Chapter 56

Erica

I felt a little more alive when I opened my eyes the next morning. The hangover was almost a welcomed pain seeing that it demanded my attention over the emotional bullshit I was still suffering from.

Kent and Karen's wedding had played in my mind's eye all night, the trip to Jamaica the first time I got to be part of a family. They'd pulled me in and put me to work. I was there to support them, but more than anything else, I wanted Matthew to see me. Really see me.

A smile lifted my lips as I rolled onto my side. He'd been a hot mess on that trip, and all the others after it. I intimidated him something horrible, but it was all part of the story, part of my charm.

"Not anymore." I closed my eyes and pulled the covers up around my throat. He wasn't intimidated by me now that I belonged to him, or used to. He saw me as a woman, as a partner, as someone he could protect and cherish.

I had to fight for us. I couldn't just let the shit lie where it was.

Rolling over, I reached for my phone as it rang. Lanie.

"Hey." I sat up in bed, a little unnerved by the timing of her call.

"Hey. You doing okay?" She sounded like she had just finished jogging a mile.

"I'm okay. You sound out of breath." I chuckled. "Do I want to know?"

"Shit. I've been chasing one of the little boys in my class around the hallways. He's having a meltdown, and I'm about the only one that he'll let near him."

"Oh. Did you get him?"

"Yeah. He's fine. You sound good. At least, better."

"I'm not sure that I'm either, but I'm ready to see Matt. I need to tell him what happened and force him to hear the truth at least."

"I think that's a great idea. He's had some time to stew on everything too. Maybe he's ready to talk." She took a deep breath. "Where are you?"

"I'm in my hotel in Vancouver."

"Are you going to check out the city at all?"

"Maybe tomorrow. I'm ready to start painting again. I got a canvas and some different paints earlier this week in hopes of helping the healing process start."

"Oh, nice! I love the sound of that."

"Yeah. I'm here though. I'm not sure when I'm coming home." I got up and walked to the kitchen. "Maybe when my savings runs out?"

"Can I come up and visit soon, then? I'm missing my dinner and yoga partner. You're all I've got."

Guilt raced through me. She was right, and if I were being honest, she was all I had too. "Come up here this weekend."

"No, but maybe next weekend?"

"I'd love that."

"Please be safe, okay?" Lanie pleaded.

"I will. Love you."

"Love you too."

I dropped the call and unwrapped a miniature chocolate muffin as I started the coffee pot up. I'd figure out how and when to get to Matt, but it wasn't today. I needed today for me.

After fixing my coffee up like a dessert, I changed into some painting clothes and spent the day drawing and painting a part of a picture of me and Matt together. It was a simple picture and looked like the two of us only if you knew that's who you were looking at.

I moved back and wrapped my free arm around me as heavy emotions stung me. I missed him so damn much.

There was a half-bottle of red wine in the kitchen that seemed to be calling my name. I didn't want to turn to liquor to ease my pain, but it was a quick fix for the time being. I had to believe there was still hope for me and Matthew. Without it, I would quickly spiral into the darkness.

I opened the bottle and forced myself to get a glass. I needed to keep up with how many ounces I was drinking. Otherwise, I’d finish the whole damn thing without blinking an eye.

A knock at the door surprised me a little. I got up and realized that it was late in the afternoon, almost evening. Maybe the guys at the pub downstairs had sent someone to check on me?

I opened it to find Matt standing on the other side, red and yellow tulips in his hands. He had a pastry box in his other hand, and he was sheet-white.

"Erica," he whispered my name, and I almost lost my footing.

I reached out and grabbed him, pulling him to me and pressing my lips against his. We could fight or talk or whatever later. I just wanted to feel him against me for a minute.

The sound of the vase hitting the floor caused me to yelp. He'd dropped everything and had me in the air, his hand gripping my back and the other lost in my hair as he consumed my mouth.

Tears poured from my eyes as he pressed me against the wall and worshiped my lips and neck in deep kisses and long licks.

"I'm so sorry for the misunderstanding," I whimpered as he rolled his hips, pressing his thick erection against me.

"I need to know what happened, baby. I think I got it wrong." He tucked his face against the side of my throat, and I clung to him, my hands gripping his so tight I know it had to hurt him. "Everything seems so fucked up right now. Tell me that I was wrong, Erica."

"You were wrong." I moved back as best I could and cupped his face before leaning in to kiss him several times. "I didn't sleep with Mitch, Matthew. I hated him."

"What the fuck happened then?" He leaned in for another long kiss, stealing my breath. My body was on fire for him, and yet I knew we needed to talk and make sure we were okay before we made love.

I wouldn't survive feeling him inside of me only to have him walk away afterward. It couldn't happen like that. I wouldn't allow it.

"Put me down. Please." I ran my hands down the sides of his handsome face, knowing without a doubt that I wanted him to be the father of my children. "I'll explain."

He leaned in to kiss me again before brushing his nose against mine. The need in his eyes scorched me. "Before you say a word, know that I missed you so goddamn much. I love you with everything inside of me."

"I feel the exact same way." I slid down the front of his body and let out a breath I hadn't realized I was holding as he moved back. "Mitch was bidding on that fucking painting of me the night of the art show. He wouldn't back down, and I could see how upset you were getting. I freaked out." I lifted my hands in the air. "I didn't know what to do, but as hard as you've worked all your life to figure out who you were, I wasn't going to let the bastard take the moment from you."

"So you did what?" He put his hands on his hips and lifted his eyebrow. He had no clue how cute he was copping an attitude in the middle of my hotel room.

I was still trying to convince myself that he was actually standing there across from me. My mind wanted to make it a dream, to convince me that I wasn't worthy of a man like him coming after me. But I'd felt him against me. Flesh and blood.

"He was interested in me, and trying to pursue something with me, but I told him you and I were together and that I wasn't at all interested. I never led him on in anyway."

"Keep going with the art event, Erica. What happened."

I reached up and brushed my fingers against my lips as fear seized me. "I told him to stop bidding. I didn't want your night to be ruined. I told him to let the painting go. He was being a dick-"

"And what did he want in return for listening to you?" Matt's voice lowered. I'd never seen a side of him that frightened me, but something about the way he leaned toward me and narrowed his eyes, I could see him fucking someone up without worry.

"Me. He wanted me for dinner, dancing, and sex." I dropped my hand from my face. "I thought if I just said yes that he would stop and I could find a way out of it."

Matt's eyes widened and his complexion reddened. "You gave him the one thing that meant the most to me? You?" He was yelling at that point.

"No. I never gave myself over to him. I went to the art event and danced with him. He held my hand or gripped the back of my neck like he owned me, but he never once touched me inappropriately, kissed me, and we never slept together. I drugged him and made him think that I did."

"You did all this crazy shit to make sure that I didn't blow a vein or ten million dollars at the art event?" He reached out and gripped my shoulders. "Why? That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard, baby. Why would you give him the thing that mattered most to me? I'd give up my talents, my money, my house, my fucking everything just to have you. Do you not know how much you mean to me?"

"I'm sorry!" I screamed back at him. "I panicked. I wanted you to have your moment! I've never had mine, and I thought maybe if you had yours-"

He didn't let me finish the sentence before he crashed into me. His mouth covered mine as he ripped my clothes off of me. I tore at his too, helping him out of them as a frantic feeling grew between us. The room felt so small and hot, but I ignored it.

"You don't ever have to protect me, Erica." He toted me to the bed, both of us somehow down to our underwear.

"I'll always want to try. You're the only person in my life that I love besides Lanie." I pulled him down on top of me as he forced me back on the bed. "Please forgive me. I didn't do anything wrong. I never let Mitch touch me."

"You put yourself on the line for me." He closed his eyes and pressed his chin to his chest as he seemed to be trying to gain his composure. "You put yourself in danger for me." He glanced up, and I could see the depths of his love in his eyes. "You were willing to sell your body to save my pride? My moment of self-realization."

I nodded. "I'm sorry, but I would do it all over again. Even with all of this that happened."

"Because you love me." It wasn't a question, but I treated it like one.

"More than you can ever know, Matthew Bryant." I met him as he moved up to kiss me. He had my panties off and his boxers down his thighs by the time I cried out his name.

He pressed deep into me and lifted up on his arms, his massive body so beautiful and strong. "Hold on and tell me if I hurt you. I've been thinking about punishing this tight little pussy since you fucked things up between us."

I reached up and popped him in the chest. "You're corrupt."

"Only for you, woman." He moved up, forcing my legs open wider as he drove into me.

We locked gazes, and he worked me slow and deep as we moaned together. There were no words that needed to be spoken. He knew what had happened and he forgave me. I only meant to do right by him, but people fuck up all the time. He was right.

If I had just been truthful about it, the misunderstanding would have gone away.

"Come for me," he mumbled and lifted up farther, reaching for the headboard with one hand. He cupped my breast with the other and rocked against me, slapping the thick head of his cock against my g-spot.

I twitched and whined, holding onto his side as the delicious pressure of an orgasm built up in my stomach. "I'm so close."

"Let it go. You belong to me, Miss Hall. Come."

A scream tore through me as his words bore deep inside of me. I did belong to him. Body, soul, and spirit. My orgasm beat against my insides, lighting up every pressure point that I had. All I could do was hold onto him as he pumped himself into me in a fast, hard rhythm.

"Your turn." I wrapped my legs tighter against him and lifted up, meeting him stroke for stroke. He was beyond gorgeous as he growled and thrust above me. Every inch of his perfect masculinity.

"I don't have a condom," he grumbled between thrusts.

"I don't care. I want to feel you inside of me."

"You ready for babies already?" He flattened himself on top of me and reached down to cup my ass with his strong hands. He kissed me deeply as I mumbled my yes. I wanted anything he was willing to give me, little Matt's included.

I had him back in my arms again. The world was right, and my future was visible once again. Me. Him. Three little guys. A couple of dogs, and an art studio for both of us.

"Hold me tight, Erica."

"I'll never let go." I wrapped him in a hug and pressed my lips against his thick neck as he worked himself over the edge, filling me with his warmth.

"I love you, baby." He moved up to kiss me a few times as we stared at each other.

"I love you too, and I have, for a long time."

"Same here." He rolled us over. "Now... it's time for make-up sex. Fuck me like you mean it." He reached up and palmed my breasts. The sexy smile on his face told me he was going to milk this shit for all it was worth.

I was fine with that.

I'd just milk him in return.