definitely not. I think Raven and I would both have to kill you if that happened.”

“I always knew beautiful women would be the death of me.” Andrew leaned back in his chair, putting his laced fingers behind his head. “So, what about Friday night?”

“Um.”

“No. Don’t tell me you have plans with some other guy.”

I grinned. “What other guy, Andrew? What else could I need?”

He smiled wider, and my heart felt like it was about to explode from happiness. Was this “the conversation?” Had we just declared we were exclusive, sealed the deal, and such?

“Raven has plans,” Andrew said. “So we have the whole night to ourselves. Think about what you want to do.”

“Okay.” Just as I said it, a familiar voice came from the other side of my door. Was that Raven?

“I should go,” I explained. “Talk later?”

Andrew winked. “Have a good afternoon.”

“You too,” I sighed, dangerously close to swooning.

Andrew’s sexy face disappeared from my screen, and I closed the chat window before getting up and cracking my office door. I’d been right. Raven was in the hallway.

She leaned against the wall across from my office, down a few feet, allowing me the perfect view of her face. And what a face it currently was. Raven glowed like she was made out of sunlight. She was talking to a guy who stood with his back to me, but I could take an easy guess as to who it was.

Sure enough, Jason turned slightly to the side as he said something in a low voice. Raven laughed, and a pack of kids passed by, obscuring my vision. When the view cleared again, Raven had tilted her head to the side. Despite the fact that they were just across the hall, I couldn’t make out anything they said.

Realizing I was creeping, I shut my office door. Jason and Raven had made up, it seemed.

I wasn’t sure how I felt about that.

After the day Raven had slapped him, I did a little poking around and confirmed what she’d basically already told me. Jason was that guy at our school. As in, the boys all wanted to be him, and the girls all wanted to get with him. I wondered how many girls Jason had been with. I doubted he was a virgin. And what about Raven? I’d never brought that conversation up with Andrew.

I didn’t want to pry, but I also didn’t want Raven getting hurt. I’d lost my virginity when I wasn’t much older than her, and I’d always wished that I’d waited. Maybe if someone had encouraged me to be careful, had filled me in on how quickly things change when you’re a teen and young adult.

The intercom above my head crackled, and Principal Stafford’s voice came over the line. As the afternoon’s closing announcements droned on, I opened the door again. Raven and Jason were waving goodbye.

“Raven.”

She looked over, eyes going wide with surprise as if she’d forgotten she was flirting right across from my office.

“Hi,” I said.

She straightened up, adjusting her backpack strap. “Hey.”

I stayed where I was, leaning in the doorway. “Looks like you and Jason have made up.”

Her lips twisted as she tried not to smile. “Yeah. He apologized for what happened at the party.”

“That’s good.”

Raven’s face fell. “You don’t look like it is.”

My heart twisted. She looked so disappointed.

“Do you want to come in?” I pushed my door open further. “Or do you have to catch the bus?”

“I have German club in, like, fifteen minutes. Karen is picking me up afterward.” Pushing herself off the wall, she entered my office.

“Video chatting?” she asked, dropping into a chair and settling into a cross-legged position.

“Huh?”

She nodded at the computer screen. Although I’d closed out the conversation box with Andrew, I’d neglected to shut down the entire video chat program.

“Uh, yeah.” I hastily clicked the program closed.

“Anyone interesting?”

The cheeky look on her face said she suspected I’d been talking to her dad. Embarrassment flooded me, and I looked for a way to dodge the question but then realized there was no point. I wanted to connect with Raven, to find out what was happening with her and Jason, but our relationship had gone beyond that of counselor-student. It was even beyond that of Dad’s New Girlfriend. If I wanted transparency from Raven, I needed to offer it myself.

“Just some hot guy,” I said.

Raven made a disgusted face. “Ew.”

“Sorry.” I laughed. “It’s true.”

“You can stop right there. I don’t need to hear any more.”

I leaned forward in my seat, resting my arms on my desk. “I had a really good time at your house last week. Thanks again for inviting me.”

“Yeah, no problem. It was cool.” She shook her hair out and tied it into a fresh ponytail. “Have you and my dad been hanging out?”

The question seemed a little weird considering she’d wanted to stop talking about him, but I kind of got it. No sexy talk about Andrew, but everything else was fine.

“Yeah,” I slowly said. “We’ve seen each other a couple times.”

She pouted slightly. “He hasn’t told me.”

“Maybe he thinks you don’t want to hear about us.”

Raven’s eyebrows rose. “You came over for Thanksgiving. I know you two are dating. What else is there to hide?”

I thought about that. “Nothing, I guess. But I think he wants to be careful. He doesn’t want too much going on in your life all at once.”

It was the most honest I’d ever been with Raven, and I couldn’t really say why I was going the route of full disclosure. My intuition told me it was time. Being around Raven had shown me she could handle a lot more than her elders, Andrew included, probably gave her credit for.

“I’ve been fine.” Raven stared me down. “Right? Don’t you think I have?”

“It seems that way.” I leaned back in my seat, scooting down some. I’d been working at my desk most of the day, and my hips were sore from all the sitting. “You know if he’s being secretive, it’s out of love, right?”

“Yes.”

Her answer surprised me, and for a moment, I didn’t know what to say.

“Cool,” I finally managed. “Glad we have that squared away.” I gave her a smile to show her I wasn’t being serious. “So what’s the deal with you and Jason now that he’s apologized? Are you guys going out?”

“Going out in what way?”

“Any way.” I laughed.

Raven looked down at her lap. “I don’t know. I guess. I mean, he said I’m the only girl he wants, and, you know, he’s sorry about what happened, and he wants to be a better man for me.”

I tried not to laugh over a seventeen-year-old claiming he wanted to be a better man.

“That’s good,” I said instead.

“Yeah.” She peeked up at me from under her eyelashes. “I’ve never had one.” Raven swallowed, clearly embarrassed. “I’ve never had a boyfriend before.”

“I didn’t have my first boyfriend till I was seventeen.”

“Yeah, it’s whatever. I know it’s normal and all.”

“Totally.”

Raven dropped her face again. Was she trying to take the conversation somewhere else?

I thought fast, desperately looking for the right words. “And it wasn’t much longer after that that I lost my virginity.”

That got her attention. “How much longer after that?”

“Like a year later. It was a different guy, not my first boyfriend. And I-I kind of regret it.”

Raven groaned. “Lanie. Is this a celibacy talk?”

“No!” I sat up straighter.

“Okay. Good. Let me point out that things are different now than they were when you were in high school ten years ago.”

“I didn’t go to school in the fifties, Raven.”

“That’s not what I mean.” She laughed.

“Oh, really? You weren’t trying to suggest that all the kids hung out at the movie drive-in, and French kissing was obscene?”

“I’m pretty sure they were having sex back then.”

“Yeah.” I shrugged. “They probably were.”

“So now you’re going to ask me if I am?”

I stopped my jaw from dropping just in time. “We can talk about that if you want.”

“Dad and I have.” She picked up a handful of paper clips from the holder on my desk and started linking them together. “And I’ve never done it. Not that Dad knows anything about that. I don’t think I’d tell him if I had.”

Raven quickly looked back at me.

“I don’t have to tell him anything about this,” I quietly affirmed.

Raven nodded. It suddenly occurred to me that we could one day soon be crossing the boundaries of what was appropriate for a student and counselor to discuss.

But we were so much more than student and counselor. I was her dad’s girlfriend. New girlfriend, yeah, but one who had come to really care for the both of them, like, a lot.

I loved them both. It was too early to say that, but it was the truth. I couldn’t stand the thought of seeing Andrew or Raven be hurt. Especially not by some polo-wearing dude with too much body spray on.

“Do you want Jason to be your first?” I asked.

Raven studied the carpet. “Maybe? I don’t know. I really like him, but if he is my first, just not yet. You know?”

She looked back to me, and I nodded. “Definitely.”

There was more I needed to say, but I had to be careful how I broached the next part. “One more thing. Guys like Jason, I mean, boys Jason’s age can be ...” I waited for the right word to come to me before realizing there wasn’t one. “Horndogs,” I finished. “They can be super horny.”

Raven laughed. “Girls can, too.”

I smiled. “Yeah, I know.”

“They’re just better at controlling themselves in high school.”

“I can’t argue with you there.”

“I think I know what you’re going to say,” she earnestly went on. “And I can handle myself around guys like Jason. I took care of him last week, didn’t I?”

“Um, I don’t think I’d be doing my profession justice if I said slapping a person equated with properly dealing with them.”

Grabbing her backpack, Raven stood. “But I’m not going to let anything I’m not ready for happen.”

I stood as well, studying her, wishing I’d been that confident at seventeen.

“Okay,” I answered. “I’m really happy to hear that. I’m here to talk if you ever need to, and your dad is as well.”

“I know. Thanks. Hey, I have to get to German club.”

“Okay. Have a good time. See you later.”

“You too.” Raven gave me a grateful smile, but whether it was due to our conversation happening or due to it ending, I couldn’t tell. I hoped the former.

She left the door hanging open behind her, and I leaned against my desk, arms crossed. It seemed Raven had more decisive of a mind when it came to boys than I’d expected. At her age, I was too susceptible to others wants and needs. More than once, I let myself get caught up in doing things I didn’t really want to and not just with boyfriends.

So at least she had her own mind. That was good.

Yet still, I couldn’t help but worry.

“Just don’t get your heart broken, Raven,” I whispered into the quiet room. “There’s no good in that.”