Chapter 45

Lanie

The only thing worse than a tragedy was the silence that followed it.

I never knew that before—not until I sat in the back of a cab with quiet cutting me to the bone. Next to me, Andrew had given up on calling the hospital, Karen, and the police. None of them had been able to provide him with all the answers he wanted.

There was a car accident. Raven was in a coma. Someone else was driving. Come right away. That’s all any of them would say.

Andrew sat forward, his fist pressed against his mouth, staring at the back of the driver’s seat but surely not seeing it.

“Hey,” I whispered, my voice cracking.

I reached over and took the hand that lay on his knee. It was too cold. He’d forgotten to put his gloves on. If it weren’t for me grabbing his jacket as we rushed out of the hotel room, he wouldn’t be wearing that either.

“Raven’s a fighter,” I said.

His lips twitched, and his eyes stayed where they’d been the last ten minutes. After getting the call from Karen, we were finally back in Seattle. At another time, I would have been impressed by the helicopter Andrew had come pick us up. But today, I couldn’t summon an ounce of any sort of happy feeling.

“This is just like Danica,” Andrew said quietly.

“What?” My fingers were still on his cold, unresponsive ones. I planned on keeping them there in case he suddenly decided he needed my touch.

Andrew’s shoulders tightened, and he sat up straighter. Though he turned his face slightly in the direction of mine, the absent look in his dark eyes never changed. “Raven’s mother died in a car accident. Ten years ago.” He made a bitter, sputtering noise. “So we’re cursed. That’s what this is.”

“Andrew,” I said sternly, “you know there’s no such thing as curses. And Raven is not dead. She’s going to be fine.”

Even as I said the words, which at that moment were true, they felt like a lie. Things were fine right then, but I didn’t know what tomorrow would bring. Raven was in a coma, but what did that mean for the future? How often did people wake up from those?

My eyes filled with tears. I didn’t dab at them because that would show I was close to crying. It didn’t matter how much this catastrophe was hurting me. Andrew had to have been in ten times the pain. I needed to stay as strong as I could for him.

“There it is.” Andrew had his door open before the car rolled to a stop in front of the hospital.

“You go,” I told him. “I’ll get the bags.”

He didn’t show he’d heard me, but he disappeared between the sliding doors. Hustling to get our bags out of the trunk, I gave the driver a tip and rushed into the hospital, my hands and shoulders laden down by my purse and our suitcases.

Wishing I hadn’t packed so many wardrobe options for two nights away, I rolled the bags to the front desk. The tired-looking woman there directed me to the wing Raven was in, reminding me I might not be able to see her if I wasn’t family.

“Thanks,” I told her, rushing away once more.

As soon as the elevator slid open on the ICU’s waiting room, I saw Karen. She sat at the far end, shoulders hunched over, repeatedly folding a tissue in a search for a dry spot.

“Karen.”

She looked up, eyes wide. Leaving the bags along the row of blue-cushioned, plastic chairs, I plopped down in the seat next to her.

“Oh, Lanie,” she whimpered, chin trembling.

“It’s all right.” Ignoring the armrests between us, I wrapped my arms around her and held her close. The touch made her start sobbing.

“Don’t worry,” I told her, only because I didn’t know what else to say. I’d been trained in school for situations like this, but standing in the middle of one was like getting the rug pulled out from under my feet.

“I kn-knew something was wrong when she didn’t come home,” Karen gasped into my shoulder. “I waited three hours, and th-then the police called.”

I rubbed her back and looked around the waiting room. Andrew was nowhere to be seen. “Have the doctors told you anything new?”

“No.” Karen sniffled and mournfully shook her head. “She has a broken arm and a broken leg, and she’s in a coma.”

Coma.

Would that word now make me feel nauseous for the rest of my life?

“They say she’s stable,” Karen added, nodding affirmatively.

My heart jerked from that nugget of hope. “That’s good. So, she’ll wake up soon, right?”

Karen blinked back the last wave of tears. “That’s what they said, yes.”

“So everything is going to be fine,” I said, finally believing it myself. “Did Andrew go in to see her?”

Karen nodded and sighed. “Oh, Lanie. What have I done? It was that boy. I saw him pick her up. I was right there, and I let them go. Teenagers shouldn’t be driving.”

My blood ran cold. “Which boy?” I questioned, afraid I already knew the answer.

“That Jason one. He came and fetched Raven for some party, and she was supposed to be home before midnight. That’s what we’d agreed on, but then, you know.” Karen bit down on her bottom lip.

“Is Jason all right?”

“Yes. He broke his arm as well, but that’s all.”

I sat back in my chair, my head spinning. I’d been worried about Raven hanging out with Jason, but for other reasons. The two of them getting in a car accident was a possibility that never crossed my mind.

My chest and throat stung as a new kind of pain crept over me. Was this partly my fault? I’d noticed the way Jason and Raven acted around each other. Despite her claims that she could take care of herself, I should have known Raven would be susceptible to Jason’s charm. Every hot guy has the ability to make women do things they never thought they would, to push the envelope, to take risks that aren’t worth it.

Is that what had happened here? Had Raven been seeing everything through love-colored glasses? Maybe gotten herself into a car with someone who shouldn’t have been driving when under other circumstances, she would have known not to do that?

I clutched the edges of my seat and stared at the ugly, tan carpet. I’m sorry, Raven. I should have been a stronger role model. I should have been more assertive. I should have given you better advice.

Instead, I’d let myself trust her. I’d let myself believe she really was that precocious, and now look where she was.

“Andrew,” Karen squeaked, sending me jumping to my feet.

Andrew approached from out of the doors you had to be buzzed through, his hair raked every which way by his fingers and his eyes wild. “She’s still not awake.”

“But she’s stable,” I quickly said.

His eyes briefly flicked to me. They had this weird look like he’d almost forgotten I was there. “Yeah.” He pivoted on his heel, looking like he was about to go somewhere but then remembering there was nowhere to go. We were stuck in this sudden hell.

“Shit,” he spat, settling for pulling at his hair as he paced. I could nearly feel Karen recoil next to me.

“How did this happen?” Andrew asked no one in particular.

Karen answered anyway. “Raven’s friend Jason was driving.”

Andrew stopped pacing to stare at her. “Jason? Jason who?”

I swallowed. “A friend of hers from school.”

Andrew blinked and stared at me. “Okay. How come … Wait, why—?”

“I’ve seen him around,” I explained, hoping that was good enough. Raven and I had talked about Jason some, but those conversations were technically confidential, and sharing them wouldn’t change anything currently happening.

“Jason.” Hands on his hips, Andrew nodded. “Do we have a last name?”

“Um.” Before I could answer, he stomped over to the desk. I exchanged a look with Karen, finding her eyes full of fear and despair. I’d only seen hints of Andrew’s temper before, but I got the sense I was about to experience the full force of it.

“I need to know about this Jason kid who was in the car with my daughter, Raven,” he told the woman at the desk.

She frowned. “I’m afraid we can’t release any information on patients.”

“You have to be kidding me.”

“No, sir,” she said in a clipped tone. “I’m not. That’s confidential to anyone other than family members.”

“I need to talk to him,” Andrew growled.

“Andrew,” I said softly, wrapping my hand around his arm. “She can’t tell you anything.” I tried to pull him back to the chairs, but he didn’t budge.

“Was he drinking?” Andrew demanded, voice growing louder. The few other people in the waiting room looked over, and my face burned.

“She doesn’t know,” I said.

“Sir, if you’re going to cause a scene, I’ll have to call security.” The woman gave him a look that said she meant business, and Andrew deflated under my hand.

“Let’s sit down,” I quietly said.

This time he allowed me to guide him back to the chairs.

“He was drunk,” Andrew tonelessly said, taking a seat next to Karen.

I perched on the chair on his other side, my hand still on his arm. “We don’t know that.”

“It’s easy math, Lanie. Teenage boy. The weekend. A car.”

I tried not to be offended by his tone, reminding myself that none of this was about me. Still, it sounded like he had something against teenage boys. Or he was remembering when he was that age. Either way, the statement wasn’t fair.

“The police only said that he broke his arm,” Karen offered. “They didn’t say anything about alcohol.”

“That doesn’t mean he didn’t have some,” Andrew was quick to answer. “Did you meet him, Karen?”

“No.” She shook her head so that her hoop earrings swung against her neck.

“I’m going to find his parents,” Andrew growled, “and I’m going to get some fucking answers.”

The intensity of his words made me shrink back. Pulling my hand away from him, I sat in a new kind of discomfort. The way he was talking wasn’t right. Jason was just a kid, and until the facts about what went down came out, we couldn’t jump to conclusions.

“Is he the one she’s been hanging out with?” Andrew asked the floor, his eyebrows bunched. “Does she even have any girlfriends, or is that a lie?”

I opened my mouth, hoping an answer would come.

None did.

Andrew roughly ran his palm over his mouth. “I’m going to get to the bottom of this. He’s going to pay.”

From over Andrew’s bent back, I caught Karen’s eyes. She looked as concerned as I felt over his behavior.

“This is my fault,” Andrew went on. “I should have paid more attention to her. I—”

“Stop right there.” I placed my hand on his knee. “This is not your fault.”

He shook his head, nostrils flaring with a harsh exhale. Nothing I said seemed to make any difference, but I had to keep trying.

“Raven is stable,” I pointed out. “She’s going to get better. The only thing we can do right now is to stay positive and hope for the best.”

Karen sniffled again, and Andrew clasped his hands tightly together. No one said a thing.

After a few minutes of silence, I spoke up. “Look, we’re not going to be any use to Raven here. The best thing we can do is go home and get some rest and then come back tomorrow.”

“I’m not going anywhere.” Andrew’s answer was so swift and firm, I knew better than to argue.

“Okay,” I replied. “Karen, go home, okay? You need to get some rest.”

They were both older than me, and it felt strange to suddenly be the one calling the shots, but there was no one else to do it. Karen and Andrew were both beside themselves, albeit in different ways.

Karen surveyed Andrew before nodding. “I’ll come back first thing tomorrow morning.”

As she passed, I reached out and squeezed her hand, and she gave me a grateful smile.

With only me and Andrew left, he turned his face to me. For the first time since he’d gotten the call about Raven, it seemed he really saw me. “You go too.”

“No.”

Andrew smiled sadly. “You just said there’s nothing you can do here.”

“There’s nothing we can do, and yet you’re staying, so I am too.”

Andrew reached over and took my hand. Our fingers interlaced, strong and warm. I brought his hand up and kissed the top of it. The pain seemed to explode from his eyes. It was too much to handle, but I forced myself not to look away. Just the night before, I had confessed my love to this man. Whether or not he’d heard me was beside the point. We’d only been together for a short time, but I was committed. Through thick and thin, I was going to be by his side.

“How about this,” I said slowly. “I’ll run home and get some pillows and blankets. That way, we’ll at least be a little comfortable here. Is there anything else you want me to pick up?”

Andrew rubbed the back of his neck. “Why isn’t Jason here? What is he hiding?”

My heart jerked. “He’s just another kid, Andrew,” I insisted. “He’s probably not very good at driving, but he might be. And, you know, accidents happen to everyone.”

“No.” His eyes turned steely. “They don’t. I’ve never been in an accident. I pay attention on the road. I don’t want to be like that prick who killed my wife. He wasn’t paying attention, and neither was Jason.”

Hurt rippled through me, and I sucked on my lips. I couldn’t see into Andrew’s head, but I knew there was a lot going on in there. The pain of his daughter being in a bad accident had probably been doubled thanks to it bringing up the past agony of his wife’s death.

He was going through so much, and there was nothing I could do about it other than just be by his side.

“I’ll be back soon.” I squeezed his hand. “Real soon.”

As I stood to leave, I almost told him not to go anywhere, but I knew wild horses wouldn’t drag him out of that waiting room.